(no subject)
Facing Mortality....
I walk back into the little room. "Your dad is the first set of feet there....the third space down." There are those rolling sheets hanging from the ceiling. All the feet that were sticking out looked the same, but as soon as I rounded that first sheet I knew that was my dad, as he was charming all the nurses. I saw a vunerablity in him that I have never seen before with my dad. He was hooked up to these machines, he had an IV in his arm, and there was a large patch over his right eye. His hair was all disheveled, and he was still somewhat comeing to his full self. But he was excited to see me. I just kinda felt my heart sink into my stomache, seeing him like that.....in that hospital gown, it was a feeling I wasn't expecting to have. And this was just a simple eye procedure, catarac surgery. A simple surgery where they cut a 2 mm slit in the eye, break up the lens, suck it out with a little vaccum, and replace with a new artificial lens. A simple enough surgery. But I was just not ready to be seeing him in that vunerable state.
As I get older, and I watch both of my parents get older and have to go through the minor things they have had to, I just don't even know how I would handle something really serious. I suppose I was thinking a bit too much about mortality, because after reading about every magazine in the waiting room, and watching the CBS morning show, I got to the paper, and came across an article about a fire that happened last night. A 28 year old man, and then they said the name and it was actually someone I graduated high school with. Richard Sehi, I remember him slightly as this very cute, but shy kid in my english class junior year. He played football, and was just one of those kids who everyone liked and was just all around a god kid. I can't remember the last time I saw this guy, probablly graduation because I don't remember him being at the class reunion last summer. He was burned over 85% of his body, due to an candle that was left burning.
It's just kinda strange how things affect you. I got my dad home, and we sat around for a little bit. Chatted with my grandma for awhile, and of course she asked the obigatory question......"so how's your friend doing?". And I was fine, I actually said "I have a date for Valentines Day, and I'm really excited about it." So I didn't really get too much into details, not like she would remember anyways. I joined my dad downstairs and watched Rachel Ray a bit, and then he decided he wanted to go to church, beings that it's Ash Wednesday. So I said I would take him. It's always been alittle bit hard being in the Cathedral, it just brings up so many memories. Memories that you think you have under control. I guess the thoughts of everything, my dad in the hospital bed, the death of a classmate, thinking about my friend Rachel who got married there.....(which I just found out that she had a mis-carriage), just so many things. It just brought tears to my eyes.
Luckily I had the screams of a baby behind me to calm my thoughts. But I have to say, it's days like these where I really miss having that person to come home and get a really big hug.
Question of the day.....Are you giving anything up for lent?
I walk back into the little room. "Your dad is the first set of feet there....the third space down." There are those rolling sheets hanging from the ceiling. All the feet that were sticking out looked the same, but as soon as I rounded that first sheet I knew that was my dad, as he was charming all the nurses. I saw a vunerablity in him that I have never seen before with my dad. He was hooked up to these machines, he had an IV in his arm, and there was a large patch over his right eye. His hair was all disheveled, and he was still somewhat comeing to his full self. But he was excited to see me. I just kinda felt my heart sink into my stomache, seeing him like that.....in that hospital gown, it was a feeling I wasn't expecting to have. And this was just a simple eye procedure, catarac surgery. A simple surgery where they cut a 2 mm slit in the eye, break up the lens, suck it out with a little vaccum, and replace with a new artificial lens. A simple enough surgery. But I was just not ready to be seeing him in that vunerable state.
As I get older, and I watch both of my parents get older and have to go through the minor things they have had to, I just don't even know how I would handle something really serious. I suppose I was thinking a bit too much about mortality, because after reading about every magazine in the waiting room, and watching the CBS morning show, I got to the paper, and came across an article about a fire that happened last night. A 28 year old man, and then they said the name and it was actually someone I graduated high school with. Richard Sehi, I remember him slightly as this very cute, but shy kid in my english class junior year. He played football, and was just one of those kids who everyone liked and was just all around a god kid. I can't remember the last time I saw this guy, probablly graduation because I don't remember him being at the class reunion last summer. He was burned over 85% of his body, due to an candle that was left burning.
It's just kinda strange how things affect you. I got my dad home, and we sat around for a little bit. Chatted with my grandma for awhile, and of course she asked the obigatory question......"so how's your friend doing?". And I was fine, I actually said "I have a date for Valentines Day, and I'm really excited about it." So I didn't really get too much into details, not like she would remember anyways. I joined my dad downstairs and watched Rachel Ray a bit, and then he decided he wanted to go to church, beings that it's Ash Wednesday. So I said I would take him. It's always been alittle bit hard being in the Cathedral, it just brings up so many memories. Memories that you think you have under control. I guess the thoughts of everything, my dad in the hospital bed, the death of a classmate, thinking about my friend Rachel who got married there.....(which I just found out that she had a mis-carriage), just so many things. It just brought tears to my eyes.
Luckily I had the screams of a baby behind me to calm my thoughts. But I have to say, it's days like these where I really miss having that person to come home and get a really big hug.
Question of the day.....Are you giving anything up for lent?