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Part 1 caer January 4 2010, 15:08:42 UTC
Part One

Word Count: 406

*

He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows digging into his knees, hands hanging loosely between his legs, and staring at an inscrutable spot on the carpet. The only light comes from a street lamp directly outside their bedroom window, a faint golden hue painting the wall. He’s not sure how long he’s been sitting like this. No muffled voices of the TV sound through the door, so he guesses Sloan must finally be in her room.

Finally safe to go into the kitchen then.

He figures he should feel terrible, avoiding her like he is, especially since she dropped the pregnancy bombshell on him, but he just needs a little time to adjust to this. Some room to breathe and not feel like he’s being suffocated by his own daughter, that’s all. Mark grimaces at the slip of honesty in that last thought, and what began as a pounding guilt over knowing the conception of a possible child, balloons into overbearing guilt at wishing she had never turned up like she had.

It’s not that he doesn’t want a kid. It’s just that this isn’t how he pictured it happening. Nothing about this situation is what he imagined it to be. He thought maybe in a few years, once Lexie was done her residence, they’d tie the knot and after that, who knows?

An estranged pregnant 18 year-old didn’t figure into his plans. (Briefly he chuckles at the irony. Of course it would be his daughter that would get knocked up.)

Mark digs the heels of his palm into his eyes, feeling every bit of his 40 year existence wearing away at him, and tries to think of a way of how the hell he’s going to tell his 24 year-old girlfriend he’s about to become a grandfather. A small spark of irrational anger flares up, and this has become a regular occurrence in the passing months. While most of it is on Lexie’s behalf - that she has to deal with this at all - there’s a part that resents she can walk away from this (from him) anytime she wants. She isn’t tied to the two of them, and that’s not a freedom he has.

He lies back on the bed, uncomfortable in jeans and the itchy fabric of his shirt. Lexie’s on call, so he’s on his own tonight.

(It’s good practice anyway, for when she finally dumps his ass over this.)

*

[GO!]

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Re: Part 1 citron_presse January 4 2010, 16:00:01 UTC
What a gorgeous, atmospheric start. (And Mark!fic - which clearly pleased me.)

there’s a part that resents she can walk away from this (from him): this is a great thought. His instinct was to run, and now he's absolutely stuck. I can absolutely see him feeling this way.

Also, I loved (in a kind of cringing for Mark way) the idea that he has to hide in his own apartment, until Sloan is out of the way. And his pessimism over the whole thing is heartbreaking, especially because he's making himself do the right thing.

Awesome writing - every word worked so well; awesome start!

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Re: Part 1 caer January 5 2010, 01:18:13 UTC
Thanks! The resentful thing just came at me while I wrote - glad you like it :D Sometimes I feel sorry for Mark =( The guy just never seems to catch a break.

Thank you for the lovely words. I appreciate it! =)

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Re: Part 1 foibles_fables January 4 2010, 17:42:18 UTC
really, REALLY awesome. i love the image of mark on the bed and his feeling of entrapment (which is really a great and true observation).

i'd say more but i have to go and pay attention to the scientific revolution AP Euro (posting from my phone). but thanks for giving this (and me! :D) a great start to go by!

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Re: Part 1 caer January 5 2010, 01:24:39 UTC
I'd imagine he's less than thrilled to be taking care of his pregnant 18 year-old daughter (guilty as he may feel), and thanks for saying so. Of course, now everyone else has to write him like this too, lol.

Can't wait to see what you post! =D

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Re: Part 1 mammothluv January 4 2010, 22:32:05 UTC
I love this glimpse into Mark's thoughts. Great start!

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Re: Part 1 caer January 5 2010, 01:26:19 UTC
Thanks! But now I wish I'd written more =(

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Re: Part 1 littleone87 January 4 2010, 23:00:42 UTC
Oh God, poor Mark. :( This was beautiful! See, you had nothing to be afraid of! I feel so bad for poor Mark, it's as if he feels like he can't get anything right. *Sigh* Plus, I love his very real fear that Lexie could leave him over this. But I am saddened that he automatically assumes she will. *pets Mark*

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Re: Part 1 caer January 5 2010, 01:29:03 UTC
Yeah...Mark is so depressing and angst-y sometimes =( But that's why we love him =D

I wish I had written something longer! D: Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts &hearts

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Part 3 nursebadass January 5 2010, 03:59:18 UTC
Oh wow. So good. You're an awesome writer.

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Re: Part 3 caer January 5 2010, 04:09:36 UTC
Thank you ^^

I'm excited to see what you post! =D (Btw, when you post your part, make sure you reply to the ENTRY, not to any previous part.)

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Re: Part 3 nursebadass January 5 2010, 04:15:57 UTC
Yep, I know. I'm working on it. I got Cristina/Muppet man out of the way and I'm doing a little bit of Alex. It sucks because I'm tired.

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Re: Part 1 miss_blanche January 5 2010, 12:13:35 UTC
You set the scene beautifully - fantastic description and a really great start to the whole thing.

so he guesses Sloan must finally be in her room. Finally safe to go into the kitchen then.

All descriptions aside this really struck me because it shows how trapped and suffocated he's feeling by the situation and it does it in a tangible way. There's nothing wprse than feeling trapped off in your own home and that really struck me. Lovely work :)

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Re: Part 1 caer January 6 2010, 08:27:02 UTC
Thank you! Of course, stupid canon totally ruined that now :P I'm glad you liked it though =)

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Re: Part 1 caer January 6 2010, 08:29:18 UTC
Aw, don't quit the show D= It's just a rough patch, that's all. There's also a theory by foibles_fables and citron_presse that the kiss thing could possibly be a daydream. So have hope! =)

Thank you for reading &hearts

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