there's got to be a limit on the amount of pain one person can tolerate...
Ugh.
I honestly don't even know where to begin.
Colleen made her Facebook status message, "Wowww:("
So, I commented, asking if everything was okay.
Some dude named Matt joined in and they began talking.
I asked again, what I missed and if everything was okay.
Matt goes, "don't fucking worry about it."
"Wow. Fine... No need to get bitchy. Sheesh."
He replys, "Just stay out of it Jessika, your sympathy is unwanted."
So, I officially hate Matt.
But, anyway...
Colleen feels guilty that Josh feels like crap, and Josh is all pissed and regretful for ever asking Colleen out in the first place, and she's not eating, and he's not eating, and he's completely over her, but he still loves her and his heart can't let go, and she says that she could see Josh and I dating...
*sigh*
Her status message gained a total of 44 comments. And that's just from 10 tonight (3.11.10). I'm scared for tomorrow. Oh, and only Josh, Colleen, Matt, some girl named Anne, and I contributed to the thread.
Matt's an ass and he and Josh got into it (he zoned in on attacking Josh) and Josh is all pathetic and depressed, Colleen is all sad, Anne is randomly off topic (probably trying to make it better) and I was just trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
But back to the main reason why I began posting this post.
Josh wasn't responding to my IM's. Nor was he posting on the thread. His status message from 4 hours ago was, "Is done beyond all standards, this is where I give up. I can't take this anymore". Oh, yeah, he also posted this ("Yea well fine, goodbye. I'm sorry that I make you feel like shit. Sorry I ever hurt you. Just remember that you didn't say that you liked two different girls. Now that's all I'm going to say."), on the famous thread. All this information, plus my brain, equaled one thing: suicide. So, I pulled out Josh's (my Josh) phone and called him... It rang, like, 8 times before he finally picked up. Then, I was all, "Oh, thank God. You scared the shit outta me." And, since I had never called him before, (actually, I did, but it didn't go through... I think he was texting...), he didn't know who I was.
In the end, we talked for 23 minutes and 3 seconds. I cried. I'm pretty sure he did too.
I don't know why everything has to be so hard, all the time, but I'm sick of it. I'm sick of trying to keep everything together for everyone. I'm sick of being so stressed. I'm sick of trying to stay positive when I know the end result isn't going to be what I want it to be. I'm sick of watching everyone hurt. I'm sick of nothing going right. I am sick of the fucking high school drama shit. I'm sick of being stuck in friggin' Wisconsin.
He and I talked about running away. He informed me that nothing good comes out of it (he tried once). I told him that if it gets bad, we can always go to a psych hospital together. We wouldn't be roomies (since boy/girl is against protcol), but we'd be BFF's. "All the other psycho's would be jealous of our business." <-- My words.
Uh, what else was I going to say... Crap.
...
God, what was it?
SHIT! This is going to KILL me!
Fuck it. I give up. If I remember, I'll add it on to here.
Damn!
(This isn't it, but I just remembered that Mom got a job! She's gonna work at Walmart. The night shift! I'm so proud! This is great! (Even though it sounds really lame...) We finally have an income! It's been over 2 years! YAY!)
I honestly don't even know where to begin.
Colleen made her Facebook status message, "Wowww:("
So, I commented, asking if everything was okay.
Some dude named Matt joined in and they began talking.
I asked again, what I missed and if everything was okay.
Matt goes, "don't fucking worry about it."
"Wow. Fine... No need to get bitchy. Sheesh."
He replys, "Just stay out of it Jessika, your sympathy is unwanted."
So, I officially hate Matt.
But, anyway...
Colleen feels guilty that Josh feels like crap, and Josh is all pissed and regretful for ever asking Colleen out in the first place, and she's not eating, and he's not eating, and he's completely over her, but he still loves her and his heart can't let go, and she says that she could see Josh and I dating...
*sigh*
Her status message gained a total of 44 comments. And that's just from 10 tonight (3.11.10). I'm scared for tomorrow. Oh, and only Josh, Colleen, Matt, some girl named Anne, and I contributed to the thread.
Matt's an ass and he and Josh got into it (he zoned in on attacking Josh) and Josh is all pathetic and depressed, Colleen is all sad, Anne is randomly off topic (probably trying to make it better) and I was just trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
But back to the main reason why I began posting this post.
Josh wasn't responding to my IM's. Nor was he posting on the thread. His status message from 4 hours ago was, "Is done beyond all standards, this is where I give up. I can't take this anymore". Oh, yeah, he also posted this ("Yea well fine, goodbye. I'm sorry that I make you feel like shit. Sorry I ever hurt you. Just remember that you didn't say that you liked two different girls. Now that's all I'm going to say."), on the famous thread. All this information, plus my brain, equaled one thing: suicide. So, I pulled out Josh's (my Josh) phone and called him... It rang, like, 8 times before he finally picked up. Then, I was all, "Oh, thank God. You scared the shit outta me." And, since I had never called him before, (actually, I did, but it didn't go through... I think he was texting...), he didn't know who I was.
In the end, we talked for 23 minutes and 3 seconds. I cried. I'm pretty sure he did too.
I don't know why everything has to be so hard, all the time, but I'm sick of it. I'm sick of trying to keep everything together for everyone. I'm sick of being so stressed. I'm sick of trying to stay positive when I know the end result isn't going to be what I want it to be. I'm sick of watching everyone hurt. I'm sick of nothing going right. I am sick of the fucking high school drama shit. I'm sick of being stuck in friggin' Wisconsin.
He and I talked about running away. He informed me that nothing good comes out of it (he tried once). I told him that if it gets bad, we can always go to a psych hospital together. We wouldn't be roomies (since boy/girl is against protcol), but we'd be BFF's. "All the other psycho's would be jealous of our business." <-- My words.
Uh, what else was I going to say... Crap.
...
God, what was it?
SHIT! This is going to KILL me!
Fuck it. I give up. If I remember, I'll add it on to here.
Damn!
(This isn't it, but I just remembered that Mom got a job! She's gonna work at Walmart. The night shift! I'm so proud! This is great! (Even though it sounds really lame...) We finally have an income! It's been over 2 years! YAY!)