(no subject)
Well, I just wasted an absolutely gorgeous afternoon wrestling with the scanner in The Loft, which seemed hell-bent on reducing me to a snivelling wreck. I was trying to scan a whole heap of photos of me as a young munchkin (with a superb early '90s fringe!) to put on my 21st invites, and the stupid computer kept telling me that I had no space on the hard drive...so the lovely IT people told me to try and shrink them, but I couldn't find ANYTHING on the scanning programme to tell me how to resize them! It told me how to change the brightness, sharpness, colour scheme and so forth, BUT NOT HOW TO MAKE THEM SMALLER!!! By this stage, the techie dude from The Loft had gone home for the day, and the ladies downstairs were completely bezoinked over what to do, so I decided to go on my merry way and get an iced mocha to cheer myself up...which didn't quite work, as they'd OD-d on the ice, and thus it was a touch on the watery side. *shakes head* tut tut, Brasilia, not impressed...
Starting to get a little stressed about my birthday, but I figure ranting on about it now won't really do much for my nerves, already slightly frazzled by the devious tactics of Scanner Wizard. *sigh* I'll post some of the pics on here, and we'll all have a laugh at my sheer un-photogenic-ness, and we'll all feel better.
Anyone got any ideas for a theme? I'm thinking having the guests dress as either something green, orange, or white, or just something that's generally Irish (well, duh! :D), but I'm wondering if I should go for something a little more inventive...what do ya reckon, eh wot?
Mum tells me that my grandma has offered to make the cake, so at least we'll all be able to get a decent sugar fix, even if the night is otherwise a dismal failure.
Had a rather long and amusing text conversation with miriamus, during which I tried to convince her to hold a ritual burning ceremony once she finishes high school, in exactly 100 days. Burn 'em, lassie, burn 'em all...
Went to the gym tonight, cos I'm a good girl! I now feel like I've got splinters in my shoulder blades, but that's ok. Qona insists that I've lost weight this year, whereas I feel like I've been packing it on.
Gotta say this working in the middle of a mall business has been all too tempting: got Muffin Break straight ahead, New Zealand Natural and Wendy's to the left, Coffee Culture and a rather sizable lolly stall (can't remember what it's called...) to my right, a whole Food Court at my disposal, plenty of places that sell V and chocolate within walking distance. A hotbed of sin and debauchery it is! I am, however, restricting myself to one bottle of V a week, so feel proud of me
I've been working a lot lately, which has been an answer to prayer for the moment at least. I do enjoy it at Whitcoulls, my co-workers are fabulous and constantly having to deal with people has given me a fair deal more confidence. I just know for sure that I don't want to be doing it for the rest of my life. I feel horrible, cos I'm always so quick to reassure people that I'm only working there cos I'm having the semester off Uni before I start my Honours degree, so no-one gets the idea that it's my life ambition to be selling books. I know it's snobbish and prideful of me to say so (guess I'm a true Marsden girl after all...), and no doubt I'll get my come-uppance one of these days, but I've been having a few crises in confidence over the whole job thing of late. A lot of it is because I know I haven't dealt particularly well when it comes to finding a job in the first place...sure, I went looking, and sent in a few applications, and even went for a few interviews, but I've been generally apathetic and half-hearted about the whole process, which isn't the best of strategies, I know. I 'spose it's cos I know that I'll going back to Uni eventually, and cos I've already got a job to fall back on, so I guess there hasn't been the sense of urgency there...I dunno. I don't know how I'll deal with it once I'm actually done with studying once and for all, and when I will actually be in desperate need of a steady, well-paying, 9-5 job, preferably one in which I can actually use my skills. It'll be interesting to see how far I get without giving myself a brain hemorrhage...
I was telling a friend how I was feeling about the situation, and how crap I was feeling over the fact that I've got a degree and I'm stuck in retail, and she replied, kinda sternly, that surely I must have known that doing an Arts degree wasn't the most sensible option if I'm wanting a job at the end of it (pffft, says she who's got a Fine Arts degree!). So, I will put a few questions to those of you who are doing (or have done) Arts degrees: do you ever worry that there'll be no career opportunities waiting for you at the end? Do you ever wonder what you'll fall back on if your specific career plan doesn't work out? Do you get scared that you won't be able to earn enough to live comfortably? Do you worry that everything, all your hard work studying and all that money, will go to waste if you can't get a good job? Do you think it'll be worth it to have studied what you truly love and are passionate about, rather than having studied something you know for sure will guarantee you a job? Am I making any sense whatsoever?
If any of you are just dying to make Bugger All jokes and slip in a few snide comments involving McDonalds, then go nuts, you have my blessing. I got rather used to those at CH, living with an excess of Engineers and all. I always used to panic after getting razzed about my "Bachelor of McDonalds", being a rather ambitious and career-minded young lady, someone who has always believed in the power of a woman in the workforce, someone from a rather high-powered background (Pathologist father, Economist mother), someone that's always been told she has intelligence and talent, someone who's always longed to make an impact upon the world and be a house-hold name...being faced with the thought of being stuck in a dead-end job, struggling to make ends meet, and wasting all my potential used to terrify me beyond words.
Also, I know there'll be a few of you who won't appreciate me saying this, but I am not the kind of girl that wants to get a job, cos it'll be something to keep me occupied while I'm waiting to get married, and then my hubby will be bringing in the dosh, while I do the stay at home mum bit. I'm too feminist for that, and I probably always will be, even thought I'm probably not supposed to approve of feminism. I really want to be married, and I would love to have kids...but I want to get a job I love because I want to fulfill my dreams, and go on lots of big adventures, and meet lots of people, and do something for me. I don't see a job as being something that fills in the time before I can fulfill what is supposedly my "true role as a woman". I dunno, I guess as a young Christian I've a few issues with that.
Hmmmm, maybe it's time to check out the employment pages again...
Sorry for the sudden outbreak of depressiveness...I've generally not been feeling good in myself at all lately. My inner monologue continues to harp on at me about what I'm supposed to be, and casting harsh light upon all my faults and failings, my current hang-ups being about certain aspects of my personality, and how I relate to people. My temper is dangerously close to the surface. My hypersensitivity is pissing me off like whoa. I keep revisiting all these painful times in my life (mainly fights I've had with people, and hurtful things certain people have said), which I keep thinking I've managed to let go off. I've been doing a little too much soul-searching, which more often than not results in me drawing negative conclusions about myself (I've realised I've got an accountability problem, which might just need dealing with), and leaving me rather drained. I've been so cynical and negative, especially in light of this cross-roads period in my life. I must apologise to buzzy_bee_nz, if she's reading this, seeing as I told her off on Conference for being so pessimistic, which is kinda rich, seeing as I'm the pessimist from Nam. Always have been.
I've been particularly cynical in terms of my writing. I mean, yeah sure, I've got a dream to make it as an authour/poet/playwrite/screen-writer/children's writer/critic/journalist/editor, and aren't we always told to reach for the stars, go for gold, keep chasing after our dreams, never give up...all that wonderfully peachy stuff that our mates from S Club 7 advised us to do? But, as we know, life sucks, and really, what the Herman Ferdinand does the world care if I've got a dream or not? If no-one gives a crap about what you have to say, and if your books end up gathering dust on the shelves, or getting shoved on into the Bargain Bins in a desperate bid to get rid of them, then it's just too bad, ain't it? Too bad about that dream of yours.
Ok, I'm just going to stop there, before this gets any more emo and self-pitying. You'd be pleased to know I've had a good pray about all of this...and I'm currently praying that I won't keep hitting myself up for having a dream or two. I was always told that life without dreams was like a bird that cannot fly (cheesy, much?), so I'll try not to keep ripping the wings off the old bird, eh?
So, that is the Gospel according to St Cabbage. Apologies again for my crappy mood, feel free to spam me with encouragement if you so desire! Don't worry, I'm working on it...God is good, t'be sure, t'be sure. :P
meow meow meow hiss
Starting to get a little stressed about my birthday, but I figure ranting on about it now won't really do much for my nerves, already slightly frazzled by the devious tactics of Scanner Wizard. *sigh* I'll post some of the pics on here, and we'll all have a laugh at my sheer un-photogenic-ness, and we'll all feel better.
Anyone got any ideas for a theme? I'm thinking having the guests dress as either something green, orange, or white, or just something that's generally Irish (well, duh! :D), but I'm wondering if I should go for something a little more inventive...what do ya reckon, eh wot?
Mum tells me that my grandma has offered to make the cake, so at least we'll all be able to get a decent sugar fix, even if the night is otherwise a dismal failure.
Had a rather long and amusing text conversation with miriamus, during which I tried to convince her to hold a ritual burning ceremony once she finishes high school, in exactly 100 days. Burn 'em, lassie, burn 'em all...
Went to the gym tonight, cos I'm a good girl! I now feel like I've got splinters in my shoulder blades, but that's ok. Qona insists that I've lost weight this year, whereas I feel like I've been packing it on.
Gotta say this working in the middle of a mall business has been all too tempting: got Muffin Break straight ahead, New Zealand Natural and Wendy's to the left, Coffee Culture and a rather sizable lolly stall (can't remember what it's called...) to my right, a whole Food Court at my disposal, plenty of places that sell V and chocolate within walking distance. A hotbed of sin and debauchery it is! I am, however, restricting myself to one bottle of V a week, so feel proud of me
I've been working a lot lately, which has been an answer to prayer for the moment at least. I do enjoy it at Whitcoulls, my co-workers are fabulous and constantly having to deal with people has given me a fair deal more confidence. I just know for sure that I don't want to be doing it for the rest of my life. I feel horrible, cos I'm always so quick to reassure people that I'm only working there cos I'm having the semester off Uni before I start my Honours degree, so no-one gets the idea that it's my life ambition to be selling books. I know it's snobbish and prideful of me to say so (guess I'm a true Marsden girl after all...), and no doubt I'll get my come-uppance one of these days, but I've been having a few crises in confidence over the whole job thing of late. A lot of it is because I know I haven't dealt particularly well when it comes to finding a job in the first place...sure, I went looking, and sent in a few applications, and even went for a few interviews, but I've been generally apathetic and half-hearted about the whole process, which isn't the best of strategies, I know. I 'spose it's cos I know that I'll going back to Uni eventually, and cos I've already got a job to fall back on, so I guess there hasn't been the sense of urgency there...I dunno. I don't know how I'll deal with it once I'm actually done with studying once and for all, and when I will actually be in desperate need of a steady, well-paying, 9-5 job, preferably one in which I can actually use my skills. It'll be interesting to see how far I get without giving myself a brain hemorrhage...
I was telling a friend how I was feeling about the situation, and how crap I was feeling over the fact that I've got a degree and I'm stuck in retail, and she replied, kinda sternly, that surely I must have known that doing an Arts degree wasn't the most sensible option if I'm wanting a job at the end of it (pffft, says she who's got a Fine Arts degree!). So, I will put a few questions to those of you who are doing (or have done) Arts degrees: do you ever worry that there'll be no career opportunities waiting for you at the end? Do you ever wonder what you'll fall back on if your specific career plan doesn't work out? Do you get scared that you won't be able to earn enough to live comfortably? Do you worry that everything, all your hard work studying and all that money, will go to waste if you can't get a good job? Do you think it'll be worth it to have studied what you truly love and are passionate about, rather than having studied something you know for sure will guarantee you a job? Am I making any sense whatsoever?
If any of you are just dying to make Bugger All jokes and slip in a few snide comments involving McDonalds, then go nuts, you have my blessing. I got rather used to those at CH, living with an excess of Engineers and all. I always used to panic after getting razzed about my "Bachelor of McDonalds", being a rather ambitious and career-minded young lady, someone who has always believed in the power of a woman in the workforce, someone from a rather high-powered background (Pathologist father, Economist mother), someone that's always been told she has intelligence and talent, someone who's always longed to make an impact upon the world and be a house-hold name...being faced with the thought of being stuck in a dead-end job, struggling to make ends meet, and wasting all my potential used to terrify me beyond words.
Also, I know there'll be a few of you who won't appreciate me saying this, but I am not the kind of girl that wants to get a job, cos it'll be something to keep me occupied while I'm waiting to get married, and then my hubby will be bringing in the dosh, while I do the stay at home mum bit. I'm too feminist for that, and I probably always will be, even thought I'm probably not supposed to approve of feminism. I really want to be married, and I would love to have kids...but I want to get a job I love because I want to fulfill my dreams, and go on lots of big adventures, and meet lots of people, and do something for me. I don't see a job as being something that fills in the time before I can fulfill what is supposedly my "true role as a woman". I dunno, I guess as a young Christian I've a few issues with that.
Hmmmm, maybe it's time to check out the employment pages again...
Sorry for the sudden outbreak of depressiveness...I've generally not been feeling good in myself at all lately. My inner monologue continues to harp on at me about what I'm supposed to be, and casting harsh light upon all my faults and failings, my current hang-ups being about certain aspects of my personality, and how I relate to people. My temper is dangerously close to the surface. My hypersensitivity is pissing me off like whoa. I keep revisiting all these painful times in my life (mainly fights I've had with people, and hurtful things certain people have said), which I keep thinking I've managed to let go off. I've been doing a little too much soul-searching, which more often than not results in me drawing negative conclusions about myself (I've realised I've got an accountability problem, which might just need dealing with), and leaving me rather drained. I've been so cynical and negative, especially in light of this cross-roads period in my life. I must apologise to buzzy_bee_nz, if she's reading this, seeing as I told her off on Conference for being so pessimistic, which is kinda rich, seeing as I'm the pessimist from Nam. Always have been.
I've been particularly cynical in terms of my writing. I mean, yeah sure, I've got a dream to make it as an authour/poet/playwrite/screen-writer/children's writer/critic/journalist/editor, and aren't we always told to reach for the stars, go for gold, keep chasing after our dreams, never give up...all that wonderfully peachy stuff that our mates from S Club 7 advised us to do? But, as we know, life sucks, and really, what the Herman Ferdinand does the world care if I've got a dream or not? If no-one gives a crap about what you have to say, and if your books end up gathering dust on the shelves, or getting shoved on into the Bargain Bins in a desperate bid to get rid of them, then it's just too bad, ain't it? Too bad about that dream of yours.
Ok, I'm just going to stop there, before this gets any more emo and self-pitying. You'd be pleased to know I've had a good pray about all of this...and I'm currently praying that I won't keep hitting myself up for having a dream or two. I was always told that life without dreams was like a bird that cannot fly (cheesy, much?), so I'll try not to keep ripping the wings off the old bird, eh?
So, that is the Gospel according to St Cabbage. Apologies again for my crappy mood, feel free to spam me with encouragement if you so desire! Don't worry, I'm working on it...God is good, t'be sure, t'be sure. :P
meow meow meow hiss