fuck livejournal and fuck my coworkers
here we go here we go here we go again!
this livejournal is really amazing i have to say. i <3 it muchly, i can't believe ive had one for so many years. i can't express enough how much i enjoy having it, even though i dont use it nearly as oft as i may like..
it's almost july of 2008, i am now 20 years old and i guess a lot has changed. 2008 has undoubtedly been one of the most tumultuous (sp?) years of my life, and writing in here only makes me realize it more and more. so lets see..
i totally bombed out last semester @ unm. out of the 5 classes i took i passed 1, and that was only barely. the other 4 i failed miserably and i still owe unm so much money it hurts. im really ashamed that i let myself do that, i hate thinking about it. i'm supposed to be going into my junior year but now i have to go back and try to make up last semester. and worst of all is that unm has me on academic probation, which means even getting into classes is going to be really hard. and, of course, until i finish paying off my tuition, i cant even register at all. my only option is to take classes @ cnm, i'm waiting to register and crossing my fingers that the registration process goes smoothly, and hoping like hell that i can get some classes that will actually go towards my degree -- i'm almost done with all my core for my bachelors which means that cnm is only going to have so much to offer me. ugh, its a huge load of my shoulders every time i think about it, i just want this to work out. i need to graduate, i can't give up. i can't.
being single is weirder than shit. the past 3 months or so have seen me "back on the market" but nothing yet has come of it. i still talk to aaron a lot and we see each fairly often, and i dont know whether that is a good or bad thing. it makes things really weird between us, and makes me wonder why we can't stay away from each other, but im hoping its not terribly unhealthy, and that its just our way of easing into separate lives. truth be told i'm not so sure we're doing the right thing, but i'm not stopping it any more than he is, so things have continued to go the way they have.
i dont even really know what i want anymore. sometimes i feel like i'm going crazy being alone but most of the time im ok with it. after being in a relationship for over 2 years i find myself very much torn -- im used to companionship, to having someone around me all the time, yet at the same time i'm terrified of getting into another serious relationship. occasionally when i was with aaron i would wonder if i was going to regret spending so much of my youth in a serious relationship, which makes me think that i should embrace my sudden single life. it's good to be alone (sometimes), and i need to learn how to make it on my own. i'm still getting to that, even like 4 months since aaron and i broke up.
in other news, this summer has actually been pretty enjoyable. june has brought a lot of really fun times, and i have more fun times coming up. really, june 08 will go down in history as the month of public drunkenness for me. in the past 6 months i've probably drank 6 times, and 3 of 'em have been in the past 3 weeks. it started with a baseball game at the beginning of the month, katy and i drove her brother andy and his girlfriend to a game between the ABQ Isotopes (it was my first time ever at a real baseball game, it was awesome!) and the Omaha Royals. the 'topes got their asses kicked, but we got all drank while we were there (well, everyone but katy, she was driving..) and had a really good time. a week after that was the abq gay pride festival, which was even more fun. every year i make a point to go to pride (katy and i have gone 6 years in a row now) and its always a blast, but this was definately one of the best times. the day started off with myself meeting up with robin and her friend christina to watch the parade, we all had breakfast and then drove up to central/washington to camp out and watch the parade. abby ended up joining us and we all had a good time. after the parade we all split up and katy, abby, and i all went to the actual festival @ the fairgrounds, and from there we proceeded to get really drunk. some of you may realize that abby and i are only 20 (abbys got 5 months to go, i've got 9) but the security @ pride was surprisingly lax, so we all walked around with our beers in hand and got really drunk in front of everyone. i got a super bad sunburn, and spent wayyy too much money on $9 cups of miller hi-life, but it was a ton of fun.
ugh! im at work right now and when i just got up someone else came over and closed my page. im really angry! i just lost this whole entry. rarghhhh
i had just finished writing all of what i have now (thank the lord for auto-save) plus another bit that was equallly as long, detailing further adventures @ the tim mcgraw/jason aldean concert that katy and i went to last week. we got really drunk there too, as apparently no one cares about security anymore. tim is amazing, so is jason, i can't begin to explain how much fun it was to see them live.
im going to wrap this up now, i'm way upset that i just lost like an hours worth of writing. i talked about the other things that are coming up in my life, which include going to the warped tour with robin next week and how im going to san diego the week after. im really nervous about both, but rarghh i cant stand writing all of it again.
this livejournal is really amazing i have to say. i <3 it muchly, i can't believe ive had one for so many years. i can't express enough how much i enjoy having it, even though i dont use it nearly as oft as i may like..
it's almost july of 2008, i am now 20 years old and i guess a lot has changed. 2008 has undoubtedly been one of the most tumultuous (sp?) years of my life, and writing in here only makes me realize it more and more. so lets see..
i totally bombed out last semester @ unm. out of the 5 classes i took i passed 1, and that was only barely. the other 4 i failed miserably and i still owe unm so much money it hurts. im really ashamed that i let myself do that, i hate thinking about it. i'm supposed to be going into my junior year but now i have to go back and try to make up last semester. and worst of all is that unm has me on academic probation, which means even getting into classes is going to be really hard. and, of course, until i finish paying off my tuition, i cant even register at all. my only option is to take classes @ cnm, i'm waiting to register and crossing my fingers that the registration process goes smoothly, and hoping like hell that i can get some classes that will actually go towards my degree -- i'm almost done with all my core for my bachelors which means that cnm is only going to have so much to offer me. ugh, its a huge load of my shoulders every time i think about it, i just want this to work out. i need to graduate, i can't give up. i can't.
being single is weirder than shit. the past 3 months or so have seen me "back on the market" but nothing yet has come of it. i still talk to aaron a lot and we see each fairly often, and i dont know whether that is a good or bad thing. it makes things really weird between us, and makes me wonder why we can't stay away from each other, but im hoping its not terribly unhealthy, and that its just our way of easing into separate lives. truth be told i'm not so sure we're doing the right thing, but i'm not stopping it any more than he is, so things have continued to go the way they have.
i dont even really know what i want anymore. sometimes i feel like i'm going crazy being alone but most of the time im ok with it. after being in a relationship for over 2 years i find myself very much torn -- im used to companionship, to having someone around me all the time, yet at the same time i'm terrified of getting into another serious relationship. occasionally when i was with aaron i would wonder if i was going to regret spending so much of my youth in a serious relationship, which makes me think that i should embrace my sudden single life. it's good to be alone (sometimes), and i need to learn how to make it on my own. i'm still getting to that, even like 4 months since aaron and i broke up.
in other news, this summer has actually been pretty enjoyable. june has brought a lot of really fun times, and i have more fun times coming up. really, june 08 will go down in history as the month of public drunkenness for me. in the past 6 months i've probably drank 6 times, and 3 of 'em have been in the past 3 weeks. it started with a baseball game at the beginning of the month, katy and i drove her brother andy and his girlfriend to a game between the ABQ Isotopes (it was my first time ever at a real baseball game, it was awesome!) and the Omaha Royals. the 'topes got their asses kicked, but we got all drank while we were there (well, everyone but katy, she was driving..) and had a really good time. a week after that was the abq gay pride festival, which was even more fun. every year i make a point to go to pride (katy and i have gone 6 years in a row now) and its always a blast, but this was definately one of the best times. the day started off with myself meeting up with robin and her friend christina to watch the parade, we all had breakfast and then drove up to central/washington to camp out and watch the parade. abby ended up joining us and we all had a good time. after the parade we all split up and katy, abby, and i all went to the actual festival @ the fairgrounds, and from there we proceeded to get really drunk. some of you may realize that abby and i are only 20 (abbys got 5 months to go, i've got 9) but the security @ pride was surprisingly lax, so we all walked around with our beers in hand and got really drunk in front of everyone. i got a super bad sunburn, and spent wayyy too much money on $9 cups of miller hi-life, but it was a ton of fun.
ugh! im at work right now and when i just got up someone else came over and closed my page. im really angry! i just lost this whole entry. rarghhhh
i had just finished writing all of what i have now (thank the lord for auto-save) plus another bit that was equallly as long, detailing further adventures @ the tim mcgraw/jason aldean concert that katy and i went to last week. we got really drunk there too, as apparently no one cares about security anymore. tim is amazing, so is jason, i can't begin to explain how much fun it was to see them live.
im going to wrap this up now, i'm way upset that i just lost like an hours worth of writing. i talked about the other things that are coming up in my life, which include going to the warped tour with robin next week and how im going to san diego the week after. im really nervous about both, but rarghh i cant stand writing all of it again.