Fic: When the Freedom of Mankind is Suppressed
Title: When the Freedom of Mankind is Suppressed
Rating: PG
Warnings: Allusion to past abuse
W/C: 3,565
Summary/Notes: This story is inspired by/is a rewrite of the TOS episode “Plato’s Stepchildren”, done at the request of romanse1, who waited WAY too long for this. I really hope you like it! (The title is from the quotation “…how terrible is the pain of the mind and heart when the freedom of mankind is suppressed!” by E.A. Bucchianeri
It was like being inside of a Greek classic. This…astounding discovery…these beings who’d visited Earth during Plato’s time and had made the ancient Greek way their way…was almost unbelievable. Jim might not have believed it, if he weren’t watching his ship’s doctor examine their leader, Parmen.
Finished with his exam, he came over to Jim and Spock, who were talking quietly.
“What do you think, Bones?” Jim asked, eyes moving to the ill man as he mumbled and tossed his head from side to side. He didn’t look well to Jim; his color was ashen and beads of sweat stood out on his face.
“He’s in a bad way. These people have weak immune systems, and it didn’t take much for a simple cut to become infected. He’s well on his way to blood poisoning, and he’s delirious.”
“Can you do anything for him?”
“Yes, I think it’s treatable. I need….”
Parmen shouted something unintelligible, items went flying across the room. Everyone ducked, while his wife tried to soothe him. These “Platonians”, as they wanted to be called, were telekinetic, as well. Bones hurried to him, keeping his head down to avoid flying objects, and injected Parmen with a sedative.
Everyone slowly stood as the telekinetic storm was repressed under the weight of the drug. Jim turned to the doctor. “Go get whatever you need and get back down here immediately.”
Bones nodded, and stood to the side pulling out his communicator. “Enterprise, one to beam up.”
“Will my husband recover?” Philana asked quietly. She sat at Parmen’s side, gently pressing a damp cloth to his brow.
Jim walked over to her, aware that everyone in the room wanted his assurance that their leader would pull through, but equally aware Bones would have his hide if he made promises like that. Pulling up a seat beside her, Jim did his best to project compassion and assurance.
“Doctor McCoy is the most skilled physician I’ve ever known,” he said. “And we’re fortunate to have access to the best medical technology the Federation has to offer. We’ll do everything we can for him.”
“Thank you, Captain,” she said.
“Of course.”
Jim was momentarily distracted by a call from the Enterprise directed to Spock, but he focused his attention back on Philana. They spoke quietly; Jim was insatiably curious about their society and what they observed while living on Earth in Plato’s time, and the Platonians were happy to oblige him, grateful to have such an interested audience.
Jim was not surprised. Their society was thousands of years old, limited, and completely closed. The benefits and drawbacks of such longevity were acutely clear to Jim in that moment.
As Parmen moaned quietly in his sleep, the sound of the Enterprise’s transporter caught everyone’s attention. Bones reappeared with Uhura and Jim stood to meet them, casting a puzzled glance at the young woman.
“Doctor, he’s starting to wake up,” Philana said.
“His color’s gotten worse,” Jim added quietly. Bones nodded tightly and hurried over to them.
“Not to worry, ma’am. I’ll be able to fix him up in short order,” Leonard assured her. “If we could have some privacy…”
“Of course -- ” Philana gestured to two attendants who carried a privacy screen to the where Parmen lay.
“Captain, Lt. Uhura requested permission to beam down to engage is dialect research,” Spock said, explaining her presence.
Jim quirked a smile. “Of course,” he replied. “If our hosts will allow it, maybe we can have someone from Anthro join us.”
Spock nodded, and Uhura moved away to speak with one of the Platonians. Jim and Spock stayed in the area, knowing that Bones wouldn’t be long.
A few minutes later, while they were speaking to Alexander - a Platonian of small stature who described himself as the court jester - Leonard came out from behind the privacy screen and headed over to them.
“He’s going to be fine,” he said. “Fortunately, the bacterial infection is susceptible to one of our more common drugs, and the bone wasn’t at all involved. He’ll be a little weak for a few days, but he should recover completely.”
“I cannot thank you enough,” Philana said as she walked towards them. “I would like to invite you all to a banquet - as a gesture of our thanks and appreciation. And you must stay with us until then. I invite you to observe and learn…we have much knowledge to impart.”
“Thank you,” Jim said, accepting the invitation. “We appreciate this opportunity and your hospitality.”
Philana inclined her head with a small smile and went back to her husband. Jim turned to see Bones, Spock and Uhura looking mildly surprised.
“What? I can be gracious.”
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Jim, Spock, Leonard and Uhura all clapped politely as a few of the Platonians finished a play in the Greek style.
“That was lovely,” Uhura said.
“I am glad you enjoyed it, my dear,” Parmen said. He was reclining on a lounge, and looking much better. “Have you all enjoyed your meal?”
“Everything was delicious,” Jim said. He looked around at his crew. “Thank you for hosting us.”
“It is my pleasure,” Parmen said. “After all, were it not for the good doctor, this might have very well been my funeral feast.”
“Happy to have been able to help,” Leonard said, holding up his drink in recognition.
Jim smiled and turned back to Parmen. “We’ve thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Learning about your society and culture has taught us more about our own beginnings.” He stood, and the others followed suit. “This seems like a good time to take our leave, but with your permission we have others on the ship, scientists called anthropologists, who would appreciate the opportunity to spend some time with you as well.”
Parmen looked at his wife and the members of his court. Alexander, Bones realized, seemed withdrawn all of a sudden.
“No,” Parmen said.
Jim raised his eyebrows in surprise. “No?”
“No - I do not wish you all to leave. It is my desire for the physician to stay.”
A silence fell on the court, and all eyes turned to them - their own little play. Leonard swallowed, but kept quiet, eyes automatically going to Jim. A tenseness had come over Jim - hardly perceptible to anyone who didn’t know him, and after a moment his smile reappeared, though his eyes stayed hard.
“Doctor McCoy is an integral part of my crew, under my command. We will all be leaving.” He took out his communicator, and tried to raise the Enterprise, a cold heaviness forming in his stomach as he kept his eyes on Parmen. The Platonian wore a self-satisfied smirk when Jim realized his communicator was not working.
“Spock,” Jim said tightly. He listened as Spock attempted to contact the ship with no success.
“Captain Kirk, our will is what rules here. Not yours.” He made a small gesture with his hand, and their communicators were wrenched from their grip, tossed aside like trash. “He is staying. I implore you to not fight, as to not upset him. I assure you, he will be treated well.”
That was just too much. “Treated well?” Leonard repeated. “That’s just the most-“
“Bones,” Jim said, cutting him off. “Parmen, you cannot just decide to keep a person. We were happy to help you, and I know Dr. McCoy has set you up with some med supplies, but it is time for us to go, and we will all be leaving together.”
His eyes on Jim, Parmen raised his voice to address the whole court. “The Captain doesn’t quite seem to fully understand the circumstances he now finds himself in.” He paused, eyes narrowing slightly. “Shall I show him?”
Out of the corner of his eye, Jim saw Bones look around uneasily at the encouraging laughter from those gathered around the court. He sought out Philana’s eyes, but she wouldn’t look at him, leading him to believe she wasn’t all on board with this - whatever Parmen was alluding to. But she didn’t try to stop him, either.
Jim drew himself up to his full height, and tried again to talk some sense into the situation. “If you attempt to detain us, Star Fleet-“
A loud slap, the sound of skin on skin, cut him off and startled everyone. Suddenly frozen in place and silenced, McCoy, Uhura and Spock could do nothing but watch as Jim hit his own face repeatedly.
“W-what…stop!” he yelled, his heart pounding in panic that he tried to conceal. He couldn’t control his own limbs. It was so disorienting and just wrong that he couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening.
McCoy could do nothing but watch in horror, willing himself as hard as he could to move, to no avail. It killed him to see Jim being used so flippantly. It seemed to go on forever, but finally, Jim stood still. His chest heaved, and his face was bright red, both from the blows and the humiliation of having all control just taken away from him like that. McCoy still couldn’t speak, which was probably for the best. Nothing that was angrily screaming through his brain would’ve been of any help.
“Do you see now, Captain? What you want does not matter. What I want, however, is law. Now, I tell you again. Dr. McCoy will stay here, and the rest of you may take your leave.”
McCoy’s mind was racing. He was again able to move, and he cast his eyes over Uhura and Spock. She looked horrified and Spock had subtly moved in front of her. He was struck by how illogical that was. As if he could protect her from the whims of this maniac. Nothing could protect any of them, except for him.
“Jim…”
“No.”
“There’s no way--”
“Bones. No.”
Parmen watched their exchange with interest. He couldn’t understand the Captain’s desire to keep the physician with him - even after his demonstration of just how powerless he and his crew actually were. Unless…
“Dr. McCoy is very…special to you, isn’t he?”
Jim’s heart dropped to his stomach, though he fought to keep his expression neutral. He didn’t even allow his eyes to flick to Bones.
“Every member of my crew is important to me,” Jim said tightly.
“And do the members of your crew feel the same about you, I wonder. Let’s find out.”
Jim’s body moved jerkily against his will. He fought so hard he winded himself, sweat gathering at his hairline. His face burned with humiliation as he was put in front of Bones. Their eyes met, anguish and anger burning in those hazel eyes. Jim’s arm raised, and the next thing he knew, his hand cracked against Bones’ face. He didn’t move - couldn’t - so he bore the full force of the hit.
With his back to Parmen, tears sprang to Jim’s eyes.
A florid, red mark bloomed over Bones’ cheek and jaw, and he worked his mouth for a moment before offering Jim a small smile, his heart breaking for him.
“I’m fine,” he said quietly, trying to comfort him.
Jim was moved back to face Parmen, and the murmuring of the crowd filtered back in to his consciousness.
“Now, Captain. To show you that I am a reasonable person, and as an act of good faith, your other crew members may leave.”
Suddenly, Spock and Uhura found that they could move.
“Captain?”
“Spock…get out of here,” Jim said.
Uhura watched Parmen suspiciously as Spock moved to pick up his communicator.
“Spock to the Enterprise…four to beam up.”
Spock and Uhura, to Jim’s relief, appeared to beam up with no problem. Although Spock had tried, he and Bones remained.
Parmen tsked at that, shaking his head.
“I suppose he had to try.”
“Parmen, my people will never allow you to do this.”
“Captain, after everything you still do not understand.” He raised his voice, gesturing to the gathered crowd. “Apparently we have grossly overestimated their puny intelligence!” Parmen smiled while his people laughed.
Come on, Enterprise. Jim thought furiously.
“Your people have no choice,” he continued. “And neither do you. We can make you do anything we want, and you have NO CHOICE!”
Suddenly, Jim was flung to the ground, and he cried out as he cracked his head against the concrete. Every muscle tensed, but Leonard couldn’t get his body to respond. His chest burned with his heaving breaths as he fought with all of his strength, and accomplished nothing.
“So, since you insist on not leaving your precious doctor, you will also stay and entertain us.”
Leonard was forced over to Jim and to straddle his waist, sitting on him with his legs on either side of his body. He felt like his back was breaking as he was bent over his upper body, and leaned on his neck, cutting off his air.
“No, no! Stop!” Leonard yelled, desperately trying to pull back as Jim’s face turned red. “I’ll stay! I’ll stay with you! Stop…..making…..me….do….this!”
The sound of laughter filtered in through the rushing in Jim’s ears. The pressure on his throat made him gasp for air that he just couldn’t get, and his vision started to tunnel as darkness crept in. And over all that were Bones’ increasingly frantic pleas.
And then there was nothing.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Leonard sat heavily by the biobed, listening to the quiet beeps that corresponded to the patient’s vitals. Jim’s.
Again.
Except, this time he was the one to do it to him. All the yelling and threatening and heartstopping moments Jim put him through, and he was the cause of Jim’s current condition.
“It is not your fault, Doctor.”
Leonard looked up from their clasped hands to see Spock standing at the foot of the biobed, hands behind his back.
“I know.”
Spock raised an eyebrow at him, and Leonard sighed. He did know. It just didn’t feel that way. Which was stupid. There was nothing either of them could’ve done.
Leonard watched as Spock’s eyes traveled over the biobed’s monitoring screens.
“The captain will fully recover physically. However…” he paused, and met Leonard’s eyes again. “I am concerned about the emotional repercussions of the experience.”
Leonard wiped a hand over his eyes and sat back in the chair, remembering the absolute helplessness he’d experienced, and being forced to do things against his will. They’d been assaulted - all of them, to some degree. Leonard had known Jim a long time, and he knew that Spock’s concern was not misplaced.
“Me too, Spock,” Leonard said. “But he’ll be okay.” He looked back at him, so unnaturally still and quiet. “We all will.”
Spock observed them silently for a few more moments.
“Please inform me when the captain awakes.”
Leonard nodded, and Spock took his leave. Leonard sat at Jim’s bedside quietly. He held his hand, absently rubbing this thumb over the back, waiting for him to regain consciousness. It was late, he was tired, and the soft lighting of Jim’s private room made it too easy to let his eyes slip closed.
“No no no no no stop stop please don’t…” Jim mumbled, tossing his head back and forth, body reacting to the nightmare he’d lived through mere hours ago.
Leonard woke when he felt Jim pull his hand away, and he stood, gently grasping his shoulders.
“Jim, you’re okay. Wake up. C’mon Darlin’. You’re safe,” Leonard said quietly, but firmly. He gently shook him, wanting him to wake before his bad dread developed into a full blown nightmare.
Jim came awake with a gasp, eyes wide with fear, and he struggled against Bones’ hands for a few moments.
“Hey, hey…Jim…it’s okay. It’s just me…we’re back on the Enterprise and you’re safe. Shh...shh…”
As Jim came more awake, his eyes cleared and he stopped fighting. After another moment, his body relaxed, and the hands that were once trying to push Leonard away were suddenly grasping him, holding him tightly.
“Bones…you’re okay?” Jim asked, his voice raspy, evidence of the trauma he’d experienced.
“Me? Jesus, Jim.” Leonard helped Jim sit up, and they wrapped their arms around each other. Jim let out a shuddering breath against Leonard’s shoulder as he clutched him tightly.
They let go of each other after a few moments, and Jim swung his legs around.
“Jim…”
“Bones, I’m fine,” he said, still hoarse. “There’s nothing wrong with me at all except I could use some water.”
Not bothering to fight him over it, Leonard turned away to get a cup of water, and when he turned back, Jim was sitting hunched over, head resting in his hands.
“Jim,” he said quietly, to get his attention. He held out the cup of water and Jim took it with shaking hands. Leonard watched as he sipped it, and then moved to sit beside him. “How’d we get out?”
Bones sighed. “Spock explained it. Something about using the deflector dish to disrupt the e.m. fields over the compound long enough to get us out and away.”
Jim nodded, and allowed himself to lean against Bones for a moment.
“I should go to the bridge.”
“No fucking way,” Leonard said. “You’re off duty until at least tomorrow. So am I.”
“Well I’m not staying here,” Jim retorted.
“No, you don’t need to stay here, but you need to rest.”
Jim nodded. He wasn’t going to argue about that.
“You need it, too. Let’s go,” Jim said, settling his feet down. He looked down at himself - the standard issue patient gown came only to his mid-thigh - and sighed. “Where are my clothes?”
“I’ll get you a robe.”
It was the middle of the gamma shift, so the halls were quiet as they made their way to their shared quarters. They walked without talking, shoulders brushing, fingers linking at their sides.
Exhausted, emotionally drained, still reeling from everything they’d experienced, they didn’t even really talk as they both undressed, letting their clothes stay where they fell. Climbing into bed, they settled down together and Bones pulled the blanket up over them. They held each other, and Jim’s eyes filled with tears as he lightly drew his fingertips down Bones’ face.
“I’m so sorry they made me hurt you,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I couldn’t stop them. I tried…but I had no control.” Bones shook his head, reaching up to grasp his hand and bringing it to his lips.
“You don’t have anything to apologize for. I nearly killed you…”
“No, you didn’t, Bones,” Jim said forcefully. “It wasn’t you. It was them. I should’ve -- ”
“Just like it wasn’t you,” Bones said quietly, cutting him off. “There’s nothing you could do. It wasn’t your fault. Everyone - everyone - knows that.”
Jim was quiet after that, his faced pressed to Bones’ shoulder. He could feel the deep breaths Jim was taking, feel the emotion in his breathing, hear it in the catch in his chest, feel the heat from his face as he flushed in shame that shouldn’t have been his to bear. Sighing, Leonard cupped his head and held him tenderly, giving him the time and silent support to process everything he was feeling.
And Leonard had known this was coming, this storm of emotion; a reaction to the fear and humiliation of the powerlessness and the sense of violation of having been used in such a way. And Leonard knew Jim well enough to know that it wasn’t even for himself that he hurt the most…that it was for the way he’d been used and forced to hurt the person he loved the most. And to have Leonard, Spock and Uhura see him like that…completely defenseless and helpless to stop what was happening or to save them…it shook him to his core.
Leonard understood, as only someone who’d experienced what had happened could. His body had been used to try to kill Jim. His heart and mind rebelled against the memory of that, and tears of his own welled in his eyes.
“I don’t know how to handle this,” Jim whispered finally. “I don’t know how to live with knowing how easily…it - it was like being that kid again…having no control over what was happening to my body.” Jim shuddered. “It…it was awful.”
“It was a violation of our autonomy - of our self,” Leonard said quietly, acknowledging the trauma they were both experiencing…Jim to a different degree. He’d experienced such a personal violation before. Leonard had not. “But none of it was our fault. And we have to find a way to…let go.”
Jim sighed deeply, and raised his head to look into Leonard’s eyes. “How do we do that Bones?” he asked, an almost pleading tone in his voice.
Leonard shrugged slightly, giving Jim a small smile. “Maybe by anchoring ourselves in all the good. For me, that’s you. There’s nothing better than you in my life. Even if you do drive me crazy.”
Jim blinked and tears that had been caught in his lashes slipped down his cheeks. Leonard gently wiped them away with his fingers, then curled his hand around Jim’s, the sweet gesture bringing some light back to his blue eyes. Jim tipped his head back slightly and gently kissed him, wrapping an arm around Leonard and holding on…anchoring himself. Jim knew that it would take some time, but Bones was right.
“I can do that,” Jim whispered.
And holding on to each other, theywere able to let go.
.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Allusion to past abuse
W/C: 3,565
Summary/Notes: This story is inspired by/is a rewrite of the TOS episode “Plato’s Stepchildren”, done at the request of romanse1, who waited WAY too long for this. I really hope you like it! (The title is from the quotation “…how terrible is the pain of the mind and heart when the freedom of mankind is suppressed!” by E.A. Bucchianeri
It was like being inside of a Greek classic. This…astounding discovery…these beings who’d visited Earth during Plato’s time and had made the ancient Greek way their way…was almost unbelievable. Jim might not have believed it, if he weren’t watching his ship’s doctor examine their leader, Parmen.
Finished with his exam, he came over to Jim and Spock, who were talking quietly.
“What do you think, Bones?” Jim asked, eyes moving to the ill man as he mumbled and tossed his head from side to side. He didn’t look well to Jim; his color was ashen and beads of sweat stood out on his face.
“He’s in a bad way. These people have weak immune systems, and it didn’t take much for a simple cut to become infected. He’s well on his way to blood poisoning, and he’s delirious.”
“Can you do anything for him?”
“Yes, I think it’s treatable. I need….”
Parmen shouted something unintelligible, items went flying across the room. Everyone ducked, while his wife tried to soothe him. These “Platonians”, as they wanted to be called, were telekinetic, as well. Bones hurried to him, keeping his head down to avoid flying objects, and injected Parmen with a sedative.
Everyone slowly stood as the telekinetic storm was repressed under the weight of the drug. Jim turned to the doctor. “Go get whatever you need and get back down here immediately.”
Bones nodded, and stood to the side pulling out his communicator. “Enterprise, one to beam up.”
“Will my husband recover?” Philana asked quietly. She sat at Parmen’s side, gently pressing a damp cloth to his brow.
Jim walked over to her, aware that everyone in the room wanted his assurance that their leader would pull through, but equally aware Bones would have his hide if he made promises like that. Pulling up a seat beside her, Jim did his best to project compassion and assurance.
“Doctor McCoy is the most skilled physician I’ve ever known,” he said. “And we’re fortunate to have access to the best medical technology the Federation has to offer. We’ll do everything we can for him.”
“Thank you, Captain,” she said.
“Of course.”
Jim was momentarily distracted by a call from the Enterprise directed to Spock, but he focused his attention back on Philana. They spoke quietly; Jim was insatiably curious about their society and what they observed while living on Earth in Plato’s time, and the Platonians were happy to oblige him, grateful to have such an interested audience.
Jim was not surprised. Their society was thousands of years old, limited, and completely closed. The benefits and drawbacks of such longevity were acutely clear to Jim in that moment.
As Parmen moaned quietly in his sleep, the sound of the Enterprise’s transporter caught everyone’s attention. Bones reappeared with Uhura and Jim stood to meet them, casting a puzzled glance at the young woman.
“Doctor, he’s starting to wake up,” Philana said.
“His color’s gotten worse,” Jim added quietly. Bones nodded tightly and hurried over to them.
“Not to worry, ma’am. I’ll be able to fix him up in short order,” Leonard assured her. “If we could have some privacy…”
“Of course -- ” Philana gestured to two attendants who carried a privacy screen to the where Parmen lay.
“Captain, Lt. Uhura requested permission to beam down to engage is dialect research,” Spock said, explaining her presence.
Jim quirked a smile. “Of course,” he replied. “If our hosts will allow it, maybe we can have someone from Anthro join us.”
Spock nodded, and Uhura moved away to speak with one of the Platonians. Jim and Spock stayed in the area, knowing that Bones wouldn’t be long.
A few minutes later, while they were speaking to Alexander - a Platonian of small stature who described himself as the court jester - Leonard came out from behind the privacy screen and headed over to them.
“He’s going to be fine,” he said. “Fortunately, the bacterial infection is susceptible to one of our more common drugs, and the bone wasn’t at all involved. He’ll be a little weak for a few days, but he should recover completely.”
“I cannot thank you enough,” Philana said as she walked towards them. “I would like to invite you all to a banquet - as a gesture of our thanks and appreciation. And you must stay with us until then. I invite you to observe and learn…we have much knowledge to impart.”
“Thank you,” Jim said, accepting the invitation. “We appreciate this opportunity and your hospitality.”
Philana inclined her head with a small smile and went back to her husband. Jim turned to see Bones, Spock and Uhura looking mildly surprised.
“What? I can be gracious.”
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Jim, Spock, Leonard and Uhura all clapped politely as a few of the Platonians finished a play in the Greek style.
“That was lovely,” Uhura said.
“I am glad you enjoyed it, my dear,” Parmen said. He was reclining on a lounge, and looking much better. “Have you all enjoyed your meal?”
“Everything was delicious,” Jim said. He looked around at his crew. “Thank you for hosting us.”
“It is my pleasure,” Parmen said. “After all, were it not for the good doctor, this might have very well been my funeral feast.”
“Happy to have been able to help,” Leonard said, holding up his drink in recognition.
Jim smiled and turned back to Parmen. “We’ve thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Learning about your society and culture has taught us more about our own beginnings.” He stood, and the others followed suit. “This seems like a good time to take our leave, but with your permission we have others on the ship, scientists called anthropologists, who would appreciate the opportunity to spend some time with you as well.”
Parmen looked at his wife and the members of his court. Alexander, Bones realized, seemed withdrawn all of a sudden.
“No,” Parmen said.
Jim raised his eyebrows in surprise. “No?”
“No - I do not wish you all to leave. It is my desire for the physician to stay.”
A silence fell on the court, and all eyes turned to them - their own little play. Leonard swallowed, but kept quiet, eyes automatically going to Jim. A tenseness had come over Jim - hardly perceptible to anyone who didn’t know him, and after a moment his smile reappeared, though his eyes stayed hard.
“Doctor McCoy is an integral part of my crew, under my command. We will all be leaving.” He took out his communicator, and tried to raise the Enterprise, a cold heaviness forming in his stomach as he kept his eyes on Parmen. The Platonian wore a self-satisfied smirk when Jim realized his communicator was not working.
“Spock,” Jim said tightly. He listened as Spock attempted to contact the ship with no success.
“Captain Kirk, our will is what rules here. Not yours.” He made a small gesture with his hand, and their communicators were wrenched from their grip, tossed aside like trash. “He is staying. I implore you to not fight, as to not upset him. I assure you, he will be treated well.”
That was just too much. “Treated well?” Leonard repeated. “That’s just the most-“
“Bones,” Jim said, cutting him off. “Parmen, you cannot just decide to keep a person. We were happy to help you, and I know Dr. McCoy has set you up with some med supplies, but it is time for us to go, and we will all be leaving together.”
His eyes on Jim, Parmen raised his voice to address the whole court. “The Captain doesn’t quite seem to fully understand the circumstances he now finds himself in.” He paused, eyes narrowing slightly. “Shall I show him?”
Out of the corner of his eye, Jim saw Bones look around uneasily at the encouraging laughter from those gathered around the court. He sought out Philana’s eyes, but she wouldn’t look at him, leading him to believe she wasn’t all on board with this - whatever Parmen was alluding to. But she didn’t try to stop him, either.
Jim drew himself up to his full height, and tried again to talk some sense into the situation. “If you attempt to detain us, Star Fleet-“
A loud slap, the sound of skin on skin, cut him off and startled everyone. Suddenly frozen in place and silenced, McCoy, Uhura and Spock could do nothing but watch as Jim hit his own face repeatedly.
“W-what…stop!” he yelled, his heart pounding in panic that he tried to conceal. He couldn’t control his own limbs. It was so disorienting and just wrong that he couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening.
McCoy could do nothing but watch in horror, willing himself as hard as he could to move, to no avail. It killed him to see Jim being used so flippantly. It seemed to go on forever, but finally, Jim stood still. His chest heaved, and his face was bright red, both from the blows and the humiliation of having all control just taken away from him like that. McCoy still couldn’t speak, which was probably for the best. Nothing that was angrily screaming through his brain would’ve been of any help.
“Do you see now, Captain? What you want does not matter. What I want, however, is law. Now, I tell you again. Dr. McCoy will stay here, and the rest of you may take your leave.”
McCoy’s mind was racing. He was again able to move, and he cast his eyes over Uhura and Spock. She looked horrified and Spock had subtly moved in front of her. He was struck by how illogical that was. As if he could protect her from the whims of this maniac. Nothing could protect any of them, except for him.
“Jim…”
“No.”
“There’s no way--”
“Bones. No.”
Parmen watched their exchange with interest. He couldn’t understand the Captain’s desire to keep the physician with him - even after his demonstration of just how powerless he and his crew actually were. Unless…
“Dr. McCoy is very…special to you, isn’t he?”
Jim’s heart dropped to his stomach, though he fought to keep his expression neutral. He didn’t even allow his eyes to flick to Bones.
“Every member of my crew is important to me,” Jim said tightly.
“And do the members of your crew feel the same about you, I wonder. Let’s find out.”
Jim’s body moved jerkily against his will. He fought so hard he winded himself, sweat gathering at his hairline. His face burned with humiliation as he was put in front of Bones. Their eyes met, anguish and anger burning in those hazel eyes. Jim’s arm raised, and the next thing he knew, his hand cracked against Bones’ face. He didn’t move - couldn’t - so he bore the full force of the hit.
With his back to Parmen, tears sprang to Jim’s eyes.
A florid, red mark bloomed over Bones’ cheek and jaw, and he worked his mouth for a moment before offering Jim a small smile, his heart breaking for him.
“I’m fine,” he said quietly, trying to comfort him.
Jim was moved back to face Parmen, and the murmuring of the crowd filtered back in to his consciousness.
“Now, Captain. To show you that I am a reasonable person, and as an act of good faith, your other crew members may leave.”
Suddenly, Spock and Uhura found that they could move.
“Captain?”
“Spock…get out of here,” Jim said.
Uhura watched Parmen suspiciously as Spock moved to pick up his communicator.
“Spock to the Enterprise…four to beam up.”
Spock and Uhura, to Jim’s relief, appeared to beam up with no problem. Although Spock had tried, he and Bones remained.
Parmen tsked at that, shaking his head.
“I suppose he had to try.”
“Parmen, my people will never allow you to do this.”
“Captain, after everything you still do not understand.” He raised his voice, gesturing to the gathered crowd. “Apparently we have grossly overestimated their puny intelligence!” Parmen smiled while his people laughed.
Come on, Enterprise. Jim thought furiously.
“Your people have no choice,” he continued. “And neither do you. We can make you do anything we want, and you have NO CHOICE!”
Suddenly, Jim was flung to the ground, and he cried out as he cracked his head against the concrete. Every muscle tensed, but Leonard couldn’t get his body to respond. His chest burned with his heaving breaths as he fought with all of his strength, and accomplished nothing.
“So, since you insist on not leaving your precious doctor, you will also stay and entertain us.”
Leonard was forced over to Jim and to straddle his waist, sitting on him with his legs on either side of his body. He felt like his back was breaking as he was bent over his upper body, and leaned on his neck, cutting off his air.
“No, no! Stop!” Leonard yelled, desperately trying to pull back as Jim’s face turned red. “I’ll stay! I’ll stay with you! Stop…..making…..me….do….this!”
The sound of laughter filtered in through the rushing in Jim’s ears. The pressure on his throat made him gasp for air that he just couldn’t get, and his vision started to tunnel as darkness crept in. And over all that were Bones’ increasingly frantic pleas.
And then there was nothing.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Leonard sat heavily by the biobed, listening to the quiet beeps that corresponded to the patient’s vitals. Jim’s.
Again.
Except, this time he was the one to do it to him. All the yelling and threatening and heartstopping moments Jim put him through, and he was the cause of Jim’s current condition.
“It is not your fault, Doctor.”
Leonard looked up from their clasped hands to see Spock standing at the foot of the biobed, hands behind his back.
“I know.”
Spock raised an eyebrow at him, and Leonard sighed. He did know. It just didn’t feel that way. Which was stupid. There was nothing either of them could’ve done.
Leonard watched as Spock’s eyes traveled over the biobed’s monitoring screens.
“The captain will fully recover physically. However…” he paused, and met Leonard’s eyes again. “I am concerned about the emotional repercussions of the experience.”
Leonard wiped a hand over his eyes and sat back in the chair, remembering the absolute helplessness he’d experienced, and being forced to do things against his will. They’d been assaulted - all of them, to some degree. Leonard had known Jim a long time, and he knew that Spock’s concern was not misplaced.
“Me too, Spock,” Leonard said. “But he’ll be okay.” He looked back at him, so unnaturally still and quiet. “We all will.”
Spock observed them silently for a few more moments.
“Please inform me when the captain awakes.”
Leonard nodded, and Spock took his leave. Leonard sat at Jim’s bedside quietly. He held his hand, absently rubbing this thumb over the back, waiting for him to regain consciousness. It was late, he was tired, and the soft lighting of Jim’s private room made it too easy to let his eyes slip closed.
“No no no no no stop stop please don’t…” Jim mumbled, tossing his head back and forth, body reacting to the nightmare he’d lived through mere hours ago.
Leonard woke when he felt Jim pull his hand away, and he stood, gently grasping his shoulders.
“Jim, you’re okay. Wake up. C’mon Darlin’. You’re safe,” Leonard said quietly, but firmly. He gently shook him, wanting him to wake before his bad dread developed into a full blown nightmare.
Jim came awake with a gasp, eyes wide with fear, and he struggled against Bones’ hands for a few moments.
“Hey, hey…Jim…it’s okay. It’s just me…we’re back on the Enterprise and you’re safe. Shh...shh…”
As Jim came more awake, his eyes cleared and he stopped fighting. After another moment, his body relaxed, and the hands that were once trying to push Leonard away were suddenly grasping him, holding him tightly.
“Bones…you’re okay?” Jim asked, his voice raspy, evidence of the trauma he’d experienced.
“Me? Jesus, Jim.” Leonard helped Jim sit up, and they wrapped their arms around each other. Jim let out a shuddering breath against Leonard’s shoulder as he clutched him tightly.
They let go of each other after a few moments, and Jim swung his legs around.
“Jim…”
“Bones, I’m fine,” he said, still hoarse. “There’s nothing wrong with me at all except I could use some water.”
Not bothering to fight him over it, Leonard turned away to get a cup of water, and when he turned back, Jim was sitting hunched over, head resting in his hands.
“Jim,” he said quietly, to get his attention. He held out the cup of water and Jim took it with shaking hands. Leonard watched as he sipped it, and then moved to sit beside him. “How’d we get out?”
Bones sighed. “Spock explained it. Something about using the deflector dish to disrupt the e.m. fields over the compound long enough to get us out and away.”
Jim nodded, and allowed himself to lean against Bones for a moment.
“I should go to the bridge.”
“No fucking way,” Leonard said. “You’re off duty until at least tomorrow. So am I.”
“Well I’m not staying here,” Jim retorted.
“No, you don’t need to stay here, but you need to rest.”
Jim nodded. He wasn’t going to argue about that.
“You need it, too. Let’s go,” Jim said, settling his feet down. He looked down at himself - the standard issue patient gown came only to his mid-thigh - and sighed. “Where are my clothes?”
“I’ll get you a robe.”
It was the middle of the gamma shift, so the halls were quiet as they made their way to their shared quarters. They walked without talking, shoulders brushing, fingers linking at their sides.
Exhausted, emotionally drained, still reeling from everything they’d experienced, they didn’t even really talk as they both undressed, letting their clothes stay where they fell. Climbing into bed, they settled down together and Bones pulled the blanket up over them. They held each other, and Jim’s eyes filled with tears as he lightly drew his fingertips down Bones’ face.
“I’m so sorry they made me hurt you,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I couldn’t stop them. I tried…but I had no control.” Bones shook his head, reaching up to grasp his hand and bringing it to his lips.
“You don’t have anything to apologize for. I nearly killed you…”
“No, you didn’t, Bones,” Jim said forcefully. “It wasn’t you. It was them. I should’ve -- ”
“Just like it wasn’t you,” Bones said quietly, cutting him off. “There’s nothing you could do. It wasn’t your fault. Everyone - everyone - knows that.”
Jim was quiet after that, his faced pressed to Bones’ shoulder. He could feel the deep breaths Jim was taking, feel the emotion in his breathing, hear it in the catch in his chest, feel the heat from his face as he flushed in shame that shouldn’t have been his to bear. Sighing, Leonard cupped his head and held him tenderly, giving him the time and silent support to process everything he was feeling.
And Leonard had known this was coming, this storm of emotion; a reaction to the fear and humiliation of the powerlessness and the sense of violation of having been used in such a way. And Leonard knew Jim well enough to know that it wasn’t even for himself that he hurt the most…that it was for the way he’d been used and forced to hurt the person he loved the most. And to have Leonard, Spock and Uhura see him like that…completely defenseless and helpless to stop what was happening or to save them…it shook him to his core.
Leonard understood, as only someone who’d experienced what had happened could. His body had been used to try to kill Jim. His heart and mind rebelled against the memory of that, and tears of his own welled in his eyes.
“I don’t know how to handle this,” Jim whispered finally. “I don’t know how to live with knowing how easily…it - it was like being that kid again…having no control over what was happening to my body.” Jim shuddered. “It…it was awful.”
“It was a violation of our autonomy - of our self,” Leonard said quietly, acknowledging the trauma they were both experiencing…Jim to a different degree. He’d experienced such a personal violation before. Leonard had not. “But none of it was our fault. And we have to find a way to…let go.”
Jim sighed deeply, and raised his head to look into Leonard’s eyes. “How do we do that Bones?” he asked, an almost pleading tone in his voice.
Leonard shrugged slightly, giving Jim a small smile. “Maybe by anchoring ourselves in all the good. For me, that’s you. There’s nothing better than you in my life. Even if you do drive me crazy.”
Jim blinked and tears that had been caught in his lashes slipped down his cheeks. Leonard gently wiped them away with his fingers, then curled his hand around Jim’s, the sweet gesture bringing some light back to his blue eyes. Jim tipped his head back slightly and gently kissed him, wrapping an arm around Leonard and holding on…anchoring himself. Jim knew that it would take some time, but Bones was right.
“I can do that,” Jim whispered.
And holding on to each other, theywere able to let go.
.