(no subject)
sometimes im disgusted with myself. here i sit and bitch and whine about my heartache over a boy yet that's really my only problem. a lot of other people have much more than a breakup they are having to deal with. so yeah, im at work. i should be working on my scientific paper that is due today but i have oh so much on my mind. i ran into a friend at work tonight. i was going through rehab to pick something up and there she was with a big smile as she was excited to see me and gave me a big hug. we caught up on things and you never would of know she has it much worse than me.. back in march both her sister and mother were struck by a semi truck on the highway. her 16 year old sister died on the spot and her mother is still in rehab. her mother has no idea who mari is but that doesnt stop her from visiting her mother everyday. she sleeps up here at the hospital everynight by her mothers side because she doesnt like sleeping alone. she doesnt even know her father.. so why must i bitch about a stupid boy? i dont know. i cant figure that one out. sure i see paul a lot but it's nothing like i want it to be. my heart just aches without him around. it really sucks.. i really thought i was a much stronger person and that this is what i wanted in my life.. i made a big mistake. i wish i could of given paul another chance when he was begging me to, but now that i say i want another chance, he doesnt.. he wants to see what else is out there first.. ouch.. i think it's a big way of getting back at me for what i did.. i fucked up and wish i knew how i could make things right.. no more bitching.. im done.. im finished.. im out..
xoxo
xoxo