(no subject)
man what a mindfuck
my world just got turned upside down and i dunno which way is right or left or what action to take with who.
should i distance myself from everyone to risk hurting people and myself? should i reach out to people but try to learn limits AS i do it, instead of BEFORE?
i miss dan but i want to be fair to him.
trevor likes me more than i thought he did, apparently. and he reads this. and he should stop reading right now even though i know he won't. i want to be something special in his eyes, i guess. and maybe we'd help each other tidy up with the traits we want to flush out of our systems. slowly.
and it's weird because i can't tell whether trevor has totally resurrected my hope, or whether he's like totally killed it. it's so weird. maybe he's done both.
and dan.
the sweet, kind, patient teddybear who may be learning the things i wanted him to learn. with my luck he'll be exactly the guy he'd been trying to be, and the one i dumped him because i thought he couldn't be, in about four months. and he won't want to take me back.
if he's the type of guy i want, then he'll stand his ground enough not to take me back after the shit i've done to him. another mindfuck.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i think i am literally unable to be single!!!!!!
how the hell do all you people do it?!
my world just got turned upside down and i dunno which way is right or left or what action to take with who.
should i distance myself from everyone to risk hurting people and myself? should i reach out to people but try to learn limits AS i do it, instead of BEFORE?
i miss dan but i want to be fair to him.
trevor likes me more than i thought he did, apparently. and he reads this. and he should stop reading right now even though i know he won't. i want to be something special in his eyes, i guess. and maybe we'd help each other tidy up with the traits we want to flush out of our systems. slowly.
and it's weird because i can't tell whether trevor has totally resurrected my hope, or whether he's like totally killed it. it's so weird. maybe he's done both.
and dan.
the sweet, kind, patient teddybear who may be learning the things i wanted him to learn. with my luck he'll be exactly the guy he'd been trying to be, and the one i dumped him because i thought he couldn't be, in about four months. and he won't want to take me back.
if he's the type of guy i want, then he'll stand his ground enough not to take me back after the shit i've done to him. another mindfuck.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i think i am literally unable to be single!!!!!!
how the hell do all you people do it?!