Bioware Games: Some Fannish Stuff
So...at some point hearing 
settiai babble about Mass Effect, reading meta about how important Mass Effect is (spoiler heavy!), and discovering my brother owned it for PlayStation, I started playing a little Mass Effect. And loved it. And then
settiai posted that all three games were on sale for PC and all of a sudden I discovered why people would want to post about their versions of Shepard, because your character lives in your head.
And then
maramcreates bugged me to play Dragon Age, and I thought, "Hey, yet more character-driven Bioware games!" And I promised to report back to her about playing. So here are some of my characters.
Mass Effect: Janice Shepard
Janice "Jan" Shepard was an Alliance military brat. When her parents died in a shuttle accident when she was 16 or 17, the obvious choice was to join the Alliance military herself and become an infiltrator. The day her parents died, "Jan" died too, and no one has called her anything other than Shepard since. Shepard was the sole survivor from her unit of a thresher maw attack on Akuze, and she has some serious unprocessed trauma from the experience. Shepard is generally a pretty lawful good character, but man, when people bring up Akuze like she's some kind of hero, or like some fucking make-believe deity singled her out for some mythical purpose, she gets real vicious real quick.
Shepard wants to think of herself as a Galactic Citizen, rather than a human: once she's chosen as a Spectre, she really does believe her loyalty is to the Council and not to the Alliance. If it was an in-game option, she would have seriously considered resigning her Alliance commission. As it is, she tries to keep her Spectre work and her military work separate, not to break Council confidentiality, and generally to be responsive and respectful to her Council COs, even though she cannot fucking stand the Turian councilor, Sparatus, who she feels has a personal grudge against her.
Shepard is not the perfect galactic citizen, though, because in a galactic civilization where multisexuality is the assumed default, she is bafflingly straight. (As a player, this has been the most confusing thing ever, because I always tell my partner that I can't even imagine being monosexual, because gender-as-automatic-rule out/rule in just is not how my brain works. But apparently I can comprehend it because Shepard is just like "Boys." Full stop. And I am like "...but projecting your human gender assumptions onto other species is problematic?" And she is like "*shrug* Whatever. BOYS."
Shepard has a tentative relationship with Ashley, whom she views as appallingly speciesist...probably because Ashley says some of the things that Shepard tries not to notice that she herself thinks. She also is vaguely weirded out and repulsed by Ashley's belief in a deity, compounded with awkwardness about Ashley's crush on her. The day when Ashley realized that Shepard was never going to like her that way and switched to calling her "Chief" exclusively was a huge relief, but surprisingly a little painful for Shepard.
Shepard has never really warmed to Liara--she is still a little suspicious that Liara is holding something back to protect her mother (since that's what Shepard would do...sensing a pattern?). Plus Liara came on to her pretty strong, which put Sheparad in the really awkward position of having to navigate her cognitive dissonance around both her sexuality and her speciesism.
Shepard strongly respects Tali for her mechanical prowess, but in Shepard's mind Tali is the flagged "civilian" in enormous flashing letters, so Tali is never going to leave the Normandy on a mission (that isn't being a mechanic/consultant) if Shepard can help it.
Shepard is a little iffy about Garrus. She respects Garrus's experience in C-Sec and sometimes enjoys relaxing with him, but often leaves him behind on missions because he is too reckless and eager to believe that the ends justify the means--losing everyone she loved on Akuze, even if they did save the colony, taught Shepard otherwise long ago. Shepard feels adamant that the level of responsibility and accountability (and possibly even paperwork) surrounding her actions shouldn't decrease just because being a Spectre gives her more flexibility. Garrus's chaotic neutral personality tends to make Shepard see him as a naive, inexperienced, reckless kid, although she does enjoy talking to him.
Shepard is the most comfortable around "her boys": Wrex and Kaidan. They are her tac team and the closest thing she has to a support system.
Shepard loves that Wrex is straightforward and acerbic and pessimistic. The fact that he's a mercenary probably helps, because Shepard is a little fucked up around attachments to other beings, so knowing that he will be there as long as the job is good and that he won't hold back to spare her feelings helps her feel safer than a more emotionally-based connection would.
Shepard took to Kaidan as soon as they met. They have similar background as two navy brats, and Shepard appreciates Kaidan's even-handed feedback on their missions. If anyone is going to change Shepard's mind, it's Kaidan. After every away mission, Shepard checks on each of her crew, leaving Kaidan for last before she goes to bed, so that she can unwind and feel more safe and open. If Kaidan ever spontaneously called her "Jan"...she would let him. (Shepard also cannot fathom why Kaidan keeps suggesting they wait to have sex or even a real date until after they find Saren--she's been pretty damn clear about her interest, but can't make the first move because she's Kaidan's CO.)
Shepard tends to make pretty traditionally paragon choices, with a tendency to try to deliberately make choices favoring other species to balance out her unconscious pro-human bias. However, when she encountered the rachni Queen in Noveria, Shepard's historical horror of the rachni and long talks with Wrex about galactic war and the fate of the krogan won out over Kaidan's fear of playing God. Shepard begins to experience extreme cognitive dissonance, at the same time believing that she made the right choice and that she made a unilateral, renegade choice to commit genocide without any accountability. In order to resolve this dissonance and believe that she made a choice within her moral code, she begins to make more reckless, irresponsible, or unkind renegade choices. It's been a little horrifying to watch, as she still views herself as a paragon with a strong moral compass, even though she is becoming more and more cruel and reckless.
I haven't yet played Virmire, because having some spoilery knowledge I know either Kaidan or Ashley is going to die, and I am terrified of which choice Shepard is going to make. Terrified that Shepard may choose to save Ashley because she feels guilty for liking Kaidan more, and terrified that Shepard will choose Kaidan and then allow guilt to rip them apart.
Anyway, that's Jan Shepard. That was a lot longer than I thought it would be, so maybe I'll talk about my current DAO plays, and the things that frustrate me about DAO, in another post later. Time for a nap.
(
comments at Dreamwidth. Comment there.)
settiai babble about Mass Effect, reading meta about how important Mass Effect is (spoiler heavy!), and discovering my brother owned it for PlayStation, I started playing a little Mass Effect. And loved it. And then
settiai posted that all three games were on sale for PC and all of a sudden I discovered why people would want to post about their versions of Shepard, because your character lives in your head.
And then
maramcreates bugged me to play Dragon Age, and I thought, "Hey, yet more character-driven Bioware games!" And I promised to report back to her about playing. So here are some of my characters.
Mass Effect: Janice Shepard
Janice "Jan" Shepard was an Alliance military brat. When her parents died in a shuttle accident when she was 16 or 17, the obvious choice was to join the Alliance military herself and become an infiltrator. The day her parents died, "Jan" died too, and no one has called her anything other than Shepard since. Shepard was the sole survivor from her unit of a thresher maw attack on Akuze, and she has some serious unprocessed trauma from the experience. Shepard is generally a pretty lawful good character, but man, when people bring up Akuze like she's some kind of hero, or like some fucking make-believe deity singled her out for some mythical purpose, she gets real vicious real quick.
Shepard wants to think of herself as a Galactic Citizen, rather than a human: once she's chosen as a Spectre, she really does believe her loyalty is to the Council and not to the Alliance. If it was an in-game option, she would have seriously considered resigning her Alliance commission. As it is, she tries to keep her Spectre work and her military work separate, not to break Council confidentiality, and generally to be responsive and respectful to her Council COs, even though she cannot fucking stand the Turian councilor, Sparatus, who she feels has a personal grudge against her.
Shepard is not the perfect galactic citizen, though, because in a galactic civilization where multisexuality is the assumed default, she is bafflingly straight. (As a player, this has been the most confusing thing ever, because I always tell my partner that I can't even imagine being monosexual, because gender-as-automatic-rule out/rule in just is not how my brain works. But apparently I can comprehend it because Shepard is just like "Boys." Full stop. And I am like "...but projecting your human gender assumptions onto other species is problematic?" And she is like "*shrug* Whatever. BOYS."
Shepard has a tentative relationship with Ashley, whom she views as appallingly speciesist...probably because Ashley says some of the things that Shepard tries not to notice that she herself thinks. She also is vaguely weirded out and repulsed by Ashley's belief in a deity, compounded with awkwardness about Ashley's crush on her. The day when Ashley realized that Shepard was never going to like her that way and switched to calling her "Chief" exclusively was a huge relief, but surprisingly a little painful for Shepard.
Shepard has never really warmed to Liara--she is still a little suspicious that Liara is holding something back to protect her mother (since that's what Shepard would do...sensing a pattern?). Plus Liara came on to her pretty strong, which put Sheparad in the really awkward position of having to navigate her cognitive dissonance around both her sexuality and her speciesism.
Shepard strongly respects Tali for her mechanical prowess, but in Shepard's mind Tali is the flagged "civilian" in enormous flashing letters, so Tali is never going to leave the Normandy on a mission (that isn't being a mechanic/consultant) if Shepard can help it.
Shepard is a little iffy about Garrus. She respects Garrus's experience in C-Sec and sometimes enjoys relaxing with him, but often leaves him behind on missions because he is too reckless and eager to believe that the ends justify the means--losing everyone she loved on Akuze, even if they did save the colony, taught Shepard otherwise long ago. Shepard feels adamant that the level of responsibility and accountability (and possibly even paperwork) surrounding her actions shouldn't decrease just because being a Spectre gives her more flexibility. Garrus's chaotic neutral personality tends to make Shepard see him as a naive, inexperienced, reckless kid, although she does enjoy talking to him.
Shepard is the most comfortable around "her boys": Wrex and Kaidan. They are her tac team and the closest thing she has to a support system.
Shepard loves that Wrex is straightforward and acerbic and pessimistic. The fact that he's a mercenary probably helps, because Shepard is a little fucked up around attachments to other beings, so knowing that he will be there as long as the job is good and that he won't hold back to spare her feelings helps her feel safer than a more emotionally-based connection would.
Shepard took to Kaidan as soon as they met. They have similar background as two navy brats, and Shepard appreciates Kaidan's even-handed feedback on their missions. If anyone is going to change Shepard's mind, it's Kaidan. After every away mission, Shepard checks on each of her crew, leaving Kaidan for last before she goes to bed, so that she can unwind and feel more safe and open. If Kaidan ever spontaneously called her "Jan"...she would let him. (Shepard also cannot fathom why Kaidan keeps suggesting they wait to have sex or even a real date until after they find Saren--she's been pretty damn clear about her interest, but can't make the first move because she's Kaidan's CO.)
Shepard tends to make pretty traditionally paragon choices, with a tendency to try to deliberately make choices favoring other species to balance out her unconscious pro-human bias. However, when she encountered the rachni Queen in Noveria, Shepard's historical horror of the rachni and long talks with Wrex about galactic war and the fate of the krogan won out over Kaidan's fear of playing God. Shepard begins to experience extreme cognitive dissonance, at the same time believing that she made the right choice and that she made a unilateral, renegade choice to commit genocide without any accountability. In order to resolve this dissonance and believe that she made a choice within her moral code, she begins to make more reckless, irresponsible, or unkind renegade choices. It's been a little horrifying to watch, as she still views herself as a paragon with a strong moral compass, even though she is becoming more and more cruel and reckless.
I haven't yet played Virmire, because having some spoilery knowledge I know either Kaidan or Ashley is going to die, and I am terrified of which choice Shepard is going to make. Terrified that Shepard may choose to save Ashley because she feels guilty for liking Kaidan more, and terrified that Shepard will choose Kaidan and then allow guilt to rip them apart.
Anyway, that's Jan Shepard. That was a lot longer than I thought it would be, so maybe I'll talk about my current DAO plays, and the things that frustrate me about DAO, in another post later. Time for a nap.
(
comments at Dreamwidth. Comment there.)