Pessimism
My author always kids me about trying to put a positive spin on things, and it's true! I'm negativity impaired! I even tried to put a positive spin on Mike's death in my last journal entry, but all I really did was ignore it, acted like it wasn't even part of the scenario -- like Mike would be right beside me as an elf in Dungeons and Dragons.
My author's friend Amy pointed out he was as good as there; all I had to do was step out of the story and talk to Mike on Yahoo. But really, it's not quite the same. In the original storyline, Mike was an integral presence during most of my adult life. From 19 to 38. I can't imagine what life will be like without him, if I never knew him. Sure, I meet Ray twenty years sooner, but still. And I just learned that Mike is reborn as a Falcon baby. So I'll never know him in that universe. *sigh* I'll still have Ray, though. And probably children. (You know, you can coax the title of one of Sondheim's most beautiful songs out of that: Ray's first name is Arthur -- Art for short. "Children and Art." Yes, this is strange, but I need *something* for a bridge back to positive thinking!) And Henry. For a while, at least. (There I go, thinking negatively again!)
My author's friend Amy pointed out he was as good as there; all I had to do was step out of the story and talk to Mike on Yahoo. But really, it's not quite the same. In the original storyline, Mike was an integral presence during most of my adult life. From 19 to 38. I can't imagine what life will be like without him, if I never knew him. Sure, I meet Ray twenty years sooner, but still. And I just learned that Mike is reborn as a Falcon baby. So I'll never know him in that universe. *sigh* I'll still have Ray, though. And probably children. (You know, you can coax the title of one of Sondheim's most beautiful songs out of that: Ray's first name is Arthur -- Art for short. "Children and Art." Yes, this is strange, but I need *something* for a bridge back to positive thinking!) And Henry. For a while, at least. (There I go, thinking negatively again!)