Title: From the Water to the Sky
Author: Caera1996
Rating: G
W/C: 1,904
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: For Smudley - Jim never learned to swim, and that ends up being a problem for an unexpected reason. Bones offers to help.
Four damn centuries of space travel, and still the first step to training for spacewalking was dressing up in space suits and working in a tank of six million gallons of water.
Jim stood with his group on the observation deck, listening to the instructor describe what they were going to be doing once in the pool as they watched the group currently in the pool working on their tasks. His eyes fixed on the cadets in the tank, fifteen feet below the surface, Jim clenched his fists behind his back, swallowed and took a quiet breath. He broke out in a sweat as he watched them move as if in slow motion in the huge, eerily quiet tank. There were no bubbles because of the breathing apparatus and the lighting was controlled to simulate the darkness of space. Once submerged, there was no sense of up or down…it was as close to space as could be replicated on Earth.
In a huge tank of water. For the first time, Jim thought he understood Bones’ fear a bit more.
Unobtrusively making his way to the back of the group, Jim slipped away and hurried out of the facility. He was angry, embarrassed, and frustrated with himself. None of that was enough to make him want to get in to that tank today.
Keeping his eyes down, his feet carried him not to his own dorm, but to where he’d come to feel the most comfortable over this last year. He didn’t want to talk to anyone about this, but he didn’t want to be alone with it either, and he was counting on Bones being there. Jim knew his schedule, and he should be studying now.
Leonard looked up in surprise when his door slid open, brows furrowing in concern as Jim entered.
“Hey,” Jim said, keeping his eyes averted as he came into the single dorm room that more often held two rather than the one it was supposed to. He paused to pull off his shoes, leaving them in the entranceway.
“Hey,” Leonard responded, puzzlement in his voice. “Everything ok?”
There was a moment of hesitation before Jim pasted a smile on his face. “Yeah,” he said, sliding into the chair at Leonard’s computer terminal. He accessed his schedule, grateful that he was still within the time period to make changes. This practical ran often, he could take it again easily later on. “Everything’s fine.”
Leonard watched as Jim worked. He’d heard that beat of silence loud and clear, and Jim still hadn’t really looked at him. And, Leonard knew, Jim was supposed to be in a practical right now. One that he’d been excited about…the precursor to spacewalking and flight…two things Leonard was more than happy to put off as long as possible.
“Why are you here?” Leonard asked. Not annoyed exactly. Just…something was wrong. After almost a whole year of Jim just always being around, Leonard had learned a few things about him. And he could just tell something was up.
Jim looked over at him, a smirk on his face. “Am I bothering you?”
Leonard rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an ass. Why aren’t you at that damn-fool practical?”
Jim sighed and turned in the chair to face him, finally. But then he leaned back and focused his gaze on the ceiling.
“I dropped it,” Jim said.
“Why?”
Jim shrugged, meeting Leonard’s eyes for first time since he interrupted his studying. “Changed my mind.”
Leonard scowled at him, putting the PADD down and giving up on getting anything else done. “Can we cut to the chase on this Jim? I’m too busy to try to pull this out of you one word at a time.”
Jim shifted in the chair, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, eyes focused on the floor. This was embarrassing and stupid. To be stymied by something like this…
Leonard sighed, and Jim heard him get up and come to sit on the edge of the bed, closer to him.
“Jim, what’s wrong?”
“I had to drop the class.”
Genuinely puzzled, Leonard asked, “Why? You were so excited about it.”
“Did you know that the first exercises take place underwater?”
“Of course. It’s not like they could put you in space for practice,” Leonard said. “Why does that matter?”
Jim glanced up at him, then away again, his face reddening in embarrassment. “I can’t swim,” he mumbled.
“You can’t….Really?”
“Yeah, Bones. Really. Not a lot of places or opportunities to learn how to swim surrounded by nothing in Nowhere, Iowa,” Jim said defensively.
Taken aback by Jim’s admission, Leonard was at a loss. Who knew that such a small thing…something he
took for granted...could possibly stop Jim from taking this step in his education? It’d never even crossed Leonard’s mind.
“But…you don’t really have to know how to swim, do you? I mean, you’re in a spacesuit…”
“Bones, I...I can’t be in a huge tank of water and not know how to swim! I just….” He stopped, shaking his head. But Leonard got it. He was scared.
“So what are you going to do?” Leonard asked.
Jim sighed. “Well, I dropped it for now. I guess…I have to learn how to swim.” As if it would be that easy…just the thought of it, of flailing around and slipping under…was enough to make him feel sick.
“I can help you with that,” Leonard said. “If you want,” he added quickly when Jim looked up.
“Really?” Jim asked, surprise and something else….hope, maybe?...in his voice. “You’re so busy…you would do that for me?”
Whatever it was, it almost hurt to hear. Because Leonard heard a lot more in those questions than just gratefulness. He heard the insecurity of someone who grew up unsure of his worth. It wasn’t something that Leonard heard often from Jim, but he’d heard it a couple of times. And the more he got to know Jim, the more he realized how much a part of him it was.
At first, Leonard didn’t get it. Jim was confident and arrogant, annoyingly smart and always full of energy. That just didn’t fit with this other side he sometimes got a glimpse of… at a time like this, for example. But for some reason, after that first awful shuttle ride, Jim had decided to make a friend out of Leonard. And now, after a year of him just always being there, of offering help when needed, of going out for a drink together, after everything like that, and almost in spite of Leonard himself, they were friends. Jim’d been there for him more than once. He shouldn’t be surprised that Leonard would do the same.
“Why not?” Leonard said with a shrug, keeping casual about it. “It ain’t rocket science, kid.”
Jim smiled then, bright and happy. “Excellent. Rocket science is a snap. Thanks Bones.”
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Two nights later Jim and Leonard were at one of the community facility pools off-campus. The pool was closed, but Leonard had a few connections and was able to pull some strings. Jim had been incredibly self-conscious about the idea of learning how to swim with an audience, and Leonard had understood. He went through it every time he had to get on a shuttle. There were few things more humiliating than being on display when dealing with something that scared you.
“I’m not scared,” Jim insisted as they stood in water only slightly deeper than their waists. “But it just makes more sense to learn the basics where I can stand up.”
“You can still stand up if we go a little deeper, Jim,” Leonard pointed out patiently. He moved further away from him, illustrating the point by standing in chest deep water. “Come on. You want me to teach you? Trust me.”
Jim hesitated another few moments, reluctant to leave the safety of the shallow water. But then he looked at Bones as just waited patiently. Here with him, even though today he’d had classes and a shift at the hospital, and a paper to write. So Jim took a breath, told himself he wasn’t scared, and moved closer to Bones.
Leonard smiled encouragingly. “Doing good, kid,” he said.
They worked together for a couple of nights a week for a few weeks. Jim didn’t have a lot of natural buoyancy - he was all muscle - but he was physically well-coordinated, and it didn’t take a lot for him to get the hang of floating on his back, then some basic strokes. He lacked the confidence in his ability to save himself, and Leonard dealt with that little by little. And soon Jim was able to swim the width of the pool confidently and easily, his freestyle stroke a little clumsy at first but getting better each time they came. The one thing Jim balked at was moving to the deep end. He was fine as long as he could stand, but that wasn’t good enough. And they both knew it.
“Okay,” Leonard said during a session at the end of the month. “You can float on your back, you have no problem swimming under water, you’re passable with the freestyle, and you have the doggie paddle down…”
“Hey!” Jim said, sending a splash of water at him. Leonard just chuckled and wiped the water out of his eyes.
“I think we should spend today in the deep end,” Leonard said. He watched Jim’s face, able to see his first reaction before smoothing it over. It was concern. Worry. Maybe a little fear, still. Moving to the wall, Leonard put one had on it and started walking towards the deep end. When it was too deep for him to stand, Leonard let go and swam, keeping close to the wall.
And behind him, Jim followed.
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Leonard took a seat in the observation room, watching as Jim moved to the edge of the tank. He and the other cadets were dressed in the modified space suits and they each waited for their breathing apparatuses to be connected and activated.
Jim turned and caught Leonard’s eyes. He quirked an eyebrow in question, asking if he was ok, and Jim smiled and gave him a thumbs up sign before putting on his helmet and securing it in place. Leonard watched as the cadets went through the process of checking each other’s suits, and then move into the tank, following a tethered chord down to the required depth. He watched, with growing pride, as Jim moved easily, without hesitation, and take his place at his assigned area with his partner. He stayed and watched the whole session, and was there when Jim exited the facility, joining him in the observation room.
“Did you see that Bones?” he asked excitedly. “The way we had to maneuver upside down like that? I thought I’d get dizzy, but it wasn’t bad at all.”
“Yeah, I saw all of it. Good job, kid,” Leonard said sincerely.
Jim stopped him just outside the facility with a hand on his shoulder. Leonard turned back, and Jim looked at him seriously. “You’re the only one who ever cared enough to teach me how to swim.” He glanced away for a second before looking at him again. “Thank you.”
For teaching me how to swim.
For caring about me.
Leonard held his gaze for a second, making it clear he understood. “Of course, Jim. Any time.”
.