My Rosencrabbe and Guildengoyle

[caboca]

Also among what I wanted to post:

- Why Elsha's Theo outawesomes Hamlet
- Why Sansa and Ophelia are both shockingly similar and shockingly different
- How highschool is ending and I am cool about it
- How I wanna have Horatio all night long
- What I got when I pwned my Republic English Competition
- Catbirthdayprompt whatwhat?

Instead, you get a meme.

Comments

My Mythology. Greek, cause that's how I swing.

[caboca]

1. The character most likely to fall in love with the wrong person: Pygmalion. He was extremely lucky it all worked out in the end - it generally doesn't. The whole "I am but an ugly martyr but somewhere in this big ol' slab is the perfect girl for me " thing leads to dangerous consequences, including but not limited to suicide, lithophilia, RealDolls and eternal loneliness. Or, you know, evil seductresses who use your brains to Take Over The World Mwuahaha while your Tomboyish And Thick-Glassesed Lab Assistant Shrivels Up In Unrequired Love for Your Ugly Martyr Arse.

2. The character whom I'm embarrassed to admit I adore: Holden Caulfield :P Srsly? Hermes. He's a lying cheating little horrid beast of a man, with no scruples and no sens e of divine decency. He also discovered NUMBERS. And science. And he's got the long-suffering sexiness of a rake who is sometimes noble and sometimes just not.

3. The character that would send me screaming in the opposite direction IRL despite being fascinating in fiction:
Minotaurus. I read a BRILLIANT story from his POV - by Borges, I think, and I couldn't do it justice by calling it tender or twisted or terrifyingly human. Read it, and be fascinated. Of course, should he be IRL, I'd have to sell my hymen stat.

4. The character with the most annoying personality quirks
Hera. Gosh, how I dislike that wench. She's so - petty in her constant chasing of Zeus's offspring and, you know, rape victims? Who are innocent except for having the wrong father or for having had sex with bulls/swans/gold rain. I wouldn't mind if she wasn't the goddess of marital harmony. She didn't exactly do her best to make Heracles's marriage happy, did she? She's the Cersei of Greek mythology: I see her point, but I hate her methods.

5. The character I most admire and why:
Not sure. Maybe Athena? Because she's not high-strung and fussy? "The most firgiving of the goddesses" and ready to dirty her hands quite thoroughly to help her pets and peoples? Maybe Prometheus because his heart was in the right place? (cue tasteless liver jokes)

6. The character with the worst temper: Poseidon. Quick to anger, needs ten goddamn years to forgive a lapse of judgement. [Well, Odysseus was a bit of a tool, blinding Pos Jr like t]

7. The character most likely to fail at everything> Phobus, the god of panic. I love him and hate him and EEEP IS THAT A BIRD ON MY WINDOWSILL? *flees* [Lookit, theoi.com says he's the son of Ares. Ares had some fuckedup sons.]

8. The pairings I prefer in canon: Odysseus/Penelope, Psyche/Eros, Andromeda/Perseus... I like that Amazon girl who would only marry whoever defeated her in a race, but I think their story ended badly.

9. The pairings I prefer in fanon: Athena/half the girlfs in NYU :P. I think I'd also like Apollo/Artemis. It's not like OMG INCEST is a bad thing among gods and the two seem to genunely like and love each other, which is more than one could say for 70% of the romantic couplings-off throughout the mythology. Also... HP!Remus/nymph!diary!Daphne. Shuddup, I was thirteen and this was before there was a Tonks. Still think it would have made a cute story btw. With horcruxsex.

10. The character with the most personal growth in canon: Aside from the obvious answer of Persephone, I'd have to say Psyche. Psyche gots a development arc, she does. I have a lovely book of mythology, by thos Czechslovakian dudes, and I remember thinking how much they liked Psyche - that entry was very detailed, very vivid, very descriptive. Psyche is cooler than Cinderella and whosit, because she's got an actual goal, an ambition, ya know? And it's an unselfish one: love. She goes from tricked-by-wicked-sisters to flogged-by-Lady-Love and in the end, she wins Eros back. I never feel he rescued her - he just waited until she became mature enough to handle being immortal with him.

Re: My Mythology. Greek, cause that's how I swing.

[ehnel]

"HP!Remus/nymph!diary!Daphne"

?? ahahaha?!al;dfk

PSYCHE WOOHOO

ATHENE WOOHOO

Re: My Mythology. Greek, cause that's how I swing.

[caboca]

Hmm, lemme reconstruct you the beginning.

My name is Remus Lupin. I am nineteen, I am straight and I don't know what to do with a diary.

Origami?

Wh -- who are you?

My name is Daphne, and I am your diary, Master.

Sirius?

Daphne. Unless you'd prefer me to change my name. One of my previous owner called me ink-wright.

Owner? Was is a Black, maybe?

I'm not allowed to talk about my old owners, forgive me.

Sirius gave me you for my birthday, he said he found you on his attic. I'm... oh dear. You're not a joke, then?

I'm afraid not.

Well, this is awkward.

Except the dialogue was less lame. And he wrote in her forevermore - there were excerpts for when his friends died, for when he was drunk and womanless etc, and slowly they developed a crush on each other. And by crush I mean creepy supernatural emotional dependance. And he fell into her memories, wherein a triple-chinned Muggle slave owner chased and chased and chased her and she Transfigured herself into a laurel tree, but then some nasty wizard law got interfered and punished her with becoming a book. Meanwhile, Remus's Patronus became a laurel tree. Hah. I'm not sure how that worked.

Then it all culminated in the end of PoA, he turned a werewolf, lost Sirius and was all woe is me and then she said "Remus, open your soul to me," and then she became corporeal ala Tom Riddle, but she feeded off on Remus's energy, so they had to have very quick sex with perfect balance of life/energy least they both DIE.
sasdsadisadhuasdhu dude, I wish I'd written this.