(no subject)
no i'm not dead but i don't feel much like updating on recent events. i've been in a bit of a dreamland these past few weeks. It's the space between starting school, growing fears of adulthood and tattered remnants of family life. All of this gets caught up in the muggy summer atmosphere like bugs in a giant web. Life isn't at a standstill right now, it's a trapped and squirming insect in the sinister ensnarement of the summer.
The first track of the eternal sunshine soundtrack brought me to this realization. That sad airy piano tune that carries your mind off to your dreams, triumphs, first kisses and last suppers, confusing moments that won't bow down to categorization... Everything that has passed through your retina and onto those little rods and cones has been processed and what is left in our memories could not have a better soundtrack than that tune. For me anyway. There's such a sad beauty in those notes that describes the fleeting quality of memories and that little pang of sadness that often accompanies them. i was lost in that world until that music gave me a little moment of lucidity.
How many other people were passing by me in their cars thinking about taking care of their younger sibling in the creaky house they grew up in or imagining their high school sweetheart sitting next to them in another, much older, car? How many of them were squeezing the wheel with worry about their aweful jobs or ailing grandmothers? How many of them have this sadness that comes with surviving and seeing things die and shrivel up? All of them. i was just attuned to it at that particular moment.
The first track of the eternal sunshine soundtrack brought me to this realization. That sad airy piano tune that carries your mind off to your dreams, triumphs, first kisses and last suppers, confusing moments that won't bow down to categorization... Everything that has passed through your retina and onto those little rods and cones has been processed and what is left in our memories could not have a better soundtrack than that tune. For me anyway. There's such a sad beauty in those notes that describes the fleeting quality of memories and that little pang of sadness that often accompanies them. i was lost in that world until that music gave me a little moment of lucidity.
How many other people were passing by me in their cars thinking about taking care of their younger sibling in the creaky house they grew up in or imagining their high school sweetheart sitting next to them in another, much older, car? How many of them were squeezing the wheel with worry about their aweful jobs or ailing grandmothers? How many of them have this sadness that comes with surviving and seeing things die and shrivel up? All of them. i was just attuned to it at that particular moment.