Its that time of day again...
Stolen from vamp926.
Day 01 → Your favorite song
Day 02 → Your favorite movie
Day 03 → Your favorite television program
Day 04 → Your favorite book
Day 05 → Your favorite quote
Day 06 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 → A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 → A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 → A photo you took
Day 10 → A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 → A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 → A fictional book
Day 14 → A non-fictional book
Day 15 → A fanfic
Day 16 → A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 → An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 → A talent of yours
Day 20 → A hobby of yours
Day 21 → A recipe
Day 22 → A website
Day 23 → A YouTube video
Day 24 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 → Your day, in great detail
Day 26 → Your week, in great detail
Day 27 → This month, in great detail
Day 28 → This year, in great detail
Day 29 → Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 → Whatever tickles your fancy
This is going to be a somewhat depressing post. I'm in a mood. We went out to dinner with my aunt, uncle and cousin tonight because they were in town. I got my birthday gifts from them too. This all sounds like its a positive, right? You'd think so. At dinner, aunt and uncle were talking to my parents and cousin were talking to the bros. I was left out. Its ridiculous how little it takes for me to feel bad. I just felt like no one cared. When I'm not talking, it gives me time to think. Thinking is good, sometimes, but lately its not a positive thing. I thought about how everyone my age is in a relationship, and how I'm not. Its depressing. Here I am, 17. Ive never been kissed. Never been asked out by a decent guy. I say it this way because two creeper dudes have asked me out. Over IM, nonetheless. I'd barely known them at the time. We'd talked a grand total of three times. How well can you possibly know someone after three short instant message conversations? Anyway, I just feel alone. It sucks. I know I'm loved, but sometimes I don't. Sometimes I just don't see the point in life anymore. I've thought about ending it. Tons more than I should. I know the effects of suicide, and I swear to god that I'll never put anyone I love through it, but sometimes its a comforting thought. Just leaving. No more drama. No more heartache. No more troubles. I know its not an option, but I can't help but think of it sometimes. Writing this, I'm dreding the reactions that you are going to have. I've heard it all before. I'm sorry if I upset anyone, but I need to get this off my chest. It may not make sense out in the open to an outsider, but it sure makes sense in my crazy head. I know this isn't a 'positive' thing, but it tickles my fancy. And it is my journal. I can post whatever the hell I want to... I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow. My mood swings are asshats.
*EDIT* My family has a history of depression. Tons on my moms side, and my dad was severely depressed. I believe I've been diagnosed with depression, so this isn't just your typical 'life sucks teen phase'. Even though I am a teen...
Oh, I'm on medication for my ADD and stuff, and side effects are mood swings if you miss your dose, but still. No one should ever have to feel this shitty.
I just spend about an hour reading MLIA and I feel a little better. Not a whole lot, but better than I was.
Day 01 → Your favorite song
Day 02 → Your favorite movie
Day 03 → Your favorite television program
Day 04 → Your favorite book
Day 05 → Your favorite quote
Day 06 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 → A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 → A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 → A photo you took
Day 10 → A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 → A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 → A fictional book
Day 14 → A non-fictional book
Day 15 → A fanfic
Day 16 → A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 → An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 → A talent of yours
Day 20 → A hobby of yours
Day 21 → A recipe
Day 22 → A website
Day 23 → A YouTube video
Day 24 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 → Your day, in great detail
Day 26 → Your week, in great detail
Day 27 → This month, in great detail
Day 28 → This year, in great detail
Day 29 → Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 → Whatever tickles your fancy
This is going to be a somewhat depressing post. I'm in a mood. We went out to dinner with my aunt, uncle and cousin tonight because they were in town. I got my birthday gifts from them too. This all sounds like its a positive, right? You'd think so. At dinner, aunt and uncle were talking to my parents and cousin were talking to the bros. I was left out. Its ridiculous how little it takes for me to feel bad. I just felt like no one cared. When I'm not talking, it gives me time to think. Thinking is good, sometimes, but lately its not a positive thing. I thought about how everyone my age is in a relationship, and how I'm not. Its depressing. Here I am, 17. Ive never been kissed. Never been asked out by a decent guy. I say it this way because two creeper dudes have asked me out. Over IM, nonetheless. I'd barely known them at the time. We'd talked a grand total of three times. How well can you possibly know someone after three short instant message conversations? Anyway, I just feel alone. It sucks. I know I'm loved, but sometimes I don't. Sometimes I just don't see the point in life anymore. I've thought about ending it. Tons more than I should. I know the effects of suicide, and I swear to god that I'll never put anyone I love through it, but sometimes its a comforting thought. Just leaving. No more drama. No more heartache. No more troubles. I know its not an option, but I can't help but think of it sometimes. Writing this, I'm dreding the reactions that you are going to have. I've heard it all before. I'm sorry if I upset anyone, but I need to get this off my chest. It may not make sense out in the open to an outsider, but it sure makes sense in my crazy head. I know this isn't a 'positive' thing, but it tickles my fancy. And it is my journal. I can post whatever the hell I want to... I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow. My mood swings are asshats.
*EDIT* My family has a history of depression. Tons on my moms side, and my dad was severely depressed. I believe I've been diagnosed with depression, so this isn't just your typical 'life sucks teen phase'. Even though I am a teen...
Oh, I'm on medication for my ADD and stuff, and side effects are mood swings if you miss your dose, but still. No one should ever have to feel this shitty.
I just spend about an hour reading MLIA and I feel a little better. Not a whole lot, but better than I was.