As I fly back to Portland,I wonder what will unfold to me in my life.
As I fly back to Portland,I wonder what will unfold to me in my life. I was arbitrarily happy in Ocean View Hawaii, bugt that just isn't going to cut it for me. I can be only partially happy, or I can be completely happy with the way my life is going. I know that if I am doing something I completely believe in, I will be completely happy...b ut if not, I will always doubt my own actions...which I don't want to do. Here, from 36,000 feet, I address the issues that have been standing before me whilst I have continued to remain ignorant. The issue I face is that of this last year; my being with a married woman. She is technically separated--yes--but this means nothing to me because she never made ANY attempt to even be legally separated. For all I know, she was still married to the guy...other than what she said. I had to continue to put her in her place regarding what she was doing...and that bothered us both. Finally, on the way to the airport, she told me that I wasn't the first one this happened to...there was also another man before me. So then, it becomes apparent that she will continue to go through men--one by one--making them less capable of their potential by being with them instead. Now, this brings it to my current state; am I any better? I have been doing this myself to an extent. Lynn was really after me...but why? Sure, she is lonely and wants a nice buff guy. Sure, she wants to do her business that she believes in because that was the only way she could be rescued from Indonesia and move to Hawaii and marry that man Jim. Sure, it all makes sense that she became stimulated by my subtle friendly advances that I seem not to be able to control...because from my perspective there is no difference between Linn and Kristina in that they are both legally married and are estranged from their husbands. These aren't even their first husbands--so are they are ruined completely? Well I shouldn't bother with that answer; even if I believe that The Word Of God says so.
So what do I do now? Wait for my house to sell and be free of the place called Hawighya? I plan on it. This is a big step in my life, much as many of the steps I've recently taken have been big ones. I look into my old career, and notice there are more and more movies taking place that I feel I would have been involved in, but was not because of my decision to move to Hawaii. Should I make a move? You bet. What should that move be? I know the answer...it's where my passion lies, it's where my entire life has led me. Everything in my being leads me along this path. Patience is something I have learned by being here on the Big Island...and patience is what I needed most. With patience, God can perform his most perfect work through me.
Speaking of God, Yahweh, King of the Universe...this person whose image I am created, that only through belief in Him can I achieve my life dream. If I am doing something contrary to this belief, how do I expect to achieve the desires of my heart? Rhetorically put, I cannot. Instead I must stay diligent to what I believe in--and that is to SELL THE HOUSE--MOVE back to OREGON--both physically, AND MENTALLY. Kristina could not believe how "topsy turvy" I had become, and I am glad to finally tell her as to why. Lynn came to see me...but she is no different than Kristina, and it broke my heart to communicate that to her, even non verbally by my nonverbal cues. God gave me enough strength to not sleep with her that final night...and for that I am so grateful!
I feel empowered now to do THE PLAN. What is this plan I speak of? Plan of the Skybolt reactor? Or the plan of Market America?? The phrase "THE PLAN" has been taken over in my short-term memory thanks to my voluntarily watching many of these Market America videos... which this company I've invested in. Do I believe these products will help me? Yes I do. Do I want to promote these products and integrate that with the plan of a new nuclear technology to replace fossil fuel? You bet I do. How do I intend on doing that? By resourcing my skills together with my connections in Oregon. The house will sell, and I will use that money for my future quest.
Speaking of future quest, I will load my spreadsheet:
$38 thousand 172 dollars 99 cents. That is my take-home dollar amount if I sell my house.
38 grand ain't much--but it's something. It sure is more than I had before--16 grand--and it's a starting point, albeit only little. How can I take 38 grand and turn it into a million? Let's do a CD equation: 4% compound interest compounded annually:
38k*1.04 (damn I forgot the formula--I gotta find my math notebook!)
I have to piss, there is a loud ass squawking baby that WON'T SHUT THE HECK UP...my seat neighbor is a Maui native and has lived here since the 60's...and I'm sure he has many wild stories to tell. He only told me one story so far....but now it appears that we will not be talking too much at all over the next 4 hours.
It seems so crazy to think I am changing 3 time zones. It doesn't even seem like my day started...yet I look outside the 767-400's window and see the sun setting behind me in a sea of crimson clouds. I took two pictures of the sky. It's 5:30 PM now in Hawaii...but 8:30 PM where I'm going. It's the weirdest thing to see happening...I can only imagine what it's like going to SE Asia! Only my dad would know. Indiana Sanders....He must write that book!
So what do I do now? Wait for my house to sell and be free of the place called Hawighya? I plan on it. This is a big step in my life, much as many of the steps I've recently taken have been big ones. I look into my old career, and notice there are more and more movies taking place that I feel I would have been involved in, but was not because of my decision to move to Hawaii. Should I make a move? You bet. What should that move be? I know the answer...it's where my passion lies, it's where my entire life has led me. Everything in my being leads me along this path. Patience is something I have learned by being here on the Big Island...and patience is what I needed most. With patience, God can perform his most perfect work through me.
Speaking of God, Yahweh, King of the Universe...this person whose image I am created, that only through belief in Him can I achieve my life dream. If I am doing something contrary to this belief, how do I expect to achieve the desires of my heart? Rhetorically put, I cannot. Instead I must stay diligent to what I believe in--and that is to SELL THE HOUSE--MOVE back to OREGON--both physically, AND MENTALLY. Kristina could not believe how "topsy turvy" I had become, and I am glad to finally tell her as to why. Lynn came to see me...but she is no different than Kristina, and it broke my heart to communicate that to her, even non verbally by my nonverbal cues. God gave me enough strength to not sleep with her that final night...and for that I am so grateful!
I feel empowered now to do THE PLAN. What is this plan I speak of? Plan of the Skybolt reactor? Or the plan of Market America?? The phrase "THE PLAN" has been taken over in my short-term memory thanks to my voluntarily watching many of these Market America videos... which this company I've invested in. Do I believe these products will help me? Yes I do. Do I want to promote these products and integrate that with the plan of a new nuclear technology to replace fossil fuel? You bet I do. How do I intend on doing that? By resourcing my skills together with my connections in Oregon. The house will sell, and I will use that money for my future quest.
Speaking of future quest, I will load my spreadsheet:
$38 thousand 172 dollars 99 cents. That is my take-home dollar amount if I sell my house.
38 grand ain't much--but it's something. It sure is more than I had before--16 grand--and it's a starting point, albeit only little. How can I take 38 grand and turn it into a million? Let's do a CD equation: 4% compound interest compounded annually:
38k*1.04 (damn I forgot the formula--I gotta find my math notebook!)
I have to piss, there is a loud ass squawking baby that WON'T SHUT THE HECK UP...my seat neighbor is a Maui native and has lived here since the 60's...and I'm sure he has many wild stories to tell. He only told me one story so far....but now it appears that we will not be talking too much at all over the next 4 hours.
It seems so crazy to think I am changing 3 time zones. It doesn't even seem like my day started...yet I look outside the 767-400's window and see the sun setting behind me in a sea of crimson clouds. I took two pictures of the sky. It's 5:30 PM now in Hawaii...but 8:30 PM where I'm going. It's the weirdest thing to see happening...I can only imagine what it's like going to SE Asia! Only my dad would know. Indiana Sanders....He must write that book!