You know...I try to be healthy...
I am currently covered in calamine lotion in various spots that are...well...hard to reach? Lovely red hives. Did I get into the poison ivy again? Nope. Perhaps a little heat rash. Nope. Well, what caused it then you ask? V8. Yup. The slap your forehead could-a-had-a-V8 vegetable drink. The Man had brought home a bottle, the low sodium variety, mentioning it was a quick way to get another serving of veggies in during the day. I loved it. I thought...FINALLY, something that's healthy, that I actually don't mind following through with.
So for the last three days, I drank two 8 oz glasses of this concoction. Only to discover that apparently I am allergic to something in it and developed a nice constellation of hives along my back. Damn things HURT!
Sadly, this is not the first time that "health" has not been kind to me. This past winter, The Man had bought those lovely chewable vitamin C tablets that you can get at GNC. Supposedly, so that we won't have to buy three different types of vitamins, for man/woman/child. Well, you guessed it. My throat and ear canals swelled to the point of pain and only the saving grace of liquid benadryl saved me from a shot in the ass. Damn tablets had green pepper powder in them. I know I'm allergic to green peppers but did not think a vitamin would be a label I would have to read for that. WTF does a vitamin C tablet need green pepper powder for? Sheez.
Or maybe The Man is just trying to take me out since he's the one who bought this crap. *shifty eyes*
Anyhoo, I'm not happy. I'm itchy and scratchy or some other character of Snow White and the Allergic Dwarves.
Soo...on a brighter note...I leave you with a joke.
The seven dwarves go to the Vatican and because they are who they are, they are given an audience with the Pope.
Dopey assumes the role of spokesperson for the dwarves.
"Dopey my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"
"I am curious to know, your Eminence, whether there are any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The Pope raises his brow at this odd question, thinks for a moment and then answers, "No my son, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."
In the background a couple of the dwarves snicker.
Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.
Then turns back to the Holy Father.
"Your Worship, could there any dwarf nuns anywhere in Europe, who might possibly be visiting Rome?"
The Pope, genuinely puzzled, thinks longer this time, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."
This time all the dwarves giggle with uncontrollable snorts.
Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Then resumes, "Eminent Father! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"
"I'm sorry, my son, as far as I am aware there are no dwarf nuns anywhere on earth."
At this the other dwarves collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting...........
"Dopey screwed a penguin!", "Dopey screwed a penguin!"
So for the last three days, I drank two 8 oz glasses of this concoction. Only to discover that apparently I am allergic to something in it and developed a nice constellation of hives along my back. Damn things HURT!
Sadly, this is not the first time that "health" has not been kind to me. This past winter, The Man had bought those lovely chewable vitamin C tablets that you can get at GNC. Supposedly, so that we won't have to buy three different types of vitamins, for man/woman/child. Well, you guessed it. My throat and ear canals swelled to the point of pain and only the saving grace of liquid benadryl saved me from a shot in the ass. Damn tablets had green pepper powder in them. I know I'm allergic to green peppers but did not think a vitamin would be a label I would have to read for that. WTF does a vitamin C tablet need green pepper powder for? Sheez.
Or maybe The Man is just trying to take me out since he's the one who bought this crap. *shifty eyes*
Anyhoo, I'm not happy. I'm itchy and scratchy or some other character of Snow White and the Allergic Dwarves.
Soo...on a brighter note...I leave you with a joke.
The seven dwarves go to the Vatican and because they are who they are, they are given an audience with the Pope.
Dopey assumes the role of spokesperson for the dwarves.
"Dopey my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"
"I am curious to know, your Eminence, whether there are any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The Pope raises his brow at this odd question, thinks for a moment and then answers, "No my son, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."
In the background a couple of the dwarves snicker.
Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.
Then turns back to the Holy Father.
"Your Worship, could there any dwarf nuns anywhere in Europe, who might possibly be visiting Rome?"
The Pope, genuinely puzzled, thinks longer this time, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."
This time all the dwarves giggle with uncontrollable snorts.
Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.
Then resumes, "Eminent Father! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"
"I'm sorry, my son, as far as I am aware there are no dwarf nuns anywhere on earth."
At this the other dwarves collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting...........
"Dopey screwed a penguin!", "Dopey screwed a penguin!"