Where our heroine is not OK.
I had a panic attack walking home from knitting club just before. Everything seemed frightening and empty. Ended up screaming and sobbing and gasping down my cellphone to Matt all the way up Molesworth Street. Because, well, my life's a mess. I don't know where I'm going with my career, I'm *this close* to handing in my notice at work (my performance is OK, but I'm completely fesking disgusted by the behaviour of one of our team leaders, to the point where I cannot gaze in his direction without my insides curdling), I'm really worried about Matt and whether our relationship will make it (he's been very sick lately), I'm not getting enough sleep, my room is a dump, I'm scared my friendship with my flattie is on the rocks, I feel shut out from my friends (which is no-one's fault by mine), I can't stop eating crap, my therapist has been giving me subtle hints that I should be breaking up with Matt, we've now got a fucking Centre Right Government that I'm dreading working under, I'm thinking of shutting the door on my faith for good, and I ended up taking the day off work and sleeping all day and I feel so fucking guilty...GAH. GAAAHHH.
Still very shaky and my lungs hurt from gasping for breath. Got Matt coming over with treats and cuddles shortly. In the meantime, I'm taking a shower and doing more knitting. Not necessarily both at once. So, uh...yeah. Even though I'm a shite excuse for a Christian right now, cos well, I voted Labour and I'm practically living with my boyfriend and I swear a bit and hate Christian music and I'm hoping with every inch of me that the Nats don't overturn the Civil Union Act, I would like to ask for your prayers. Because, I feel like I'm about to fall apart, and I need all the help I can get.
Cheers, guys.
Still very shaky and my lungs hurt from gasping for breath. Got Matt coming over with treats and cuddles shortly. In the meantime, I'm taking a shower and doing more knitting. Not necessarily both at once. So, uh...yeah. Even though I'm a shite excuse for a Christian right now, cos well, I voted Labour and I'm practically living with my boyfriend and I swear a bit and hate Christian music and I'm hoping with every inch of me that the Nats don't overturn the Civil Union Act, I would like to ask for your prayers. Because, I feel like I'm about to fall apart, and I need all the help I can get.
Cheers, guys.