Damn Ryan/Simon fic makes me think about ISSUES and stuff. also, more adventures of the TMI kind.
Ok so I love AI, specifically Ryan Seacrest, a whole hell of a lot. Most people I love that I don't know (or that aren't real, and with Ryan there could totally be a case made), I tend to read (and write, occasionally) fanfic about.
Ryan-coming-out fics make me both sad and happy.
I'm 23. I am relatively certain that I'm about 70% straight. (Bear with me, my segue does have a point.)
I'm a girl, biologically and gender-identity wise. I've not been in many relationships in my relatively young years, mostly because a.) people I'm attracted to terrify me (as in rendering me mute, which doesn't really allow for that whole getting-to-know-you thing). b.) people I don't know terrify me, to some degree (the rendering mute thing. The internet has made my life much much easier, I must say. This rendering mute thing goes away with time and repeated exposure.), and c.) I was the geeky, quiet, new girl in HS that didn't make a lot of friends (in the tight-knit small town we moved to in 8th grade) before graduation. I have friends, don't get me wrong, but I've always felt more comfortable with people either older than I, sometimes much older, or those younger than I (and by younger I mean kids. I like kids. Kids like me.)
Having mostly those people as friends, dating is something I really haven't done much of; kinkier activities even less.
Guys just sort of work for me, for the most part. Like I said, not a lot of practical knowledge here, but in the theoretical sense. Girls, I can kinda take or leave. This is purely theoretical.
Having now given you waaayyy to much information about my sexual preferences, Ryan (generally Ryan/Simon) coming-out-fics make me happy, coz here's my Ryan getting to be happy with his Simon, and being all truthful with himself and others (and generally the whole freaking world) and not having to lie or not be true to himself in public, in-as-much as his public persona will let him be true to himself, out or not, and just yaay the world is full of puppies and kittens and happy Ryan with rainbows and a slightly-less-surly Simon and blah blah blah.
But it also make me sad and melancholy, because IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE STORIES RYAN ALREADY KNOWS HE'S GAY. He isn't finding himself , or figuring it out from an ill-timed reaction to Simon bending over or fake!fondling him (or real!fondling him. Simon is Simon Fucking Cowell. He could totally turn a straight!Ryan.)
Ryan ALREADY KNOWS. He just hasn't told/confirmed it with others, generally from fear of losing respect/job/job prospects/ect.
This makes me sad, because even though I was raised in a very conservative, ultra-religious home, lived in a series of small towns for all of my growing up years, still live in smalltown USA, am pretty much straight myself, etc, I still feel as if Ryan shouldn't have to "come out".
Because as much as I like love adore stories about my pretty boys sexin' each other up, it still, in the real world, isn't any of my damn business with whom and how they get off as long as everyone is a consenting adult.
Also, why is it such a big deal anyway? You like boys. You like girls. You like boys and girls. You like those that would check the "other" tickybox when asked gender. You are Captain Jack Harkness and cannot understand the 21st Century Earth Human's fascination with these silly labels and alien!sex and mpreg are totally canon.
So?
People are people. Straight people don't have to make a decision to tell others that they are straight. I really don't get why non-straight people should have to. Maybe one day "straight" won't be the automatic assumption. I wish that this were that day.
I just don't get people.
*pets Ryan's wee little head*
Ryan-coming-out fics make me both sad and happy.
I'm 23. I am relatively certain that I'm about 70% straight. (Bear with me, my segue does have a point.)
I'm a girl, biologically and gender-identity wise. I've not been in many relationships in my relatively young years, mostly because a.) people I'm attracted to terrify me (as in rendering me mute, which doesn't really allow for that whole getting-to-know-you thing). b.) people I don't know terrify me, to some degree (the rendering mute thing. The internet has made my life much much easier, I must say. This rendering mute thing goes away with time and repeated exposure.), and c.) I was the geeky, quiet, new girl in HS that didn't make a lot of friends (in the tight-knit small town we moved to in 8th grade) before graduation. I have friends, don't get me wrong, but I've always felt more comfortable with people either older than I, sometimes much older, or those younger than I (and by younger I mean kids. I like kids. Kids like me.)
Having mostly those people as friends, dating is something I really haven't done much of; kinkier activities even less.
Guys just sort of work for me, for the most part. Like I said, not a lot of practical knowledge here, but in the theoretical sense. Girls, I can kinda take or leave. This is purely theoretical.
Having now given you waaayyy to much information about my sexual preferences, Ryan (generally Ryan/Simon) coming-out-fics make me happy, coz here's my Ryan getting to be happy with his Simon, and being all truthful with himself and others (and generally the whole freaking world) and not having to lie or not be true to himself in public, in-as-much as his public persona will let him be true to himself, out or not, and just yaay the world is full of puppies and kittens and happy Ryan with rainbows and a slightly-less-surly Simon and blah blah blah.
But it also make me sad and melancholy, because IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE STORIES RYAN ALREADY KNOWS HE'S GAY. He isn't finding himself , or figuring it out from an ill-timed reaction to Simon bending over or fake!fondling him (or real!fondling him. Simon is Simon Fucking Cowell. He could totally turn a straight!Ryan.)
Ryan ALREADY KNOWS. He just hasn't told/confirmed it with others, generally from fear of losing respect/job/job prospects/ect.
This makes me sad, because even though I was raised in a very conservative, ultra-religious home, lived in a series of small towns for all of my growing up years, still live in smalltown USA, am pretty much straight myself, etc, I still feel as if Ryan shouldn't have to "come out".
Because as much as I like love adore stories about my pretty boys sexin' each other up, it still, in the real world, isn't any of my damn business with whom and how they get off as long as everyone is a consenting adult.
Also, why is it such a big deal anyway? You like boys. You like girls. You like boys and girls. You like those that would check the "other" tickybox when asked gender. You are Captain Jack Harkness and cannot understand the 21st Century Earth Human's fascination with these silly labels and alien!sex and mpreg are totally canon.
So?
People are people. Straight people don't have to make a decision to tell others that they are straight. I really don't get why non-straight people should have to. Maybe one day "straight" won't be the automatic assumption. I wish that this were that day.
I just don't get people.
*pets Ryan's wee little head*