Lou Dobbs Tonight … and every night
Transcript of a typical Lou Dobbs Tonight broadcast:
“Welcome to CNN. I’m Lou Dobbs. Tonight, fires rage again in Southern California, and in other news ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS and oh, yes, there is still a war in Iraq. AMERICA IS BEING INVADED BY IMMIGRANTS FROM MEXICO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, the Democratic candidates are to engage in a debate tonight: will Hillary Clinton admit she WANTS TO GIVE AMNESTY AMNESTY AMNESTY TO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS? In health news tonight, IDIOTS ON THE LEFT, IDIOTS IDIOTS IDIOTS IN WASHINGTON WANT ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS TO COME TO THIS COUNTRY AND GIVE YOUR CHILDREN LEPROSY. More after the break.”
{commercial break}
“In international news, the president of a foreign country made a diplomatic visit to the United States. Unfortunately the foreign country was Mexico, so this is a MILITARY INCURSION ONTO UNITED STATES SOIL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS INVASION INVASION INVASION - here to discuss this, a person whom I carefully will not mention is a member of a white-supremacist group. Now for tonight’s ‘Broken Borders’ segment: There are in fact users of illegal drugs in the United States, and THEY ARE ALL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS AND ALL ILLEGAL DRUGS ARE BROUGHT TO THIS COUNTRY FROM MEXICO BY ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS WHO WANT TO ENDANGER YOUR CHILDREN. Public schools in many American cities are overcrowded, underfunded, and understaffed, and the sole and only reason for this is that THESE IDIOTS IN THE GOVERNMENT ARE MAKING YOUR CHILDREN GO TO SCHOOL ALONGSIDE BROWN CHILDREN OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS. Again I shall not mention that my guest tonight is here representing a group that maintains blacks and Hispanics are genetically inferior to whites.
“Here is tonight’s grotesquely slanted poll, about how THESE IDIOT ARE LETTING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS INVADE OUR COUNTRY. I am now going to pretend I’m surprised to learn that people who watch my show tend to agree with me.
“ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, AMNESTY LOBBY, INVASION INVASION DESTROYING OUR ECONOMY. ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FROM MEXICO MEXICO MEXICO MEXICO MEXICO MEXICO TAKING OVER OUR COUNTRY.
“And now for some of our email comments. Send your emails to lou.dobbs@really.runs.cnn.com - if you kiss my ass enough in your email, I might read it on the air and send you a copy of my book.
“In economic news, Bigbox Chainstore dares to employ people who do not speak English. THIS IS A BETRAYAL OF AMERICANS AND EVERYTHING THE FLAG STANDS FOR, ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS. My guest tonight NEVER calls Mexican people ‘savages’, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it, and I shall not bring up that her organization was described as a ‘hate group’ by the Southern Poverty Law Center.
“And last tonight, ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS POROUS BORDERS. Up next, Out in the Open - here’s Rick Sanchez, trying to pretend he doesn’t find my covert racism offensive. Look, I can be nice to him even though his name ends in Z. I’m Lou Dobbs.”
“Welcome to CNN. I’m Lou Dobbs. Tonight, fires rage again in Southern California, and in other news ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS and oh, yes, there is still a war in Iraq. AMERICA IS BEING INVADED BY IMMIGRANTS FROM MEXICO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, the Democratic candidates are to engage in a debate tonight: will Hillary Clinton admit she WANTS TO GIVE AMNESTY AMNESTY AMNESTY TO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS? In health news tonight, IDIOTS ON THE LEFT, IDIOTS IDIOTS IDIOTS IN WASHINGTON WANT ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS TO COME TO THIS COUNTRY AND GIVE YOUR CHILDREN LEPROSY. More after the break.”
{commercial break}
“In international news, the president of a foreign country made a diplomatic visit to the United States. Unfortunately the foreign country was Mexico, so this is a MILITARY INCURSION ONTO UNITED STATES SOIL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS INVASION INVASION INVASION - here to discuss this, a person whom I carefully will not mention is a member of a white-supremacist group. Now for tonight’s ‘Broken Borders’ segment: There are in fact users of illegal drugs in the United States, and THEY ARE ALL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS AND ALL ILLEGAL DRUGS ARE BROUGHT TO THIS COUNTRY FROM MEXICO BY ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS WHO WANT TO ENDANGER YOUR CHILDREN. Public schools in many American cities are overcrowded, underfunded, and understaffed, and the sole and only reason for this is that THESE IDIOTS IN THE GOVERNMENT ARE MAKING YOUR CHILDREN GO TO SCHOOL ALONGSIDE BROWN CHILDREN OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS. Again I shall not mention that my guest tonight is here representing a group that maintains blacks and Hispanics are genetically inferior to whites.
“Here is tonight’s grotesquely slanted poll, about how THESE IDIOT ARE LETTING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS INVADE OUR COUNTRY. I am now going to pretend I’m surprised to learn that people who watch my show tend to agree with me.
“ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, AMNESTY LOBBY, INVASION INVASION DESTROYING OUR ECONOMY. ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FROM MEXICO MEXICO MEXICO MEXICO MEXICO MEXICO TAKING OVER OUR COUNTRY.
“And now for some of our email comments. Send your emails to lou.dobbs@really.runs.cnn.com - if you kiss my ass enough in your email, I might read it on the air and send you a copy of my book.
“In economic news, Bigbox Chainstore dares to employ people who do not speak English. THIS IS A BETRAYAL OF AMERICANS AND EVERYTHING THE FLAG STANDS FOR, ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS. My guest tonight NEVER calls Mexican people ‘savages’, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it, and I shall not bring up that her organization was described as a ‘hate group’ by the Southern Poverty Law Center.
“And last tonight, ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS POROUS BORDERS. Up next, Out in the Open - here’s Rick Sanchez, trying to pretend he doesn’t find my covert racism offensive. Look, I can be nice to him even though his name ends in Z. I’m Lou Dobbs.”