Darwin's Exception
What’s with all the small, neurotic birds? Every day a sparrow comes to my sliding patio doors and beats its tiny wings piteously against them, hovering and squeaking and trying to get inside my apartment. I’m quite befuddled at this behavior, especially because of the clear view of my two eager cats through said patio door. I promise you that to my knowledge I have nothing of value to a sparrow in my apartment. Maybe it has a death wish. Speaking of which…
Not too long ago I was driving my car through a long stretch of unoccupied county highway. As I blasted by field after empty field, my foot drifted down on the accelerator. Suddenly, an enormous flock of tiny birds rose up en masse about 30 yards out from the highway. Rather than flying away, they all turned and flew STRAIGHT FOR MY CAR. Not wanting to go down as Genghis Khan of bird history, I slammed on the brakes - to no avail. The sickening thump of hundreds of little bird bodies on my windshield played over and over in my head the rest of the way to work. Who were those birds? Was their leader running some sort of a suicide cult? Did one of their members escape and decide to hurl itself against my patio door on a daily basis? I guess I’ll never know.
Not too long ago I was driving my car through a long stretch of unoccupied county highway. As I blasted by field after empty field, my foot drifted down on the accelerator. Suddenly, an enormous flock of tiny birds rose up en masse about 30 yards out from the highway. Rather than flying away, they all turned and flew STRAIGHT FOR MY CAR. Not wanting to go down as Genghis Khan of bird history, I slammed on the brakes - to no avail. The sickening thump of hundreds of little bird bodies on my windshield played over and over in my head the rest of the way to work. Who were those birds? Was their leader running some sort of a suicide cult? Did one of their members escape and decide to hurl itself against my patio door on a daily basis? I guess I’ll never know.