5x16: A (Slightly Ridiculous) Dair-Centered Photo-Recap
5x16: GG Writers Love Dair for Dair
AKA We're Canon, B*tches
Okay, so since there appear to be some people willing to partake in my Dair-sanity, I figured I'd give this another shot.
(Screencaps from: Youknowyouloveme.org)
Dair-Babies: This is not a Drill! Apparently this episode actually happened (?) Excuse me while I have my cliche, music crescendo-ing, spin-around romance moment, because...
(credit: http://alittlefragile.tumblr.com/)
MONDAY'S EPISODE ACTUALLY HAPPENED, Y'ALL.
That is all...
(....well not really). So, basically let it be pronounced CANON that Blair Waldorf is Dan's muse. Seriously, whenever these two (finally) make love, I'm expecting him to release, like, an entire encyclopedia set or something.
True dysfunction-ahem, I mean love. EPIC. LOVE.
So, hate to say this, but Blair (at least) deserved this. Not because she's a bad person, but because her denial is currently presenting her as a bad friend. Also, Irony Alert! Blair's looking in the mirror, but not really, you know really looking into the mirror, ya dig? (See, this re-cap can be meta. j/k, y'all it can't and neither can GG, and that's why I love it.)
Previously on the Time Traveler's Humphrey...
"What are you doing here?"
"Traveling back in time to ship you and Blair."
Seriously, I'm not even fan-wanking at this point: the Rufus/Lily/Dan/Blair parallels are, you guessed it, hon, canon. I don't even know where to begin with this scene? The fact that the loft has become like a literal intersection/ wormhole of the R/L/D/B universe? The fact that he's hiding clothes from Lily, his "woman with taste" and then uses it as a transition to Dan's "woman with taste"? The fact that, Dan's witty joke aside, they're both wearing fugly coats their significant others would discard of? I'm just DEAD, just DEAD basically.
Speaking of (painful) deaths...
....Okay, that's mean. I love Dan, but I'd rather be sold for a hotel than read this thing.
But, more importantly, while Dan isn't printing out proposals with bad, straight-out-of-the 90s Clip Art graphics, we're given some good P.O.V.:
"If we're not going to be more than friends, it's too hard to be just friends..."
I know some were disheartened that Dan kind of put a limit on their friendship this ep. But, as someone who's seen enough eternally-wounded-puppy-with-cancer looks from Dan to last a lifetime, I get it. And respect it.
Serena: You know what they say: Breakfast's the most important meal (of the worst day of your life). Seriously, even non Serena fans must have sympathy for her this ep, right?
Also, how deliciously vindicating is it to see Blair's denial being completely deconstructed this episode? I love how Blair said that she's "Not sure what came over her." Canon, B*s: Blair is completely overcome/swept away in emotions for Dan, and I. LOVE. IT.
Oops, sorry. I must have accidentally posted a screen cap from another show. Seriously, does anyone know who this character is? (::whispers 'I miss you, Nate'::)
It's a weird, weird world, when Serena and I are on the same page, but this was basically my expression the whole time Blair was blabbering out her denial. Also, more Canon, B*: We basically had Blair confess that her and Dan's banter, etc is a cover for much deeper feelings:
"I'll point out the sadness of his hair, clothing (The Time Traveler's Humphrey, y'all), Brooklyn roots, and he will decry my constructive criticism as snobbery. We'll share our views on recent French cinema..."
And, because it's pretty much confirmed that everything that's coming out of her mouth regarding Dan is untrue: "There will be no kissing!" (smirk)
Whoops, sorry, won't happen again.
Moving on, because now the real fun begins...
The Dair Folder! I so ship it, basically. Excuse me while I fanwank, but as far as I'm concerned, the folder is being reciprocated, and so are the feelings. (See, I told you, we're being meta today).
Seriously, I just adore this scene. The way they're both so unraveled (in different ways) to see each other. (Could Blair's voice get any breathier; could Dan look any tenser?)
Also, remember this? Remember HER?...
The Bitch is Back, and I love her. I loved the whole scene where she goes off on Charlotte. I loved the that she called them "us." Most of all, I love how awesome our ship's (Penn's/Leigh's) dynamic is. There's just this fresh energy they bring to all their scenes together.
On, honey. Treasure your smiles while they last, treasure your smiles while they last...
And also, because even in a Dair-centered recap, I'd feel completely irresponsible for not acknowledging this...
There. Happy? Now leave me alone, I'm not a journalist. I don't have like, a degree in this.
Back to dair...
"Excuse us, while we be perfect together..."
Seriously, where is the flaw in this ship? I'm seriously up for suggestions on this, because as far as I can see, they are the perfect combination of hot, sweet, loving, adorable, everything. They are straight out of so many classic romance movies, it's ridiculous.
"Shhh, we're not done being adorable."
Again, Penn's and Leigh's comedic timing is top-notch. So many lol-worthy moments. And her comparing him to a DOG? I'm dead. You could see all the frustration (on multiple levels building for Dan) in this scene, so it should be no surprise this happens...
(LOL)...love how Dan goes from "No, leave me alone," to "Okay, I'm down" in .02 seconds.
"I'm Melt-TING, I'm Melt-TING"-Blair and every other fangirl at this moment.
Seriously, Dan's LOOK in this scene. It's like somethings snaps for him...
...And apparently Blair. I can't spend too much time here. 1) Because it's hard too type when you're currently a puddle and it can't be good for the keyboard; 2) Because (most of us) already spent a week fangirling over this in the preview. But, I will say this: Canon, B*: Dan and Blair are passionately, oh and did I mention passionately, into each other.
"Oh, oh yeah, I get it. In my country, that's how we say 'hello.'"
LOL. Seriously, did Serena, like, build a house on an old Native American burial site--is she cursed? This whole episode was like a horrible version of "Groundhog Day". But, sigh, at least her day won't get any worse....(oh, wait...damn, girl...damn).
Meanwhile, Serena pushes past an extra on set.
"Where am I? Who am I? What is this tingling sensation?"
Seriously, she looked like Lois Lane after one of those super-suction-memory-wiping Superman kisses. Also, as others have pointed out, love that our couple banters even before/during/after hot make out sessions.
Blair: "It's not my fault--I told you not to build that house on the Native American Graveyard, Serena!"
haha, seriously, I love this moment. Maybe only second to the book-reading scene, this is the moment where we really begin to see the walls of denial crumbling around Blair. There's this moment where Blair literally looks like a robot malfunctioning. She's stuttering, shaking her head, unable to process it, because it doesn't compute. There's Louis and Chuck and Serena--all of her reasons for denial.
Also, more canon for ya'll: Blair admits she's "suppressing" her emotions, which surprises...oh, wait, no one, lol (except maybe Chair fans). Speaking of...
Chair Sex. (I know I shouldn't, but I did).
LOVE. This scene. The fact that Blair basically dismisses this guy and he obliges on the grounds of her mere awesomeness? Check. The fact that Dan (in one of his sexiest moments), puts his foot down about her whining? Check. (Even Blair looks impressed by this). The fact that Dan lays it on the line, not because he's a jerk, but because it's agonizingly obvious that Blair's denying their connection? Check. Freakin. Plus.
Serena: "Is this MY LIFE?"
Well, at least her day can't any worse, right?...Oh, wait...damn, girl...damn...
One word: Basshole.
Okay, more than one word. He left a FREAKING MARK? Who is he? Like an evil magician or something? I mean, isn't that what, like, serial killers do? Seriously, I'm not a Chuck hater, but I just CAN'T with him sometimes.
Forget this mess, on to the important part...
"Dan loves me for me."
Excuse me, there's something in my eye.
::Romantic Running:: (Squee, if you read my last re-cap, you know how much I love this)
But, for real, y'all: This sh** just. Got. REAL.
Blair finally reading the effin' book? Check.
The writers confirming our (dair fans) understanding of Chair, Blerena, and Dair? Check.
The writers confirming that Dan really does "peer into her soul" and completely get her character? Check.
The writers proving that Dan and Blair have been in the making for five f*n years? Check.
Blair realizing that a man loves her--no games, no tricks--without having to hear three-words-eight letters? Check. F*n. Plus.
Again, this is not a drill: Dan wrote this. HE WROTE an ENTIRE BOOK ABOUT BLAIR and their (hopeful) LOVE for each other!
And, Blair?
Finally. Wakes. Up!
Dair fans The Audience: Applause!!!
Humdrum Humphrey: "WINNING!"
UGH. I love this scene. I love how Dan is the REAL definition of masculinity, imo: Not chauvinistic or possessive, but when he needs to, he will step. the. F. Up. I find this so much sexier than the fake Batman routine Chuck's trying to pull.
(Side note: For those of you who don't see the P and P parallels. Please immediately leave this page and go rent P and P: 2005 version).
Serena: "F U, basically."
Again, I am not the biggest Serena fan all the time, but I do like her. And, I think she had MORE THAN THE RIGHT to go off on ChIvy. She took money to pretend to be family, came into their home, and then (at least in Serena's view) kept them from their dying Grandmother. Seriously, dair fans, can we give this girl a break this week?
Well, at least her day can't get any worse...
I'm Melt-TING.
Someone please hold me. No seriously, for real, call the ambulance or something and come hold me. I just CAN'T. with these two. There are too many beautiful things to count about this scene. But let me just say this: In the last book scene, Blair realized mentally that Dan loves her for her. But, in this scene she sees and feels and hears and really, really for the first time GETS it. It's not the first time Dan has been this doting and wonderful, but it is the first time, Blair has sighed: "Humphrey."
So in sum: Don't bother with the ambulance. I'm already dead.
Again, please, let's give Serena a freakin' round of applause here. Has she been ridiculous in the past? YES. But who HASN'T on this show? And, honestly, I don't know of anyone who would so easily step aside like that for a friend. Except Blair. Which is what makes this tragically dysfunctional friendship salvageable, imo.
Also, we pretty much get confirmation via the whole "obstacles monologue" that dair is in it to win it, yo!
Blair: Wait, wtf?
Serena: Don't even ask. ::sigh:: At least my day can't get any worse.
Meanwhile, Blair has some business to attend to...
"If you target him...I will cut you. And your whole family."
BAMF.
Look, I don't know how the hell Blair found out about Chuck, and I don't CARE. All I know is that, Mama Bear can hold down the fort, yo! I just love how protective and supportive she was of Dan. (I really want to see more of this).
Also, in other news:
Chuck: Did your feelings change?
Blair: No...I don't know.
Why are you still trying to dial 9-1-1? I'm already ::dead::
Eye Love Making...
..and making.
Seriously, with these two! Blair honestly, like objectively (like even my Chair friend commented on this) looks like she wants to jump him right then and there. And, Dan? Well, Dan's been horny for her for like a year, so what's new? (lol)
I also love her voice and tone, everything in this scene. Leighton is really a great actress. The affection and the way she says "that's great, Dan" and the body language-- everything is different here. Blair is completely unguarded and completely smitten.
I also love that she didn't even feel the need to tell him that she'd stuck up for him. (Just like Dan didn't feel the need to tell her that he came to her essay contest. Squee.)
"I'm going home. No-n-no reason I'm mentioning this. please come with me and have my babies."
"Okay--oh, wait, yeah, there's another plotline...darn."
Really glad she's such a good friend to Serena here and the show was explicit in stating her reasons for staying. Because, let's be honest, with the break-neck pace of this show, it's hard for Blair's character not to take some shots.
Okay, that's all for this re-cap. Thanks for reading :)
j/k, ya'll, j/k.
GUH. This is honestly MAY BE my favorite kiss between these two. For so many reasons: It's completely mutual and initiated by Blair. It's endearingly sweet, affectioniate, shy, and sexy all at once. It's Blair letting Dan know, for the first time EVER, "I want this. I want you. I appreciate all that you are for me."
Also, side note:
As I posted on fan forum: "I don't think Blair's literally trying to discard of her ring or anything, but all I'm saying is, once the ring passes the knuckle, it's no longer fiddling, it's subtext."
Humdrum Humphrey: Winning!
Serena: F. this IS my life.
I ain't even mad at Serena here. Just because you're stepping aside, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
Well, at least my day can't get any worse...right? RIGHT?
GG writers, you bastards!
(Seriously, though, I think there's more here than it seems).
Oh, and in case you were wondering how Serena's day turns out....?
"Better luck next life?"
But let's not end on a bad note:
Okay, that's it :) Thanks so much for reading. I'd love to hear any of your comments/thoughts.
We're CANON!