a line allows progress, a circle does not
you said, "i'm done feeling like a skeleton
no more sleep walking dead"
you're going to wake from this coma
you're going to crawl from this bed you have made
soa was probably one of the most incredible weekends i've ever had.
it was a reminder to me that i have to refuse to be complacent in this world. i've been privileged with voice, with middle class, with white skin, with education, etc. i am generally healthy, i have the resources available to me to take action.
there is nothing without action. seeing people in their 60s and 70s getting arrested for crossing under a fence erected by the U.S. military, dedicated to their activism, dedicated to their beliefs, was truely and utterly inspiring. i have so much farther to go in my life that i will gain with age and experience. i have nothing but the utmost respect for those fighting for their beliefs. even those whose beliefs i don't agree with i at least have a little respect for. because apathy and complacency is worse than facism to me. because i can fight facism. i can work to alter the communitites i live in. but apathy is dangerous, it accepts blindly and lends to the diseased culture that we are in. it wears a mask that everything is ok. but its not. sometimes life is beautiful and exciting and enriching and sometimes it is bloody and oppressive and scary. but it is never just ok. the human experience is too rich to just be ok. we must live our lives dedicated to those who worked and are still working to make it better. we must participate in our own liberation. we must assist those who need assistance in gaining their own liberation. but we are not meant to martyr ourselves or be anyone's savior. we must work in solitarity, recognizing our own downfalls and our own privileges in order to create spaces where we can all be safe in our own skin.
i don't believe any of this to be idealistic. i believe that it is completely realistic to envision a better world. as long as this vision comes with action and questions and criticism of the current systems it is more than just post-adolescent idealism. so thank you to all who help shape this vision, thank you to those who push my understanding of life as i know it, thank you for not being complacent and for never allowing me to be.
my fingers keep breaking,
bones cracking
under the weight of category,
binaries and boxes.
i keep hitting back, punching 'til my
knuckles bleed, rough sandpaper slices
through layers of skin.
this skin is privileged, owning land,
and education and space
without request. without desire.
so i teach myself to revoke this privilege,
dismantle this skin until identity blends and peels
and i am no longer a
tiny
checked
box.
but until then i carve my own spaces,
using nails and knives to locate this site of my skin,
this
whiteskinnedhalfjewpostbidykequeerfeministgenderfuckerfemalebodiedrapedresistorsurvivoractivistmiddleclassedcollegeeducatedracetraitorpostmedicatedoncehospitalizedbodymodifiedcurlyhairedloudmouthedanxioussilentangryfearfulragingbitchslutcuntbutchstraightpercievedpetiteframedablebodiedamerikkkanbornsuburbanraisedcitydwellermasochistictopswitchpostveganfisheatingvegetarianfamilylovedboi/grrl me.
my bones keep breaking, this foundation,
my nails embedded with blood and dirt,
i dig my way out of layers of words.
words tied to history, to politics, to location.
i build my own box
marked with holes, gouges where
fists and feet strike through,
spaces to breathe
to break
to fight.