Sequel to: Meeting Again, for the First Time
Title: Meeting Again, for the First Time, Part 2
Author: Caera1996
Rating for this Part: G
W/C: 3,107
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: A lot of time has passed since that cold night in Riverside, but not much has changed for Jim. And Leonard realizes that Jim needs his help, again.
Meeting Again, for the First Time, Part 1
.
Leonard jerked awake when sudden, sharp movement registered, interrupting his sleep. Gasping in surprise at being catapulted out of sleep so inexplicably, he rubbed his eyes and peered into the darkness.
The outline of a hunched figure was sitting on the edge of his bed.
Not relieved, but not terrified either, Leonard pulled his legs to himself and kicked off the blankets.
“Jim?” he said, voice hoarse with exhaustion. Grimacing, he reached blindly for the glass of water he’d left by his bed. He needed more sleep. But that wasn’t going to be possible right now. Pulling on reserves he wasn’t sure he even still had, he pushed himself into a sitting position. “Jim?” he said again, voice clearer now.
No answer.
His heart rate picked up again, but not out of fear for himself.
“Lights,” he said, then winced. He adjusted them down, and was finally able to get a good look at the person sitting on the end of his bed…and his heart sank.
“Oh, Jim…” he murmured. He slid out of bed and crouched in front of him, hands on Jim’s knees. His head was down, shoulders hunched, and he avoided Leonard’s eyes. “Did you lock the door when you came in?”
A slight nod. “Yeah.”
Leonard frowned. His voice was too raspy to be normal.
“Jim…”
“Bones…just…please…” Jim whispered. He leaned forward a bit, bringing his head in contact with Leonard’s shoulder, leaning on him.
Leonard sighed, then gave in. This is what Jim needed now. Not another lecture. Not concerned pleading. Not arguing over what he should do. Just someone to lean on.
He could be that. He would be that. They’d deal with the rest of it tomorrow.
Carefully, he threaded his fingers through the blonde hair, the touch meant to soothe as much as it was meant to examine. He didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary - no sticky hair, no bumps - and that made him relax a bit more. He slipped a hand down to the back of Jim’s neck, gently massaging the tense muscles and tendons he felt there.
“Okay, Jim. Okay. Just…are you badly hurt? Your body, your face, or your hands?” He had to know. He hoped not…but he had to know for sure.
It was a second before Jim answered. “No…I’m okay. I just need to clean up a little.”
Leonard squeezed his eyes closed, physically forcing down everything he was desperate to say. It wouldn’t help. Not right now. Instead he just gently patted Jim’s shoulder.
“Go on in to the bathroom. I’ll bring you some clothes.”
His face hidden in shadows, forehead still resting on the broad shoulder that was always there for him…since he was fifteen, there for him…Jim closed his stinging eyes, blinking tears, and swallowed hard around the ache in his throat. Grasping Leonard’s arms, Jim gave them a brief squeeze - communicating the gratefulness he felt that he just couldn’t voice - and quickly stood, making it across the small room to the bathroom in just a couple of strides, being careful to keep his back to Bones. In the doorway, he braced a hand against the frame, waiting for a wave of dizziness to pass, then stepped all the way in, closing (but not locking) the door behind him.
Leonard watched him go, levering himself up to sit on the bed, elbows on his knees as he rubbed his eyes with a deep sigh.
This was maddening. For so many reasons.
That Jim would put up with being with someone who treated him so badly. That he would stay, even after an episode like this. That he would be willing to give that asshole another chance to hurt him again. That he would walk out of this dorm room, either blind to, or choosing not to see, how much it broke Leonard’s heart every damn time.
It was equally incomprehensible and predictable. And though it wasn’t the first time, Leonard was determined to help Jim make it the last.
When he heard the water in the shower turn on, Leonard went to his computer terminal and activated it. Tomorrow Jim didn’t have any sessions or classes to attend to, so that was something anyway. It was Saturday, though, and he was supposed to work at SF Medical. Without even sparing a thought to worry about it, he sent a communique to his superior informing him that he was ill and would not be able to work his shift. He copied one of his associates - who owed him this same kind of favor - and asked if he would fill in. There would be repercussions for this, but it was worth it. Jim was worth it.
That done, he collected some clothes for Jim and let himself into the bathroom.
Jim jumped slightly when he heard the bathroom door open, but steadied himself quickly with a hand on the wall.
“Clothes for you,” Leonard said.
“Thanks.”
Leonard pulled out his personal medkit and balanced it on the edge of the sink, then left to get a cup of water.
Under the cover of the spray, Jim sighed. He knew that Leonard was waiting for him to come out so he could get a good look at the damage and fix him up. And it wasn’t that Jim wasn’t grateful , but he couldn’t handle that now. He couldn’t handle seeing the pity or the hurt…or the disappointment.
On the other hand, he didn’t have any energy to fight. All he wanted to do was sleep. So he’d let Leonard do whatever he wanted, and then they’d go to bed, and Jim could sleep and forget this ever happened. He could wake before Leonard, leave a quick thank you note, and go back to his own dorm.
…And then, later, Nick would comm him, apologize, remind Jim that he hadn’t been innocent in all of this, and that they belonged together. That Jim deserved someone who cared enough to fight because of him. And Jim…well, he’d see the truth in it. That Nick hadn’t been the only one arguing. That Jim had pushed until he snapped, that Nick always came back for him, no matter how much Jim pissed him off. That Jim deserved some of what Nick did, and that it wasn’t that bad, really.
And his heart hurt with the knowledge that maybe this was all he’d ever be worth. The same doctor who fixed him up when he was fifteen and broken would do the same now, but all he’d ever be worth was half the blame for needing to be fixed up in the first place. Just like then. Amazing how little had changed between then and now.
“Jim?” Bones quiet voice cut through the sound of the water, and Jim shook himself out of it. He turned off the water and pushed his hair back.
“Coming. Is there a towel?”
Leonard pushed the curtain aside enough to hand Jim a towel, letting him have his privacy. “I’ll be out there. I have water and a pain tablet for you on the sink. Take it.”
“Okay.”
Leaving the door open slightly, Leonard made some tea with honey for both of them. Jim would refuse, probably, but it would help his throat. Just as he was bringing the two mugs over to the little table, Jim exited the bathroom. Dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants that were a little too big for him, he looked especially young, and Leonard swallowed against the memory.
“Come sit, Jim. Just for a minute. Have some tea.”
Quietly, and without any of the pushback he’d expected, Jim did as Leonard asked. His shoulders hunched and he seemed to huddle over the warmth of the hot tea. Leonard watched as he took a sip and winced as he swallowed.
“Let me see,” Leonard said, pulling the other chair close to Jim and sitting face to face with him, the medkit open on the table between them. Jim kept his head down, and his eyes averted. “Jim, please.”
With a sigh, Jim gave in and tipped his head up, and Leonard got a good look for the first time. Jim was watching him, so he didn’t react at what he saw…the abrasion on his cheekbone, the bruising that was just starting to show above his eye and on that temple, the lip that looked like it’d been bitten, or, worst of all, the redness around his neck that would account for his hoarse voice.
Without a word, Leonard gently cleaned the damaged areas and put topical biocream on the open wounds, but that was it.
“You’re not going to use the regen?” Jim finally asked.
“No, not this time,” Leonard replied quietly. “Can you stand?”
Jim got to his feet as asked, and Leonard ran his hands around his torso, checking for sore spots and other injuries.
“I’m okay, Bones,” Jim said. “It wasn’t bad.”
“Don’t lie to me!” Leonard snapped. Jim flinched, and Leonard sat back with a sigh. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m not angry with you. But Jim, it looks like he had his hand around your throat. Don’t tell me it wasn’t bad.”
Jim’s hands clenched at his sides, and he stood silently. There was nothing else to say. Leonard was right. Jim knew it. That was it.
Finally, Leonard stood. He looked the younger man in the eyes until Jim was the one to look away. Leonard sighed and put his hands on Jim’s shoulders, then pulled him in. He was stiff at first, but Leonard persisted, and Jim slowly relaxed until his head was resting on Leonard’s shoulder, his arms coming up around Leonard’s waist.
After a couple of moments they both let go and pulled away from each other.
“C’mon, Jim. You must be exhausted, and I know I am. Bed.”
Jim nodded, eyes immediately going to the small couch.
“No…” Leonard said. “Bed.”
Jim looked a little puzzled, but allowed himself to be led to the bed. Leonard pulled a second pillow from the closet and handed it to him, then took a second to straighten the blankets. He lay down, moving in towards the wall so Jim could have the easy way out.
Still unsure about the situation, Jim remained standing by the bed.
“If you’d prefer the couch, you’re welcome to it,” Leonard finally said. “The blanket is there for that reason. But I’d prefer having you here, with me. And I think you’d prefer it, too.”
“For…” Jim said, unable to completely shake the long-learned suspicion.
“For sleeping, Jim. I want you here because I care about you. I want you here because I think you need to be close to someone who cares about you. And you haven’t. For too long.”
Jim hesitated for another moment, but in the end slipped into the bed beside Leonard with a grateful sigh. He was right. Jim did prefer to be with someone who cared about him right now. Leonard commanded the lights down, and turned on his side, looking at Jim’s profile as he lay on his back.
There was so much he wanted to say, but he just didn’t know if Jim was ready to hear it.
After a couple of moments of silence, of listening to each other breathe, Jim turned on his side, too, towards Leonard. Drawn by the comfort of trust, and because Jim knew Bones cared so much for him, he allowed it when Bones put an arm over his shoulders and pulled him in. He didn’t even bother to pretend he didn’t want to be held like that. He craved it, even. It’s just…not what he ever got. Not without strings, anyway. But Bones was different…he’d shown Jim, from the very beginning
But he couldn’t let himself get used to it…he knew he could never have Bones in his life the way he imagined. Bones didn’t even know who he really was. Jim knew he didn’t deserve him, anyway.
He took a deep breath that shuddered in his chest, and Leonard rubbed his back.
“Shhh. Jim, this can’t go on. We need to do something about it.”
“We?” Jim repeated.
“Of course, we,” Leonard replied. Then, “I want to help you, but you can’t go back to him again. Will you let me help you?”
Jim felt completely defeated. There was no fight in him anymore. Not when it came to this.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “But what? It’s not like I can just avoid him.”
In the darkness, Leonard frowned. That was true. Nick was a civilian, but he worked on campus. That could actually be helpful. He had a plan about what he wanted to do in his head, but they were both exhausted.
“It’s okay,” Leonard said, rubbing his back again. “Let’s sleep now. We’ll talk about it more tomorrow.”
“Don’t you have to work?” Jim asked.
“Not any more. I called out.”
“You called out? Because of me? Bones, I’m…”
“Jim…I called out for you. And don’t worry about it. You’re worth it.”
With those words settling in Jim’s heart, he finally drifted off to sleep. And laying in Bones’ bed, the weight of his arm comforting and safe around his shoulders, Jim slept deeply.
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Waking slowly, the smell of breakfast penetrated his sleeping brain. He turned his head against the pillow, and pain woke him further. His face…especially around his eye and cheek and lip…felt very tender.
“Ow,” he murmured, blinking his eyes open.
“Mornin’ Jim…you okay?”
And in that second, everything came rushing back in.
Fuck.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Sore.” Jim swallowed and his eyes watered. “My throat is sore.”
He pushed himself up, and gently felt his face with his fingertips.
Leonard looked up from the coffee he was making, the ”I’ll bet” dying on his lips when he got a good look at Jim’s face. He hadn’t used the regen on Jim on purpose, and the bruising on his face and neck were even more noticeable than he’d thought it would be.
“Do you need a pain tablet?” he asked instead.
“No,” Jim replied, shaking his head. “I’m fine. Just gonna use the bathroom.”
He avoided looking in the mirror as he washed his hands, keeping his head down. He didn’t need to see to remind him of the damage Nick had done last night.
Leonard had two cups of coffee and then two plates of eggs, toast and bacon waiting for him on the little table where he sat with his padd. He looked up when the door opened, and he tipped his head towards the empty chair, silently asking Jim to join him.
“Thanks for this,” Jim said as he sat. At first he wasn’t sure he was hungry, but he hadn’t had anything to eat since yesterday afternoon, and when the smell of the breakfast and coffee hit him, his stomach growled.
They ate silently, each wondering about the next steps. Leonard knew what he wanted to do. He hoped that Jim would agree.
“Bones…thanks for…all this,” Jim said quietly. “For, well, everything.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Jim. I - I care about you. I don’t want you hurt. Nick is a violent asshole, and you deserve so, so much better than that. I just…” he stopped, shaking his head, and Jim looked up at him from fiddling with his fork. Leonard took a breath and met Jim’s eyes. “I just don’t understand why. Why Jim? Why would you stay with someone who hurts you like this? Especially when I’m--” he cut himself off. Especially when I’m right here?
Jim snorted, standing and crossing his arms over his chest defensively. He went to stand at the window, the rest of the room behind him. “How can you say you care about me? You don’t even really know me,” he said lowly.
“Jim…” Leonard said slowly. “Of course I know you.”
Despondent, feeling alone in a way that was familiar and sad, Jim just shook his head, closing his eyes.
Making a decision, Leonard stood and came up behind Jim. Gentle pressure on his shoulders got him to turn around, though he kept his eyes averted and his arms crossed.
“Jim…” Leonard gently worked his left hand free, urging the fingers to unclench. Jim’s eyes flicked up to meet his, and Leonard held his gaze as his fingers traced the nearly-invisible line of the old injury that brought them together that first time, so long ago now. “I know exactly who you are.”
Jim’s eyes widened, and it was a moment before he could even take a breath.
“You do remember,” he said quietly.
“Of course I do.”
“How long? Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
Leonard shrugged. “I never said anything because I wasn’t sure if you remembered. As for how long…not on the shuttle. I was too…unfocused.” Jim snorted and Leonard smiled a little. They both knew that was a huge understatement. “But after, when you let me tend to the results of that bar fight…you had the same look as you did when you were fifteen. Like you didn’t understand why I wanted to help you. The memory just came flooding back, and I knew it was you. Also, I checked your jacket.”
Jim nodded, looking away again. Leonard ducked his head a little, trying to catch his eyes. “You obviously remembered…how long did you know?”
Jim smiled a little. “Oh, the second you sat down and started ranting at me.” His smile faded and he licked his lips nervously, wincing at the injury still there. “I’m sorry I just left that night. I just…didn’t want to take any chances.”
“I thought about you almost every day for years after that,” Leonard admitted. “I kept hoping you’d comm me, though I didn’t think you would.”
“I’m sorry,” Jim said again. “I…”
“Jim, none of that matters today. You’re not that child any more, and I’m not that same doctor. We’ve both lived a lifetime between then and now. And yes, I care about you. And I want you to realize you’re worth so much more than Nick,” he spit the name out as if it tasted bad. “You’re worth so much more to me. So let’s get Nick out of your life, okay?”
“And what about all the rest?” Jim asked. “What about you and me?”
“Neither of us are going anywhere this time. We’ll figure it out together, okay?”
And feeling more hopeful than he had since that cold night in Riverside, Jim leaned into Bones as he brought his arms up around him in a tender hug. “Okay,” Jim said. No more running.
.
Author: Caera1996
Rating for this Part: G
W/C: 3,107
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: A lot of time has passed since that cold night in Riverside, but not much has changed for Jim. And Leonard realizes that Jim needs his help, again.
Meeting Again, for the First Time, Part 1
.
Leonard jerked awake when sudden, sharp movement registered, interrupting his sleep. Gasping in surprise at being catapulted out of sleep so inexplicably, he rubbed his eyes and peered into the darkness.
The outline of a hunched figure was sitting on the edge of his bed.
Not relieved, but not terrified either, Leonard pulled his legs to himself and kicked off the blankets.
“Jim?” he said, voice hoarse with exhaustion. Grimacing, he reached blindly for the glass of water he’d left by his bed. He needed more sleep. But that wasn’t going to be possible right now. Pulling on reserves he wasn’t sure he even still had, he pushed himself into a sitting position. “Jim?” he said again, voice clearer now.
No answer.
His heart rate picked up again, but not out of fear for himself.
“Lights,” he said, then winced. He adjusted them down, and was finally able to get a good look at the person sitting on the end of his bed…and his heart sank.
“Oh, Jim…” he murmured. He slid out of bed and crouched in front of him, hands on Jim’s knees. His head was down, shoulders hunched, and he avoided Leonard’s eyes. “Did you lock the door when you came in?”
A slight nod. “Yeah.”
Leonard frowned. His voice was too raspy to be normal.
“Jim…”
“Bones…just…please…” Jim whispered. He leaned forward a bit, bringing his head in contact with Leonard’s shoulder, leaning on him.
Leonard sighed, then gave in. This is what Jim needed now. Not another lecture. Not concerned pleading. Not arguing over what he should do. Just someone to lean on.
He could be that. He would be that. They’d deal with the rest of it tomorrow.
Carefully, he threaded his fingers through the blonde hair, the touch meant to soothe as much as it was meant to examine. He didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary - no sticky hair, no bumps - and that made him relax a bit more. He slipped a hand down to the back of Jim’s neck, gently massaging the tense muscles and tendons he felt there.
“Okay, Jim. Okay. Just…are you badly hurt? Your body, your face, or your hands?” He had to know. He hoped not…but he had to know for sure.
It was a second before Jim answered. “No…I’m okay. I just need to clean up a little.”
Leonard squeezed his eyes closed, physically forcing down everything he was desperate to say. It wouldn’t help. Not right now. Instead he just gently patted Jim’s shoulder.
“Go on in to the bathroom. I’ll bring you some clothes.”
His face hidden in shadows, forehead still resting on the broad shoulder that was always there for him…since he was fifteen, there for him…Jim closed his stinging eyes, blinking tears, and swallowed hard around the ache in his throat. Grasping Leonard’s arms, Jim gave them a brief squeeze - communicating the gratefulness he felt that he just couldn’t voice - and quickly stood, making it across the small room to the bathroom in just a couple of strides, being careful to keep his back to Bones. In the doorway, he braced a hand against the frame, waiting for a wave of dizziness to pass, then stepped all the way in, closing (but not locking) the door behind him.
Leonard watched him go, levering himself up to sit on the bed, elbows on his knees as he rubbed his eyes with a deep sigh.
This was maddening. For so many reasons.
That Jim would put up with being with someone who treated him so badly. That he would stay, even after an episode like this. That he would be willing to give that asshole another chance to hurt him again. That he would walk out of this dorm room, either blind to, or choosing not to see, how much it broke Leonard’s heart every damn time.
It was equally incomprehensible and predictable. And though it wasn’t the first time, Leonard was determined to help Jim make it the last.
When he heard the water in the shower turn on, Leonard went to his computer terminal and activated it. Tomorrow Jim didn’t have any sessions or classes to attend to, so that was something anyway. It was Saturday, though, and he was supposed to work at SF Medical. Without even sparing a thought to worry about it, he sent a communique to his superior informing him that he was ill and would not be able to work his shift. He copied one of his associates - who owed him this same kind of favor - and asked if he would fill in. There would be repercussions for this, but it was worth it. Jim was worth it.
That done, he collected some clothes for Jim and let himself into the bathroom.
Jim jumped slightly when he heard the bathroom door open, but steadied himself quickly with a hand on the wall.
“Clothes for you,” Leonard said.
“Thanks.”
Leonard pulled out his personal medkit and balanced it on the edge of the sink, then left to get a cup of water.
Under the cover of the spray, Jim sighed. He knew that Leonard was waiting for him to come out so he could get a good look at the damage and fix him up. And it wasn’t that Jim wasn’t grateful , but he couldn’t handle that now. He couldn’t handle seeing the pity or the hurt…or the disappointment.
On the other hand, he didn’t have any energy to fight. All he wanted to do was sleep. So he’d let Leonard do whatever he wanted, and then they’d go to bed, and Jim could sleep and forget this ever happened. He could wake before Leonard, leave a quick thank you note, and go back to his own dorm.
…And then, later, Nick would comm him, apologize, remind Jim that he hadn’t been innocent in all of this, and that they belonged together. That Jim deserved someone who cared enough to fight because of him. And Jim…well, he’d see the truth in it. That Nick hadn’t been the only one arguing. That Jim had pushed until he snapped, that Nick always came back for him, no matter how much Jim pissed him off. That Jim deserved some of what Nick did, and that it wasn’t that bad, really.
And his heart hurt with the knowledge that maybe this was all he’d ever be worth. The same doctor who fixed him up when he was fifteen and broken would do the same now, but all he’d ever be worth was half the blame for needing to be fixed up in the first place. Just like then. Amazing how little had changed between then and now.
“Jim?” Bones quiet voice cut through the sound of the water, and Jim shook himself out of it. He turned off the water and pushed his hair back.
“Coming. Is there a towel?”
Leonard pushed the curtain aside enough to hand Jim a towel, letting him have his privacy. “I’ll be out there. I have water and a pain tablet for you on the sink. Take it.”
“Okay.”
Leaving the door open slightly, Leonard made some tea with honey for both of them. Jim would refuse, probably, but it would help his throat. Just as he was bringing the two mugs over to the little table, Jim exited the bathroom. Dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants that were a little too big for him, he looked especially young, and Leonard swallowed against the memory.
“Come sit, Jim. Just for a minute. Have some tea.”
Quietly, and without any of the pushback he’d expected, Jim did as Leonard asked. His shoulders hunched and he seemed to huddle over the warmth of the hot tea. Leonard watched as he took a sip and winced as he swallowed.
“Let me see,” Leonard said, pulling the other chair close to Jim and sitting face to face with him, the medkit open on the table between them. Jim kept his head down, and his eyes averted. “Jim, please.”
With a sigh, Jim gave in and tipped his head up, and Leonard got a good look for the first time. Jim was watching him, so he didn’t react at what he saw…the abrasion on his cheekbone, the bruising that was just starting to show above his eye and on that temple, the lip that looked like it’d been bitten, or, worst of all, the redness around his neck that would account for his hoarse voice.
Without a word, Leonard gently cleaned the damaged areas and put topical biocream on the open wounds, but that was it.
“You’re not going to use the regen?” Jim finally asked.
“No, not this time,” Leonard replied quietly. “Can you stand?”
Jim got to his feet as asked, and Leonard ran his hands around his torso, checking for sore spots and other injuries.
“I’m okay, Bones,” Jim said. “It wasn’t bad.”
“Don’t lie to me!” Leonard snapped. Jim flinched, and Leonard sat back with a sigh. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m not angry with you. But Jim, it looks like he had his hand around your throat. Don’t tell me it wasn’t bad.”
Jim’s hands clenched at his sides, and he stood silently. There was nothing else to say. Leonard was right. Jim knew it. That was it.
Finally, Leonard stood. He looked the younger man in the eyes until Jim was the one to look away. Leonard sighed and put his hands on Jim’s shoulders, then pulled him in. He was stiff at first, but Leonard persisted, and Jim slowly relaxed until his head was resting on Leonard’s shoulder, his arms coming up around Leonard’s waist.
After a couple of moments they both let go and pulled away from each other.
“C’mon, Jim. You must be exhausted, and I know I am. Bed.”
Jim nodded, eyes immediately going to the small couch.
“No…” Leonard said. “Bed.”
Jim looked a little puzzled, but allowed himself to be led to the bed. Leonard pulled a second pillow from the closet and handed it to him, then took a second to straighten the blankets. He lay down, moving in towards the wall so Jim could have the easy way out.
Still unsure about the situation, Jim remained standing by the bed.
“If you’d prefer the couch, you’re welcome to it,” Leonard finally said. “The blanket is there for that reason. But I’d prefer having you here, with me. And I think you’d prefer it, too.”
“For…” Jim said, unable to completely shake the long-learned suspicion.
“For sleeping, Jim. I want you here because I care about you. I want you here because I think you need to be close to someone who cares about you. And you haven’t. For too long.”
Jim hesitated for another moment, but in the end slipped into the bed beside Leonard with a grateful sigh. He was right. Jim did prefer to be with someone who cared about him right now. Leonard commanded the lights down, and turned on his side, looking at Jim’s profile as he lay on his back.
There was so much he wanted to say, but he just didn’t know if Jim was ready to hear it.
After a couple of moments of silence, of listening to each other breathe, Jim turned on his side, too, towards Leonard. Drawn by the comfort of trust, and because Jim knew Bones cared so much for him, he allowed it when Bones put an arm over his shoulders and pulled him in. He didn’t even bother to pretend he didn’t want to be held like that. He craved it, even. It’s just…not what he ever got. Not without strings, anyway. But Bones was different…he’d shown Jim, from the very beginning
But he couldn’t let himself get used to it…he knew he could never have Bones in his life the way he imagined. Bones didn’t even know who he really was. Jim knew he didn’t deserve him, anyway.
He took a deep breath that shuddered in his chest, and Leonard rubbed his back.
“Shhh. Jim, this can’t go on. We need to do something about it.”
“We?” Jim repeated.
“Of course, we,” Leonard replied. Then, “I want to help you, but you can’t go back to him again. Will you let me help you?”
Jim felt completely defeated. There was no fight in him anymore. Not when it came to this.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “But what? It’s not like I can just avoid him.”
In the darkness, Leonard frowned. That was true. Nick was a civilian, but he worked on campus. That could actually be helpful. He had a plan about what he wanted to do in his head, but they were both exhausted.
“It’s okay,” Leonard said, rubbing his back again. “Let’s sleep now. We’ll talk about it more tomorrow.”
“Don’t you have to work?” Jim asked.
“Not any more. I called out.”
“You called out? Because of me? Bones, I’m…”
“Jim…I called out for you. And don’t worry about it. You’re worth it.”
With those words settling in Jim’s heart, he finally drifted off to sleep. And laying in Bones’ bed, the weight of his arm comforting and safe around his shoulders, Jim slept deeply.
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Waking slowly, the smell of breakfast penetrated his sleeping brain. He turned his head against the pillow, and pain woke him further. His face…especially around his eye and cheek and lip…felt very tender.
“Ow,” he murmured, blinking his eyes open.
“Mornin’ Jim…you okay?”
And in that second, everything came rushing back in.
Fuck.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Sore.” Jim swallowed and his eyes watered. “My throat is sore.”
He pushed himself up, and gently felt his face with his fingertips.
Leonard looked up from the coffee he was making, the ”I’ll bet” dying on his lips when he got a good look at Jim’s face. He hadn’t used the regen on Jim on purpose, and the bruising on his face and neck were even more noticeable than he’d thought it would be.
“Do you need a pain tablet?” he asked instead.
“No,” Jim replied, shaking his head. “I’m fine. Just gonna use the bathroom.”
He avoided looking in the mirror as he washed his hands, keeping his head down. He didn’t need to see to remind him of the damage Nick had done last night.
Leonard had two cups of coffee and then two plates of eggs, toast and bacon waiting for him on the little table where he sat with his padd. He looked up when the door opened, and he tipped his head towards the empty chair, silently asking Jim to join him.
“Thanks for this,” Jim said as he sat. At first he wasn’t sure he was hungry, but he hadn’t had anything to eat since yesterday afternoon, and when the smell of the breakfast and coffee hit him, his stomach growled.
They ate silently, each wondering about the next steps. Leonard knew what he wanted to do. He hoped that Jim would agree.
“Bones…thanks for…all this,” Jim said quietly. “For, well, everything.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Jim. I - I care about you. I don’t want you hurt. Nick is a violent asshole, and you deserve so, so much better than that. I just…” he stopped, shaking his head, and Jim looked up at him from fiddling with his fork. Leonard took a breath and met Jim’s eyes. “I just don’t understand why. Why Jim? Why would you stay with someone who hurts you like this? Especially when I’m--” he cut himself off. Especially when I’m right here?
Jim snorted, standing and crossing his arms over his chest defensively. He went to stand at the window, the rest of the room behind him. “How can you say you care about me? You don’t even really know me,” he said lowly.
“Jim…” Leonard said slowly. “Of course I know you.”
Despondent, feeling alone in a way that was familiar and sad, Jim just shook his head, closing his eyes.
Making a decision, Leonard stood and came up behind Jim. Gentle pressure on his shoulders got him to turn around, though he kept his eyes averted and his arms crossed.
“Jim…” Leonard gently worked his left hand free, urging the fingers to unclench. Jim’s eyes flicked up to meet his, and Leonard held his gaze as his fingers traced the nearly-invisible line of the old injury that brought them together that first time, so long ago now. “I know exactly who you are.”
Jim’s eyes widened, and it was a moment before he could even take a breath.
“You do remember,” he said quietly.
“Of course I do.”
“How long? Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
Leonard shrugged. “I never said anything because I wasn’t sure if you remembered. As for how long…not on the shuttle. I was too…unfocused.” Jim snorted and Leonard smiled a little. They both knew that was a huge understatement. “But after, when you let me tend to the results of that bar fight…you had the same look as you did when you were fifteen. Like you didn’t understand why I wanted to help you. The memory just came flooding back, and I knew it was you. Also, I checked your jacket.”
Jim nodded, looking away again. Leonard ducked his head a little, trying to catch his eyes. “You obviously remembered…how long did you know?”
Jim smiled a little. “Oh, the second you sat down and started ranting at me.” His smile faded and he licked his lips nervously, wincing at the injury still there. “I’m sorry I just left that night. I just…didn’t want to take any chances.”
“I thought about you almost every day for years after that,” Leonard admitted. “I kept hoping you’d comm me, though I didn’t think you would.”
“I’m sorry,” Jim said again. “I…”
“Jim, none of that matters today. You’re not that child any more, and I’m not that same doctor. We’ve both lived a lifetime between then and now. And yes, I care about you. And I want you to realize you’re worth so much more than Nick,” he spit the name out as if it tasted bad. “You’re worth so much more to me. So let’s get Nick out of your life, okay?”
“And what about all the rest?” Jim asked. “What about you and me?”
“Neither of us are going anywhere this time. We’ll figure it out together, okay?”
And feeling more hopeful than he had since that cold night in Riverside, Jim leaned into Bones as he brought his arms up around him in a tender hug. “Okay,” Jim said. No more running.
.