Episode 2.4
We'll begin with Roxanne's birthday!
What a cutie pie! *pinches cheeks*
Janis: I think it's time for a vacation, what about you, Delilah?
Delilah: Works for me!
Rhiannon: Wow, Delilah, you're a great dancer. All that sucking up to Mom and Grandma Lyric really worked!
Delilah: Thanks, I think.
The first thing that Delilah wanted to do when they got to Takemizu was buy new clothes, so I sent her to buy some kimonos for the family. However, she is distracted by this little Ninja Man here.
Ninja: Is it more important to know your enemy or yourself?
Delilah: Yourself, duh! That way, you can, like, make sure you wear the right color for your complexion and stuff!
Ninja: Uh, sure. That's... right?!
Delilah: Hey, where'd he go?
Delilah: Bring him back! He could have been cute!!
Meanwhile, Rhiannon spots something disturbing.
Rhiannon: I didn't realize there were whales in Takemizu!
That's not a whale, Rhiannon, that's your mother, taking full advantage of the "sunbathe anywhere" hack.
And uh, good call on the bathing suit stretchmarks, Maxis.
Here's Delilah in her Takemizu makeover.
Rhiannon: ...and then you bow and say "Domo very much-o, Mr. Roboto."
Here's Gilbert in his kimono!
And Janis in hers! This family is SO culturally aware.
Also, apparently they don't make kimonos for children?
Rhiannon: YES! I don't have to wear one of those stupid bathrobes like Mom, Gilbert, and Delilah!
Roxanne: Whatever, I am way cuter than you, RHIANNON.
Rhiannon: OH YEAH?! CUTENESS CONTEST!
(Rhiannon's profile)
Roxanne: Bring it ON!
(Roxanne's profile)
Delilah: What about me guys?
(I included her for good measure.)
Janis: So, you know that if you want to be heir you should start finding a husband or wife, right?
Delilah: *chokes on tea*
Rhiannon: Wow, that kimono makes mom look slimmer.
Maybe because it has no pregancy mesh?
Roxanne: I'mma get you, MILDEW!
Roxanne is the first autonomous cleaner of her generation, even though she only has 3 neat points to Rhiannon's 5 and Delilah's 7!
Roxanne: I GOTCHA!
Janis: Ahhhh! My husband's naked body distracted me whilst making my hamburger!
Janis: *sigh* I hate burnt hamburgers.
Who is that graceful ninja?
Why, it's Delilah, using her newly acquired skill!
Does this remind anyone else of Justin Timberlake in the "Bye Bye Bye" music video~ around 1:56 is the part I'm talking about. I'm sorry. *NSYNC was an integral part of my childhood, okay? I'm 20.
Delilah: Huh-haha!
And then she decides to do some fishing.
Roxanne: Oh, it seems to be RAINING...
Roxanne: You know what THAT MEANS!
Roxanne: Splash splash splash... LA LA LA!
At least nobody can say that Janis doesn't encourage her children. *sigh*
Meanwhile, Gilbert continues to make himself a background character.
Yeah, I got sick of the kimonos.
Well, you're getting a bit full of yourself, aren't ya, Delilah?
Delilah: I AM NOT CONCEITED!!!!
Roxanne: You will never be heir. Give up NOW!
Rhiannon: You got me! Call an ambulance!
Roxanne: You know, Delilah, the road to heir is LONG AND TREACHEROUS!
Nobody buys Rhiannon's lemonade. :(
But as soon as she abandons the stand, Roxanne takes over and gets Delilah to buy some. I think the blonds are forming an alliance.
What are you so cheerful about, Gilbert?
Ah, I see. Freakish knowledge Sim.
Gilbert: I really wish your mom had made soup instead of hamburgers.
Delilah: You're right, Gil. Soup would be way better.
Gilbert: O HAI HUNNY!
Gilbert: Okay girls, let's pretend this is the most delicious thing we've ever smelled.
Um... Daddy issues much, Roxanne?
Roxanne: Hey, Daddy, catch THIS!
Gilbert: But I am a knowledge Sim. You expect me to be good at sports?
Delilah: I WISH I HAD A FATHER TO PLAY CATCH WITH, BUT HE ATTACKED MY GRANDMOTHER AND HAD TO BE TERMINATED!
Delilah: La la la, Hillary Duff will erase my sorrows. She has been through so much worse. Joel Madden dumped her for Nicole Ritchie!
My, you are looking extraordinarily creepy there, Janis.
And a little bit like Cher, if I might venture to say so myself.
Okaaaaaaay, and the vacation is over. They never rolled vacation-related wants, and I got bored with it. I want Janis to have babies now, anyway.
Look at you, strutting down the path in the rain, Delilah.
Ah, a silhouette of pregnancy.
Janis: I am so hungry that the mailbox looks delicious, okay?
These children and their "Make & Sell Lemonade" want, I swear!!
Delilah: Whoooooo! Ashlee Simpson! She's even more pregnant than Mom!
Seriously, she has to be at like 73 months by now, right?
Rhiannon: Hi Scout! We're home, did you miss us?
Scout: Not even the least bit. The nanny made me Baked Alaska!
It would appear that Rhiannon has brought a friend home from school!
And so she has. His name is Pong King. Really.
Something about this picture bothers me...
Practicing your Evita, there, Roxanne?
Roxanne: I can't help it if I like rain, OKAY?
Lol @ Delilah being a creeper in the background.
Oh, the thigh tapping can only mean one thing: waiting to grow up!
It's not a party if your mom ain't passed out on the floor, yo.
Rhiannon: Whoa, am I hot?
Rhiannon: Yeah. I am TOTALLY hot!
And all that beauty is wasted. She rolled fortune, with turn-ons of fatness and facial hair.
Delilah: OMG I hope Mom is okay, I can't deal with any more death!
Lol. Gilbert had a nightmare about his mother-in-law.
And Rhiannon spends the remainder of her birthday writing in her diary about Aunt Calista (Sam's wife).
Pregnant lady got soul.
Profamin: What is that infernal racket that woke me from my eternal slumber?
Sometimes it's like Gilbert and Janis are one person.
Ew, I like the person with Janis's face better.
Because they never made it official before she died, Gilbert and Janis decide to have a pajama-clad ceremony in the attic, with their beloved guitar officiating.
D'aww.
Why, look! The ghostly fridge inspector has decided to pay a visit to the Cadences.
Gilbert: Excuse me! My wife is passed out and her first husband is in my kitchen!
Janis woke up when she saw that there was a fire in her kitchen. Apparently Profamin wanted an omelet?
Later that morning...
Janis: WHERE IS EVERYONE?!
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Author's note: If you happened to notice that Roxanne has a unique manner of speaking, it is modeled after a little girl I used to babysit for, Maecy, who Roxanne happens to resemble.