Angela Roysen and the Fangs of Set ( Part 2 of Chapter 1)
It was time to go home. I had put in my fourteen hours. Clutching a box full of peeping chicks that had been flash delivered by a considerate cultist trying to curry favor with his deity, I made my way to the pinto. No one had brought me burritos. Slime balls. Or at least that was what I thought. When I reached my pinto an unfamiliar ice chest was sitting in my passenger seat.
That last belonged to the priest that you spoke with this morning about my children. He has filled it with tasty things to eat. His culinary skill is most excellent. I suggest that you eat at least some of it and refrigerate the rest.
It wasn’t just burritos. Despite being a really, really white girl I love Mexican food with an unending passion. Good salsa makes me happy. Add crunchy tortilla chips and I am blissful. Chimichanga’s or deep fried burritos for you uninitiated folks out there will trip my every switch if made right. Any man out there seeking to seduce me first finds an out of the way Mexican restaurant with the good salsa that has the cabbage in it and the perfect shredded beef tacos in the soft shells. Taking me there insures he at least gets to third base. Imported tequila means he might slide home.
The contents of the orderly stacked little plastic containers would have secured third base had their giver stayed to see how his offering was received. As it was nothing made it into my fridge, although, due to some consideration on my part, all the little containers were washed and left to dry on my counter.
Stuffed and with teeth brushed and nightie worn this time, I went to bed and clicked off the light. A few hours sleep would ease my throbbing arm and make most everything seem better. I had decided that with deity around I didn’t need dope, even the prescription kind. The full stomach saw to my falling asleep fast and my ability to eat nearly anything eased my way past the indigestion most people suffered.
Morning was far away and my dreams stretched odd and weird. Some even had Set as a guest star in them. Though I didn’t remember very much about any of them I figured that on principal it was time to see if the cat would come back the very next day. As dawn painted the sky I innocently slid on my slippers and sleepily went out on my back balcony. Over the balcony railing and beyond a chain link fence lies the ever swift traffic of the interstate highway.
“Hey Set. Want a Chick?”
The peeps of the small still sleepy chick I held in my hand aroused the predator in my rider. He slid down my arm and engulfed the little animal in his wide jaws. I felt no sympathy. That was going to be me if I wasn’t careful. I relaxed my normally serpent supporting arm muscles and he slid off in the tender grip of gravity. My hand grabbed about a five inch section of tail and I spun the snake over my head like a bola. I let go at the best arc portion and he sailed out over the freeway. Semi meet Set, Set meet Semi. Set go squish. Satisfied with my morning’s labor I went back to my still warm bed and my well earned rest.
Set did come back the very next day. Hell he was back by about ten in the morning that day. I got up from my nap walked my happy bum into the kitchen and addressed the cheeping chicks in their box. “Hey guess what you guys! You don’t have a destiny as dinner any…more.”
A huge cobra, the size of the ones you see in Hindu legend pictures shading the Hindu gods so they don’t get freckles, rose up from behind my thick oak coffee table. Set was not pleased. Oh well too bad huh? My silenced nine millimeter expended a whole magazine of rounds into serpentine flesh. Once out cold he transformed back into basic boa constrictor. The unconscious god was then treated to the same encounter with a brand new semi.
By two in the afternoon on that lovely state holiday, when all good little Set killing detectives get to rest, I had another problem with my serpentine opponent.
On my couch reclined a nearly nude male who was without a doubt the most handsome thing I have ever seen. Credit goes to the snake that my body was not even listening to my orders for a bit. It was too busy drooling. Every cell in my body stood up and did a jig of hormone enhanced happiness.
“Ah so thisss isss what it takesss for you to be passive to my will. It is far harder for you to tossss the body of a handsssome male out the window into the path of an oncoming semi truck isn’t it? Perhapsss if I compensate you with some of thisssss you will behave for me?”
The hissed thisssss was accompanied by the sensuous gesture of one hand running down from his chest to end cupping his groin while he walked towards me. Out of all my brain cells only maybe one or two were uncertain if they should take the offer or not. Fortunately those two cells were able to convince the ones running my martial arts trained muscles that taking the offer would be to much like whoring myself out. Trading anything for sexual favors except more of same was amoral even if I would be fucking a god’s avatar. The rest of my brain grudgingly admitted this as I kung-fued the sensuous serpent back into my couch.
Once he wasn’t holding eye contact I realized I had been tricked and I got mad. Survival of my moral and mental self had been the goal before. Now the only thing on my mind was kicking ass. I pummeled him good and he didn’t even try to fight back. Why he didn’t I had no idea. My anger made it not matter. It was all his fault, all his fault, all his fault. Nothing but where to lay down the blame. That was all that there was to it.
He stayed down after a moment in a way my training knew meant he wasn’t getting back up. I turned around and walked into my room. My blankets were shoved on the floor as usual. I sat on my unmade bed in a pose of meditation and faced the window. I had left my door unlocked and open wide and I really didn’t care. Right then he could have turned back to the form of the giant cobra and I would have welcomed the venom in my veins. I was empty of everything and I had nothing. He had just reminded me exactly what I was, was all. My weeping heart did not appreciate it at all. For me the key to getting rid of all my pain was forgetting. He had made me remember.
I felt a forked tongue caress my cheek. It was Set. Still in his handsome form with his near nudity but with the black forked tongue that made it obvious why he was so sibilant with his S’s before. He was drinking my tears. Tears that I hadn’t realized I had allowed out of my heart in the first place, let alone in such a gushing hot torrent.
My face was hot and my nose was starting to stuff up and run. I don’t cry in dignity. When I cry everyone knows it. When I cry I tend to make a puss bag out of my whole face and my respiratory system leaks snot like a broken water main. I was going to have to go to work blotchy and snuffling. Great day in the morning I was going to be late for work!
I ran out the door so fast I nearly forgot my shoes. They landed in the seat next to me with all speed. Followed, of course, by a large serpent that looked much as he had before the day started. he didn’t even have a scratch despite being shot and thrown in front of two semi trucks and kung fu practiced on by a very mad, well trained cop.
“You are very frustrating snake.”
So says the woman who will not give in to my will even when offered me in my best humanoid shape. Oh please! Who is frustrating?
“If you had half the brain you are supposed to have oh Divinity I wouldn’t even have to tell you why I kicked your ass instead of sucking your snake dicks. Catch a clue!”
I know why you refused really I do. I simply thought that you would accept my offer and then tell me I was out of luck once you had been well fucked. My apologies. When I tasted your tears I better understood. Honor and heart. For once I have chosen well.
He got it in one. First of all that would have been cheating. I don’t say I’ll do something and get the favor for which I promised to act without acting. Second of all I don’t fuck without giving my heart out first. I know better then to love Set. Mortals die early when they profess love to gods of big or little g or anything else that is truly immortal. I would never say it if I didn’t feel it anyway. Lying, cheating and other skullduggery are not within my behavior patterns.
Now that Set understood this maybe we would get along better. Somehow though I doubted it.