I'm tired of it
One of my biggest problems is how easily I develop crushes. There's a new boy at work that my heart decided to be attracted to. He has a great body, he's adorable, he's sweet, he's funny, we can talk and have conversations that are not stilted. And he's the object of all my beautiful co-worker's affection. I am apparently completely transparent in my feelings toward him according to my co-workers. He talks to me a lot, and we work together on our side-work which is very very nice. I keep getting my hopes up, that the little touches and grins mean something. But that's just how he is. He unties my apron... then gladly ties it back. He whispers in my ear. He tells me I'm awesome. He teases me. He comes up behind me and rubs my shoulders when I'm ringing in an order, and I just want to throw him on the ground and attack him. But it's nothing to him, as far as I can tell.
I just wish my heart would learn to like the guys I can actually get, not the ones out of my league. I'm tired of hoping and hoping and hoping and tricking myself into believing things are possible, only to be shot down.
I live in a fairy tale, but I never get the happily ever after. Why can't I be Ariel? Belle? Cinderella? Even Aurora.
I have to stop trying to live dreams. They only become haunting nightmares.
Edit- I'm taking up jogging tomorrow morning. T-minus 6 hours until hell begins.
I just wish my heart would learn to like the guys I can actually get, not the ones out of my league. I'm tired of hoping and hoping and hoping and tricking myself into believing things are possible, only to be shot down.
I live in a fairy tale, but I never get the happily ever after. Why can't I be Ariel? Belle? Cinderella? Even Aurora.
I have to stop trying to live dreams. They only become haunting nightmares.
Edit- I'm taking up jogging tomorrow morning. T-minus 6 hours until hell begins.