Trying something new
I've been debating on blogging again. Not that I would know how to get it advertised or anything or get readers. I just know how to write really. Or at least I like to think that I like to write. Still, confidence is good isn't it?
I've been thinking about a lot of things, but first things first. The reason I've decided to begin blogging regularly is because a couple of weeks back, I read this blog post about a guy who decided to write a little bit every day of the month on his blog, and then kept going with it. He went on about how it changed his perspective about writing, about himself, and of course, what he was writing.
I'm hoping it will do the same for me, mostly I'm hoping that if I get into a routine every other day or so to write a blog post, that I'll be able to write more on my actual book. Well, the book is finished. I'm stuck now attempting to write the second draft of it. And yes I know how to edit and I have no problem with that. The problem lies is that I've lost my ability to write consistently since I finished it. I took a break after I completed Skin of Glass because I had been writing at least 2,500 thousand words every day, for over three months. I've written a lot in my life, but that amount was new to me so yes, I did feel a bit drained, and accomplished, so that combined into a break that has lasted since February.
Though I'm not going to lie, I got a bit distracted with trash tv, especially TLC.
So here is to hoping that the regularity of writing blog posts will result into me writing more on Skin of Glass, and to do so here I'm aiming to perhaps also talk about the progress a little bit. Maybe that will motivate me.
And maybe, blogging in general will help me sort my thoughts out more and leave them sorted out, rather than cumulating in my head.
Anyhow, on to what I was thinking of talking about today. The new and latest trailer for the remake of Stephen King's IT came out today, and as expected it is bloody terrifying. And it's also making me realise how different I react to media these days, stories and films.
For these strains of thought, we'll have to backtrack a bit. I'm not going to beat around the bush here, I was heavily depressed from about the age of twelve up to about twenty-three without realising just how ill I actually was. And now, two and a half years after finally becoming healthy, I still find myself marveling at realisations of how sick i was, and how that disabled me from seeing things, especially reacting to things.
Now don't misunderstand me. I saw things, and I reacted to things, but it's different when you're that sick. You see it all, you react to it, but everything is so numbed down, that now you realise you were really not reacting at all, and that you were scarily indifferent to things. This is a realisation where the trailer of IT comes in, and how it's made me think the past 24 hours since seeing it.
It's terrifying, and I would have found that back then as well, but now it's different. Then I would have found it eerie at best, but I still would have watched it with a blank expression. Now I feel a different sensation, I feel the terror, I feel the dread, I feel that paralysing sensation when what you fear is slowly, surely gliding over the floor making that dragging noise towards you and I understand the fear of being to scared to move.
When I read, I saw the imagery in my imagination, thought "oh that's a neat image" and kept reading. Now I'm shifting in my couch, my bed, I'm grimacing and my heart begins beating that slight bit harder as my mind begins playing it's tricks on my mind and I'm feeling the ghostly pressure of it's hands on my bedsheets crawling up behind my book.
I'm starting to fear again, and it's as refreshing as it is terrifying.
It's definitely giving me a lot of joy in rereading all of my old books that I read in this daze, and I'm looking forward (but at the same time not really) to meeting all the villains again, all the monsters and the ghosts and feel them truly come after me for once.
Depression is a weird thing, and it's surprising how much you learn about yourself when you're out of it and finally becoming you. And for me it's a weird experience. People grow to become who they truly are in their teens and grow their personalities and begin to shape as a person. I missed all of that. And now I'm halfway through my twenties and now I'm being shaped. It's interesting, because I'm seeing it through the eyes of an adult.
I wouldn't change it for the world however.
I've been thinking about a lot of things, but first things first. The reason I've decided to begin blogging regularly is because a couple of weeks back, I read this blog post about a guy who decided to write a little bit every day of the month on his blog, and then kept going with it. He went on about how it changed his perspective about writing, about himself, and of course, what he was writing.
I'm hoping it will do the same for me, mostly I'm hoping that if I get into a routine every other day or so to write a blog post, that I'll be able to write more on my actual book. Well, the book is finished. I'm stuck now attempting to write the second draft of it. And yes I know how to edit and I have no problem with that. The problem lies is that I've lost my ability to write consistently since I finished it. I took a break after I completed Skin of Glass because I had been writing at least 2,500 thousand words every day, for over three months. I've written a lot in my life, but that amount was new to me so yes, I did feel a bit drained, and accomplished, so that combined into a break that has lasted since February.
Though I'm not going to lie, I got a bit distracted with trash tv, especially TLC.
So here is to hoping that the regularity of writing blog posts will result into me writing more on Skin of Glass, and to do so here I'm aiming to perhaps also talk about the progress a little bit. Maybe that will motivate me.
And maybe, blogging in general will help me sort my thoughts out more and leave them sorted out, rather than cumulating in my head.
Anyhow, on to what I was thinking of talking about today. The new and latest trailer for the remake of Stephen King's IT came out today, and as expected it is bloody terrifying. And it's also making me realise how different I react to media these days, stories and films.
For these strains of thought, we'll have to backtrack a bit. I'm not going to beat around the bush here, I was heavily depressed from about the age of twelve up to about twenty-three without realising just how ill I actually was. And now, two and a half years after finally becoming healthy, I still find myself marveling at realisations of how sick i was, and how that disabled me from seeing things, especially reacting to things.
Now don't misunderstand me. I saw things, and I reacted to things, but it's different when you're that sick. You see it all, you react to it, but everything is so numbed down, that now you realise you were really not reacting at all, and that you were scarily indifferent to things. This is a realisation where the trailer of IT comes in, and how it's made me think the past 24 hours since seeing it.
It's terrifying, and I would have found that back then as well, but now it's different. Then I would have found it eerie at best, but I still would have watched it with a blank expression. Now I feel a different sensation, I feel the terror, I feel the dread, I feel that paralysing sensation when what you fear is slowly, surely gliding over the floor making that dragging noise towards you and I understand the fear of being to scared to move.
When I read, I saw the imagery in my imagination, thought "oh that's a neat image" and kept reading. Now I'm shifting in my couch, my bed, I'm grimacing and my heart begins beating that slight bit harder as my mind begins playing it's tricks on my mind and I'm feeling the ghostly pressure of it's hands on my bedsheets crawling up behind my book.
I'm starting to fear again, and it's as refreshing as it is terrifying.
It's definitely giving me a lot of joy in rereading all of my old books that I read in this daze, and I'm looking forward (but at the same time not really) to meeting all the villains again, all the monsters and the ghosts and feel them truly come after me for once.
Depression is a weird thing, and it's surprising how much you learn about yourself when you're out of it and finally becoming you. And for me it's a weird experience. People grow to become who they truly are in their teens and grow their personalities and begin to shape as a person. I missed all of that. And now I'm halfway through my twenties and now I'm being shaped. It's interesting, because I'm seeing it through the eyes of an adult.
I wouldn't change it for the world however.