Confessions of a Christian Boozehag...
Yeah, I got drunk last night.
I had a masquerade party up at my place, y'see. Kinda ended up being a farewell to Dels and CJ, and a welcome to darinthal, who just moved in yesterday. And I have some advice for you pixies. If you are drinking bubbles, stick with bubbles. If you are drinking wine, stick with wine. If you are drinking RTDs, stick with RTDs. If you are drinking gin, stick with gin. If you are drinking cider, stick with cider. If you are drinking rum, stick with rum. Yeah, it's really best not to mix 'em, eh? Especially when the sum total of your food intake beforehand has been one chocolate bar, two toasted sammies, some crackers and dip, some cornchips, a few MnM lollies, and a couple of scones. Nice one.
So yeah, I had fun. I danced around a lot. And was rather loud. And was all over people like a rash (very tactile drunk. This isn't always a good thing). And smoked a cigarette on the way down to the bus stop, while dropping a friend off. And almost burned myself. And had sufficient memory blanks. And was actually stupid enough to ask miriamus if I should tell my criminally hawt bass coach how I really feel about him (he's engaged. So, no). And then threw up. For the first time since...aw, first year Uni at least. Sorry, Richard. ;P
Ahhhh...don't you just *LOVE* that phase of drunken, where it's like you're in a dream...and you can't quite work out if things are actually happening, and everything just seems fuzzy and surreal and Lewis Carroll-ish. Yeah, it's great. ;P Full credit has to go to Richard, who kept handing me glasses of water all night. AND he loaded the dishwasher and sorted out all the bottles for the recycling. Cheers, mate, I'll be sure to clean the loo later, k? ;)
My mask was purty, all blue and sparkly and feathery. And I wore my bridesmaid's dress again. Mims' jester costume was out of this world. ;P Aw, and gay friends are love and joy. Every chick needs at least one gay friend. ;)
Aw, Mims and Rosel? If you can remember any of it, are you able to tell me anything about that spiritual conversation you had? I was well gone by that point, and all I could make out was, "blah blah blah Leviticus." Pretty impressed that I could decipher "Leviticus" while boozed. ;P
I had a great time. But, there are still the morning-after woes. I'll try and be brief.
I've been angsting a little lately that...well, to put it bluntly, I'm replacable. Disposable, if you wanted a more brutal word. Ridiculous, but hey. I don't know...I guess the main fear that I have is that my friends just stick with me cos I'm, well, there.
I'm scared they're with me cos I'm comfortable, cos I'm familiar, cos I've always been around, and...y'know, just because. And I'm scared that someone else will come along, someone who is more interesting, can hold their attention for longer, someone more fun to be around, much more of an entertainer, much quirkier, much livlier, much prettier (cos yeah, that does count), much smarter, can spin a better line. And I guess my problem is that I don't see enough desirable qualities in myself for people to want to be friends with me in the first place. Other people have desirable qualities flying out theirs arses. I, however, am fatally flawed. The tragic Shakesperian heroine, without the heroine bit. Or even the Shakesperian bit. Where's my skull of Yorick when I need it?
Ugh. Dumb. So far from the truth it's not even funny. I guess it all comes down to my parents splitting up when I was 11. Hey, if one's father can happily waltz on out of one's life cos he got a better offer, there's nowt to stop one's friends doing the same thing. And now my Dad and stepmum's relationship is on the rocks, these old neuroses are flooding in worse than ever. Unfortunately, some of my experiences with love show that it can be fairly tenuous. Someone gets fed up with the old love, and trades it in for the newer model. Goes for an upgrade, shall we say.
Hm. I'm not sure if I like being the solid, dependable, sensible, mother-earth type that my friends rely on. Would rather be the wild, zaney, barrel-of-laughs, 2am burgers kinda chick. I would say my persona is fairly crazy, fairly bubbly, fairly extroverted. My personality however is a lot more subdued. And I'm afraid once I let the act drop, once I run out of cute witticisms, once the champers stops flowing and the carnival is over, I'm going to be found out. And that'll be the end of that.
Hmm. I need space. I need and crave and desire space. Problem is I need and crave and desire people. I need and crave and desire people to like me. Y'know that vile Pink song Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)? Yeah, that's me in a nutshell.
Oh well. After this, I am going to my mother's to get fed. w00t. I have eaten too many grainwaves and salt n' vinegar chips and my stomach is a little angsty. We have too much Coke in our house, anyone want some?
PS- It's kinda wrong to be proud of myself for smoking, eh guys?
Yes, Erin.
Thought so.
I had a masquerade party up at my place, y'see. Kinda ended up being a farewell to Dels and CJ, and a welcome to darinthal, who just moved in yesterday. And I have some advice for you pixies. If you are drinking bubbles, stick with bubbles. If you are drinking wine, stick with wine. If you are drinking RTDs, stick with RTDs. If you are drinking gin, stick with gin. If you are drinking cider, stick with cider. If you are drinking rum, stick with rum. Yeah, it's really best not to mix 'em, eh? Especially when the sum total of your food intake beforehand has been one chocolate bar, two toasted sammies, some crackers and dip, some cornchips, a few MnM lollies, and a couple of scones. Nice one.
So yeah, I had fun. I danced around a lot. And was rather loud. And was all over people like a rash (very tactile drunk. This isn't always a good thing). And smoked a cigarette on the way down to the bus stop, while dropping a friend off. And almost burned myself. And had sufficient memory blanks. And was actually stupid enough to ask miriamus if I should tell my criminally hawt bass coach how I really feel about him (he's engaged. So, no). And then threw up. For the first time since...aw, first year Uni at least. Sorry, Richard. ;P
Ahhhh...don't you just *LOVE* that phase of drunken, where it's like you're in a dream...and you can't quite work out if things are actually happening, and everything just seems fuzzy and surreal and Lewis Carroll-ish. Yeah, it's great. ;P Full credit has to go to Richard, who kept handing me glasses of water all night. AND he loaded the dishwasher and sorted out all the bottles for the recycling. Cheers, mate, I'll be sure to clean the loo later, k? ;)
My mask was purty, all blue and sparkly and feathery. And I wore my bridesmaid's dress again. Mims' jester costume was out of this world. ;P Aw, and gay friends are love and joy. Every chick needs at least one gay friend. ;)
Aw, Mims and Rosel? If you can remember any of it, are you able to tell me anything about that spiritual conversation you had? I was well gone by that point, and all I could make out was, "blah blah blah Leviticus." Pretty impressed that I could decipher "Leviticus" while boozed. ;P
I had a great time. But, there are still the morning-after woes. I'll try and be brief.
I've been angsting a little lately that...well, to put it bluntly, I'm replacable. Disposable, if you wanted a more brutal word. Ridiculous, but hey. I don't know...I guess the main fear that I have is that my friends just stick with me cos I'm, well, there.
I'm scared they're with me cos I'm comfortable, cos I'm familiar, cos I've always been around, and...y'know, just because. And I'm scared that someone else will come along, someone who is more interesting, can hold their attention for longer, someone more fun to be around, much more of an entertainer, much quirkier, much livlier, much prettier (cos yeah, that does count), much smarter, can spin a better line. And I guess my problem is that I don't see enough desirable qualities in myself for people to want to be friends with me in the first place. Other people have desirable qualities flying out theirs arses. I, however, am fatally flawed. The tragic Shakesperian heroine, without the heroine bit. Or even the Shakesperian bit. Where's my skull of Yorick when I need it?
Ugh. Dumb. So far from the truth it's not even funny. I guess it all comes down to my parents splitting up when I was 11. Hey, if one's father can happily waltz on out of one's life cos he got a better offer, there's nowt to stop one's friends doing the same thing. And now my Dad and stepmum's relationship is on the rocks, these old neuroses are flooding in worse than ever. Unfortunately, some of my experiences with love show that it can be fairly tenuous. Someone gets fed up with the old love, and trades it in for the newer model. Goes for an upgrade, shall we say.
Hm. I'm not sure if I like being the solid, dependable, sensible, mother-earth type that my friends rely on. Would rather be the wild, zaney, barrel-of-laughs, 2am burgers kinda chick. I would say my persona is fairly crazy, fairly bubbly, fairly extroverted. My personality however is a lot more subdued. And I'm afraid once I let the act drop, once I run out of cute witticisms, once the champers stops flowing and the carnival is over, I'm going to be found out. And that'll be the end of that.
Hmm. I need space. I need and crave and desire space. Problem is I need and crave and desire people. I need and crave and desire people to like me. Y'know that vile Pink song Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)? Yeah, that's me in a nutshell.
Oh well. After this, I am going to my mother's to get fed. w00t. I have eaten too many grainwaves and salt n' vinegar chips and my stomach is a little angsty. We have too much Coke in our house, anyone want some?
PS- It's kinda wrong to be proud of myself for smoking, eh guys?
Yes, Erin.
Thought so.