Stand-still
there are some stretches of land where it feels like no matter how hard you push yourself, no matter how much you strive to move more quickly, it seems like you're standing in place and getting nowhere fast. i'm not talking about quicksand. no, this is more insidious. it's this trick of the mind where the ground and the horizon conspire to keep you from getting to your destination, always within sight, always just out of reach.
there's a place on campus that's like that. i know whereof i speak, geographically, topographically.
but this principle seems to be applying to me metaphorically this semester. other people are doing as much and more than i am this semester so i wind up feeling lazy and whiny for feeling burned out, run down, fed up, and overwhelmed. it goes something along the lines of: why do i feel so shitty and self-pitying when so-and-so is accomplishing more with his/her life?
now i'm sick for the first time in about 4-5 months. it's a relatively mild-moderate cold at the moment. not that i want a terrible flu or whatnot, it's just this annoying obstacle. body tired. bone tired? head full of cotton. sniffly nose and slight sore throat. it makes me feel lousy enough to not want to do anything yet i feel that i should. i've been productive yesterday and today in more sedentary/prone tasks like reading. i need to stop. i need a break. i just hope i'll be well for Spring Break this weekend. i need it so desperately.
there's a place on campus that's like that. i know whereof i speak, geographically, topographically.
but this principle seems to be applying to me metaphorically this semester. other people are doing as much and more than i am this semester so i wind up feeling lazy and whiny for feeling burned out, run down, fed up, and overwhelmed. it goes something along the lines of: why do i feel so shitty and self-pitying when so-and-so is accomplishing more with his/her life?
now i'm sick for the first time in about 4-5 months. it's a relatively mild-moderate cold at the moment. not that i want a terrible flu or whatnot, it's just this annoying obstacle. body tired. bone tired? head full of cotton. sniffly nose and slight sore throat. it makes me feel lousy enough to not want to do anything yet i feel that i should. i've been productive yesterday and today in more sedentary/prone tasks like reading. i need to stop. i need a break. i just hope i'll be well for Spring Break this weekend. i need it so desperately.