Glee rpf| Burning bright
When they first open the new scripts they are at Chris’ apartment and Darren feels like he is trying to breathe underwater. He blinks but the lines won’t stop blurring; he lifts his gaze and Chris is already looking at him, his eyes wide, his lips set in a thin line.
“Chris…”
He is taken aback by how rough his voice sounds; Chris shakes his head and Darren knows what he has to do. Slowly they have learned how to navigate around each other; he has learned how to make Chris smile, how to cradle his heart close and gently put it back together when the stress becomes too much, when it starts to crack every time the world reminds them that it isn’t ready for them to show the true nature of their relationship.
So he scoots closer, cushions shifting underneath him, until he is kneeling right beside Chris, who is looking up at him with those eyes of his, azure depths where Darren would gladly drown. Gently, carefully, he lifts his hands and cups Chris’ face. Words don’t matter in moments like this, they don’t work, they’re not enough.
Before they fell in love, over smiles and chats and brushing hands, scenes where they had to play Kurt and Blaine were simply scenes, nothing more. But then…then, underneath the characters’ shy kisses and confessions, there were the two of them, with their tumbling around hungrily on the bed and holding onto every single thought and every single smile unable to believe they had finally managed to have each other. And with that came the pain and the strain of having to film scenes where Blaine and Kurt fought, where they didn’t communicate, where they suffered, because to see Chris raw and open and tender in front of the camera, shining so strongly underneath Kurt’s surface, shattered Darren to the bone every single time.
He pulls Chris closer, pressing their lips together, nibbling at his lower lip until the tip of Chris’ tongue brushes against his. It still amazes Darren how such a simple thing can ignite him, all the way down to his core, until he burns with desire so bright it could set him alight. He barely manages to hear the soft sound of Chris’ script hitting the floor over the thundering of his blood, rising like a tide, breaking every dam.
Chris’ breath comes in warm puffs against his lips, his eyes screwed shut and his body already arching underneath him.
“Please.”
Darren doesn’t need to ask, he simply nods before kissing him again.
They don’t even make it to the bedroom, they stay there on the couch, Chris’ legs wrapped around his waist and Chris’ heart fluttering madly under his hands. As they shift and rise and break open together, Darren knows that this will always be theirs. No one will ever be able to take it away from him, because what he feels for Chris has become a second skin, tight and warm around him.
Chris’ nails dig in his shoulders and Darren moans brokenly. He wants Chris to hold him close, so close that there’s no sense in trying to pry them apart. He buries his face in Chris’ hair, moving faster and harder, as though he is trying to sink deeper inside of him, to reach a place where there’s only Chris and nothing else exists. He stumbles into it the moment Chris comes, squeezing tight around him, mumbling Iloveyou against his burning skin.
*
The following day they drive to set together; Darren keeps gripping Chris’ knee and he lets him. Every time they stop at a streetlight, Chris covers his hand with his own and with every touch Darren feels free to breathe again.
*
Blaine sings on the stage of the auditorium, imagining Kurt there, but all that Darren eyes see is the soft slope of Chris’ nose, the dimples that blossom at the corners of his mouth when he smiles and he aches so deep and so raw because he needs to keep Chris separated from Kurt, he needs to keep himself separated from Blaine.
But he can’t help imagining what it would be like, to feel like Blaine does, abandoned and left behind. What would he do if Chris decided to move on? What if Chris understood that he deserved so much better than a man who wasn’t free to hold his hand in public?
Darren sings and his voice breaks at the edges. Afterwards Ryan tells him he was amazing and Chris looks at him and doesn’t say anything.
As they walk towards their next filming location, Darren grabs Chris’ hand and ducks into an empty storage room. They don’t talk; they simply kiss until their lungs are hurting for the lack of air, until their hearts are not threatening to burst open at the seams anymore.
*
Filming in New York means sneaking out at night to wander off together; hands close enough to brush but not to hold. It means Chris’ eyes shining as they reflect the neon lights that swim in the night air around them. It means being almost free.
But above all it means sneaking in Chris’ room together; it means Chris’ fingers moving surely inside of him, unraveling and breaking and mending.
Chris fucks him gently and slowly, dragging every thrust, making the both of them shiver, their muscles and hearts tremble. Darren feels as though he is on fire, liquid heat sloshing along his veins, and he holds on to Chris as words of praise and of love slip past his lips and fall on the crumpled sheets, twisting underneath their bodies.
Chris’ voice is low and husky when he speaks.
“I…I want you to still feel me inside of you tomorrow when we’re filming.”
Darren moans, his heart bursting open and his hips snapping up to meet Chris’ now more forceful thrusts.
“I want to always feel you inside of me, babe.”
As he comes, Chris kisses him, sloppy and messy and perfect.
*
Darren spends the whole day on edge, his nerves straining. He doesn’t manage to spend much time with Chris, having to rehearse his lines and the acoustic version of Teenage Dream.
Half an hour before filming at the pub is scheduled his phone vibrates with an incoming message.
From Chris:
When you’ll look at Kurt during the scene, think that underneath him there’s me and that I love you.
Darren lets go of a breath he wasn’t aware of holding.
*
It’s definitely not written in the script but, as Lea and Dean are singing, Darren slips his hand underneath the table and takes hold of Chris’ hand. Darren doesn’t turn but lowers his head to hide a small smile when Chris gently squeezes his hand back.
*
Once again, Darren sings and thinks that acting shouldn’t be so painful, that his lungs shouldn’t feel so tight and his heart so heavy. He keeps his eyes focused on Chris, and there’s so little Blaine in him right now. There’s only Darren, with his love for the beautiful man looking right at him; there’s only Darren with the need to show Chris that his love won’t falter.
It may stumble, it may make mistakes, but it won’t ever become anything less than this fire that burns him down to the bone.
In the car that brings them back to the hotel, Chris smiles at him, small and sad but breathtaking nonetheless, and Darren allows himself to hold Chris’ hand in the small space between their brushing thighs.
*
Darren hates it, hates looking at Chris and having to be Blaine, accusing him of having left him behind. He hates to be the one responsible for the tears on Chris’ face, even though they are Kurt’s. Because he has made Chris cry over the time they have been together, living this relationship that is the most breathtakingly beautiful thing he has ever had in his life and also the most secret. He has seen Chris cry, sad and frustrated tears, when they have fought, when he has been too obtuse to understand that keeping their love hidden was taking a toll on the both of them.
His fingers itch with the desire to swipe them away, his whole body strung tight with the need to reach out and cover Chris, to shield him from everything, to promise a place where there’s only the two of them.
It’s already the third take and he is straining to keep himself together. When they filmed emotional scenes before they were on indoor sets, not out in the open like now, and they always managed to find a secluded corner where they could simply hold each other, let the other feel their presence in order to keep afloat until the time to retreat to the safety of a shared bed would come.
Today it’s different and it is doing weird things to Darren’s already overwhelmed heart. He looks at Chris, standing off to the side and dabbing his eyes with a Kleenex and suddenly there’s not enough air.
Lea and Cory are sitting on the fountain’s edge, simply relaxing, and Darren wishes he and Chris could be miles away, wrapped in each other; his whole body seems to crave Chris’ vicinity. He has tried to keep the distance because he knows that if he is near Chris now he won’t be able to think about secrets and keeping everything hidden. The only thing he would be able to think about is making Chris feel better. That’s how he works, that’s how they work together.
At first it’s a small flame, just a faint realization; the more he looks at Chris, trying to compose himself and failing because he is on his own, alone with his too big heart and his emotions that can be so fierce to make the sun pale, the more the flame grows, until Darren’s skin prickles with the heat of it.
This is it. This is when he stops being too afraid, when he stops seeking to please people risking to hurt the ones he cares for the most. This is when he stands and fights because this love is too precious not to step right in front of it, arms wide open, and block every single blow that may come, even though it might mean ending up battered.
The sound of his shoes clicking against the tarmac seems to reverberate through him, but he doesn’t stop until he is standing right in front of Chris. His eyes are slightly red because of all the crying and yet they still manage to look like freaking gems.
“Dare? What…”
Darren lifts his hand and slowly traces the curve of Chris’ cheekbone with his thumb; his skin is still slightly wet because of the tears. Chris’ eyes widen and Darren simply smiles before leaning forward and kissing him.
He can feel Chris stiffening, about to pull back, but he quickly slides his arms around his waist to keep him close. Chris’ hands come to rest on his chest, wide open, like wings right over his thrumming heart.
Nothing else exists; simply because nothing else matters compared to this.
///
Chris half wishes he were dreaming and about to wake up with Darren pressed against him all warm skin and sleepy eyes. But Darren’s lips are firm and real against his; he can feel Darren’s muscles shifting underneath his palms as he pulls him even closer. This is no dream.
There are a billion reasons they shouldn’t be doing this in front of castmates, crew and Ryan. And it scares him to no end to realize that it doesn’t change the fact that this is what he has been wanting all along. The possibility to kiss and hold Darren whenever he felt like it; because that’s what people in love do.
Darren pulls back only minutely, so that their lips are still brushing and all that Chris can see are his eyes and his deliciously flushed cheeks.
“Tell me I didn’t make a mess.”
Chris doesn’t even need time to think before answering.
“Even if you did, I don’t care right now.”
And he knows he should be mad because Darren didn’t even warn him; he knows they’ll have to talk about this, because this is them setting every cover aside and showing the whole world what has grown between them. Just not yet, not now that Darren is smiling big and untamed like the sun.
Standing here, with Darren’s arms holding him, Chris knows right to his core that this is the love of his life. It might have been messy and it might get hard, especially after what they have done tonight, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is the most astounding thing he has ever experienced. And he wants it to last, more than the words he has written in his book, more than the songs he has sung. He wants to have this, Darren, until the very end of time.
Taking a deep breath he forces himself to take a step back, because they have stumbled into unknown territory and, even though it sends joy dancing along his bones, Chris needs to assess the damage done.
Lea keeps her head lowered, gaze focused on her shoes, but Chris can make out the smile pulling at her lips; Cory is simply sporting a ten thousand watt grin and Chris can’t help grinning back. Taking a deep breath he tries to steady himself before daring to glance in Ryan’s direction; Darren’s hand closes around his, warm and solid like an anchor. It still amazes Chris how much a simple touch from Darren can convey, condensed love and hope and trust.
Darren is putting everything on the line for the two of them and it’s more than anyone has ever done for him, more than anyone will ever be able to do and Chris has to stand up for the two of them too. He lifts his chin high and turns, gripping Darren’s hand as though it is a life line. Ryan is looking intently at them, head slightly tilted to the side; he doesn’t seem shocked in the least, there’s a soft edge to his gaze, though.
“C’mon, go and take your places so we can wrap this up.”
Chris blinks, opens his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out and Darren is hugging him, all strong arms and solid warmth. It feels almost unreal, it feels perfect.
///
Darren presses Chris against the door of his hotel room as soon as it is closed behind them. He kisses him as though he needs him to breathe, which is actually more than a little bit true at this point. Chris’ hands grip the back of the cardigan he has used for the scene.
He has to swallow around the knot of joyhappinessdesire that has formed in his throat before he manages to speak, lips brushing against the tender skin right below Chris’ ear.
“We did it, babe. We did it.”
Chris’ fingers tighten their hold.
“Are you sure you’re ready for..”
Darren doesn’t want him to finish that sentence, he doesn’t want him to doubt. Quickly he shakes his head and pulls back to look at Chris; there’s so much hope and so much worry in his eyes that Darren’s heart aches at the sight.
“I am ready, Chris. I don’t care what may come our way, I’ll face it.”
Chris kisses him then, hard and dirty, and Darren answers to every swipe of tongue and to every bite, because he needs to feel it all, tonight more than ever. They stumble backwards towards the bed, a tangle of amazed smiles and wandering hands. Once on his back, Darren rests his hands on Chris’ sides and looks up at him; pupils blown wide and lips red, he looks like beauty itself.
“Chris…I…God, I…I love you. It’s like I’m burning all the time.”
Chris smiles, leaning forward until their lips are barely an inch apart.
“Then we should keep the flame alive, right?”
He grins, all shining eyes and white teeth, and rolls his hips down.
From then on Darren is lost, Chris’ lips and hands are everywhere, removing his clothes and tracing every line and curve. He loves it when Chris seems to map his body, to memorize it; he feels incredibly special in those moments when he is being explored like some unknown continent.
Chris’ mouth is shockingly hot as it closes around him, tongue warm and firm against the underside of his cock. Darren’s hands fly to the back of Chris’ head, gently petting his hair. It’s amazing how every single part of his body responds to Chris, as though he is the center of Darren’s solar system, the axis around which he revolves.
When Chris twists his tongue around the head just so, Darren has to tell him to stop, because there’s no way he can last otherwise. Chris licks his lips and looks straight at him; Darren almost chokes on air at the love he sees written on Chris’ features. Back in the beginning, Chris used to be more closed off, almost afraid to show Darren what he truly felt, but now he is open and unguarded when it comes to the two of them and that’s the most amazing gift Darren could ever receive.
“What do you want, Dare? I’d do anything for you.”
“I want you.”
And nothing has ever been more true.
“You have always had me, Dare. You always will.”
The first time they tried doing this, Darren isn’t ashamed to admit that he cried. Because he had never experienced anything like that before, the feeling of someone he loved all around him, inside of him. Chris was gentle and whispered soft words in the shell of his ear, while Darren adjusted to him and later when Darren clung to him, unable to think anything except of IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.
Even though quite some time has passed since that first time, the feeling of Chris entering him still makes something explode inside of Darren, the fine dust of his love settling everywhere, thrumming and shining and calling for Chris.
When Chris is all the way in, hipbones pressed against the back of Darren’s thighs, he stops and leans down to kiss the corner of his mouth. Darren knows he will never cease to be grateful for Chris’ love, for his tenderness, for his strength. Slowly, Chris begins to move and Darren loops his arms around his neck.
“I…ah…I’m sure nothing will ever feel as good as this.”
Chris beams, puffing out air on his next thrust. He moves smoothly and precisely, sending jolts of pleasure up Darren’s spine, at the same time grounding him to the mattress and making him feel lighter than an air balloon.
It comes so easy, like breathing, to let Chris pull him apart and put him back together, to move with Chris without effort, chasing pleasure and finding so much love in the process that breathing becomes a challenge because of the sheer vastness of it. Like an ocean hidden in the nonexistent space between them.
They stumble over the edge together, hands squeezing and teeth biting and Darren closes his eyes and nothing else exists except Chris shaking, buried deep inside of him, burning right at the center of his heart like no one else ever will.
*
“Thank you.”
Darren blinks his eyes open and looks at Chris; he seems to glow in the soft light of the night-lamp.
“For what, babe?”
Chris reaches out and brushes a couple of curls away from his forehead.
“For having chosen me even though it could mean a lot of troubles for your career.”
A shadow crosses Chris’ features and something inside of Darren constricts because he hates it when something manages to tame the light that Chris carries inside of him, the one that simmers quietly under his skin and made Darren fall in love with him almost at first sight.
“Babe…please, you don’t have to thank me. I want to be with you, like really with you. Holding hands, telling proudly that you’re my boyfriend. That’s why I did it. And I’m sorry I didn’t do it before. I should have…”
Chris’ index finger presses gently against his lips.
“It’s okay, Dare. What matters to me is that you’re with me.”
Darren kisses Chris’ fingertip.
“And I promise you I’m here to stay. There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”
*
He falls asleep lulled by the soft rhythm of Chris’ regular breath. He doesn’t know what to expect from tomorrow, what he knows is that he is ready to face it.
A smile tugs at his lips as the flame Chris has ignited inside of him keeps burning, bright and strong, glowing right where Darren has stacked all his biggest dreams, the one that are precious, the ones that makes his life worth living.
Disclaimer: Nothing of this has happened in reality! It’s all fictional!
“Chris…”
He is taken aback by how rough his voice sounds; Chris shakes his head and Darren knows what he has to do. Slowly they have learned how to navigate around each other; he has learned how to make Chris smile, how to cradle his heart close and gently put it back together when the stress becomes too much, when it starts to crack every time the world reminds them that it isn’t ready for them to show the true nature of their relationship.
So he scoots closer, cushions shifting underneath him, until he is kneeling right beside Chris, who is looking up at him with those eyes of his, azure depths where Darren would gladly drown. Gently, carefully, he lifts his hands and cups Chris’ face. Words don’t matter in moments like this, they don’t work, they’re not enough.
Before they fell in love, over smiles and chats and brushing hands, scenes where they had to play Kurt and Blaine were simply scenes, nothing more. But then…then, underneath the characters’ shy kisses and confessions, there were the two of them, with their tumbling around hungrily on the bed and holding onto every single thought and every single smile unable to believe they had finally managed to have each other. And with that came the pain and the strain of having to film scenes where Blaine and Kurt fought, where they didn’t communicate, where they suffered, because to see Chris raw and open and tender in front of the camera, shining so strongly underneath Kurt’s surface, shattered Darren to the bone every single time.
He pulls Chris closer, pressing their lips together, nibbling at his lower lip until the tip of Chris’ tongue brushes against his. It still amazes Darren how such a simple thing can ignite him, all the way down to his core, until he burns with desire so bright it could set him alight. He barely manages to hear the soft sound of Chris’ script hitting the floor over the thundering of his blood, rising like a tide, breaking every dam.
Chris’ breath comes in warm puffs against his lips, his eyes screwed shut and his body already arching underneath him.
“Please.”
Darren doesn’t need to ask, he simply nods before kissing him again.
They don’t even make it to the bedroom, they stay there on the couch, Chris’ legs wrapped around his waist and Chris’ heart fluttering madly under his hands. As they shift and rise and break open together, Darren knows that this will always be theirs. No one will ever be able to take it away from him, because what he feels for Chris has become a second skin, tight and warm around him.
Chris’ nails dig in his shoulders and Darren moans brokenly. He wants Chris to hold him close, so close that there’s no sense in trying to pry them apart. He buries his face in Chris’ hair, moving faster and harder, as though he is trying to sink deeper inside of him, to reach a place where there’s only Chris and nothing else exists. He stumbles into it the moment Chris comes, squeezing tight around him, mumbling Iloveyou against his burning skin.
*
The following day they drive to set together; Darren keeps gripping Chris’ knee and he lets him. Every time they stop at a streetlight, Chris covers his hand with his own and with every touch Darren feels free to breathe again.
*
Blaine sings on the stage of the auditorium, imagining Kurt there, but all that Darren eyes see is the soft slope of Chris’ nose, the dimples that blossom at the corners of his mouth when he smiles and he aches so deep and so raw because he needs to keep Chris separated from Kurt, he needs to keep himself separated from Blaine.
But he can’t help imagining what it would be like, to feel like Blaine does, abandoned and left behind. What would he do if Chris decided to move on? What if Chris understood that he deserved so much better than a man who wasn’t free to hold his hand in public?
Darren sings and his voice breaks at the edges. Afterwards Ryan tells him he was amazing and Chris looks at him and doesn’t say anything.
As they walk towards their next filming location, Darren grabs Chris’ hand and ducks into an empty storage room. They don’t talk; they simply kiss until their lungs are hurting for the lack of air, until their hearts are not threatening to burst open at the seams anymore.
*
Filming in New York means sneaking out at night to wander off together; hands close enough to brush but not to hold. It means Chris’ eyes shining as they reflect the neon lights that swim in the night air around them. It means being almost free.
But above all it means sneaking in Chris’ room together; it means Chris’ fingers moving surely inside of him, unraveling and breaking and mending.
Chris fucks him gently and slowly, dragging every thrust, making the both of them shiver, their muscles and hearts tremble. Darren feels as though he is on fire, liquid heat sloshing along his veins, and he holds on to Chris as words of praise and of love slip past his lips and fall on the crumpled sheets, twisting underneath their bodies.
Chris’ voice is low and husky when he speaks.
“I…I want you to still feel me inside of you tomorrow when we’re filming.”
Darren moans, his heart bursting open and his hips snapping up to meet Chris’ now more forceful thrusts.
“I want to always feel you inside of me, babe.”
As he comes, Chris kisses him, sloppy and messy and perfect.
*
Darren spends the whole day on edge, his nerves straining. He doesn’t manage to spend much time with Chris, having to rehearse his lines and the acoustic version of Teenage Dream.
Half an hour before filming at the pub is scheduled his phone vibrates with an incoming message.
From Chris:
When you’ll look at Kurt during the scene, think that underneath him there’s me and that I love you.
Darren lets go of a breath he wasn’t aware of holding.
*
It’s definitely not written in the script but, as Lea and Dean are singing, Darren slips his hand underneath the table and takes hold of Chris’ hand. Darren doesn’t turn but lowers his head to hide a small smile when Chris gently squeezes his hand back.
*
Once again, Darren sings and thinks that acting shouldn’t be so painful, that his lungs shouldn’t feel so tight and his heart so heavy. He keeps his eyes focused on Chris, and there’s so little Blaine in him right now. There’s only Darren, with his love for the beautiful man looking right at him; there’s only Darren with the need to show Chris that his love won’t falter.
It may stumble, it may make mistakes, but it won’t ever become anything less than this fire that burns him down to the bone.
In the car that brings them back to the hotel, Chris smiles at him, small and sad but breathtaking nonetheless, and Darren allows himself to hold Chris’ hand in the small space between their brushing thighs.
*
Darren hates it, hates looking at Chris and having to be Blaine, accusing him of having left him behind. He hates to be the one responsible for the tears on Chris’ face, even though they are Kurt’s. Because he has made Chris cry over the time they have been together, living this relationship that is the most breathtakingly beautiful thing he has ever had in his life and also the most secret. He has seen Chris cry, sad and frustrated tears, when they have fought, when he has been too obtuse to understand that keeping their love hidden was taking a toll on the both of them.
His fingers itch with the desire to swipe them away, his whole body strung tight with the need to reach out and cover Chris, to shield him from everything, to promise a place where there’s only the two of them.
It’s already the third take and he is straining to keep himself together. When they filmed emotional scenes before they were on indoor sets, not out in the open like now, and they always managed to find a secluded corner where they could simply hold each other, let the other feel their presence in order to keep afloat until the time to retreat to the safety of a shared bed would come.
Today it’s different and it is doing weird things to Darren’s already overwhelmed heart. He looks at Chris, standing off to the side and dabbing his eyes with a Kleenex and suddenly there’s not enough air.
Lea and Cory are sitting on the fountain’s edge, simply relaxing, and Darren wishes he and Chris could be miles away, wrapped in each other; his whole body seems to crave Chris’ vicinity. He has tried to keep the distance because he knows that if he is near Chris now he won’t be able to think about secrets and keeping everything hidden. The only thing he would be able to think about is making Chris feel better. That’s how he works, that’s how they work together.
At first it’s a small flame, just a faint realization; the more he looks at Chris, trying to compose himself and failing because he is on his own, alone with his too big heart and his emotions that can be so fierce to make the sun pale, the more the flame grows, until Darren’s skin prickles with the heat of it.
This is it. This is when he stops being too afraid, when he stops seeking to please people risking to hurt the ones he cares for the most. This is when he stands and fights because this love is too precious not to step right in front of it, arms wide open, and block every single blow that may come, even though it might mean ending up battered.
The sound of his shoes clicking against the tarmac seems to reverberate through him, but he doesn’t stop until he is standing right in front of Chris. His eyes are slightly red because of all the crying and yet they still manage to look like freaking gems.
“Dare? What…”
Darren lifts his hand and slowly traces the curve of Chris’ cheekbone with his thumb; his skin is still slightly wet because of the tears. Chris’ eyes widen and Darren simply smiles before leaning forward and kissing him.
He can feel Chris stiffening, about to pull back, but he quickly slides his arms around his waist to keep him close. Chris’ hands come to rest on his chest, wide open, like wings right over his thrumming heart.
Nothing else exists; simply because nothing else matters compared to this.
///
Chris half wishes he were dreaming and about to wake up with Darren pressed against him all warm skin and sleepy eyes. But Darren’s lips are firm and real against his; he can feel Darren’s muscles shifting underneath his palms as he pulls him even closer. This is no dream.
There are a billion reasons they shouldn’t be doing this in front of castmates, crew and Ryan. And it scares him to no end to realize that it doesn’t change the fact that this is what he has been wanting all along. The possibility to kiss and hold Darren whenever he felt like it; because that’s what people in love do.
Darren pulls back only minutely, so that their lips are still brushing and all that Chris can see are his eyes and his deliciously flushed cheeks.
“Tell me I didn’t make a mess.”
Chris doesn’t even need time to think before answering.
“Even if you did, I don’t care right now.”
And he knows he should be mad because Darren didn’t even warn him; he knows they’ll have to talk about this, because this is them setting every cover aside and showing the whole world what has grown between them. Just not yet, not now that Darren is smiling big and untamed like the sun.
Standing here, with Darren’s arms holding him, Chris knows right to his core that this is the love of his life. It might have been messy and it might get hard, especially after what they have done tonight, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is the most astounding thing he has ever experienced. And he wants it to last, more than the words he has written in his book, more than the songs he has sung. He wants to have this, Darren, until the very end of time.
Taking a deep breath he forces himself to take a step back, because they have stumbled into unknown territory and, even though it sends joy dancing along his bones, Chris needs to assess the damage done.
Lea keeps her head lowered, gaze focused on her shoes, but Chris can make out the smile pulling at her lips; Cory is simply sporting a ten thousand watt grin and Chris can’t help grinning back. Taking a deep breath he tries to steady himself before daring to glance in Ryan’s direction; Darren’s hand closes around his, warm and solid like an anchor. It still amazes Chris how much a simple touch from Darren can convey, condensed love and hope and trust.
Darren is putting everything on the line for the two of them and it’s more than anyone has ever done for him, more than anyone will ever be able to do and Chris has to stand up for the two of them too. He lifts his chin high and turns, gripping Darren’s hand as though it is a life line. Ryan is looking intently at them, head slightly tilted to the side; he doesn’t seem shocked in the least, there’s a soft edge to his gaze, though.
“C’mon, go and take your places so we can wrap this up.”
Chris blinks, opens his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out and Darren is hugging him, all strong arms and solid warmth. It feels almost unreal, it feels perfect.
///
Darren presses Chris against the door of his hotel room as soon as it is closed behind them. He kisses him as though he needs him to breathe, which is actually more than a little bit true at this point. Chris’ hands grip the back of the cardigan he has used for the scene.
He has to swallow around the knot of joyhappinessdesire that has formed in his throat before he manages to speak, lips brushing against the tender skin right below Chris’ ear.
“We did it, babe. We did it.”
Chris’ fingers tighten their hold.
“Are you sure you’re ready for..”
Darren doesn’t want him to finish that sentence, he doesn’t want him to doubt. Quickly he shakes his head and pulls back to look at Chris; there’s so much hope and so much worry in his eyes that Darren’s heart aches at the sight.
“I am ready, Chris. I don’t care what may come our way, I’ll face it.”
Chris kisses him then, hard and dirty, and Darren answers to every swipe of tongue and to every bite, because he needs to feel it all, tonight more than ever. They stumble backwards towards the bed, a tangle of amazed smiles and wandering hands. Once on his back, Darren rests his hands on Chris’ sides and looks up at him; pupils blown wide and lips red, he looks like beauty itself.
“Chris…I…God, I…I love you. It’s like I’m burning all the time.”
Chris smiles, leaning forward until their lips are barely an inch apart.
“Then we should keep the flame alive, right?”
He grins, all shining eyes and white teeth, and rolls his hips down.
From then on Darren is lost, Chris’ lips and hands are everywhere, removing his clothes and tracing every line and curve. He loves it when Chris seems to map his body, to memorize it; he feels incredibly special in those moments when he is being explored like some unknown continent.
Chris’ mouth is shockingly hot as it closes around him, tongue warm and firm against the underside of his cock. Darren’s hands fly to the back of Chris’ head, gently petting his hair. It’s amazing how every single part of his body responds to Chris, as though he is the center of Darren’s solar system, the axis around which he revolves.
When Chris twists his tongue around the head just so, Darren has to tell him to stop, because there’s no way he can last otherwise. Chris licks his lips and looks straight at him; Darren almost chokes on air at the love he sees written on Chris’ features. Back in the beginning, Chris used to be more closed off, almost afraid to show Darren what he truly felt, but now he is open and unguarded when it comes to the two of them and that’s the most amazing gift Darren could ever receive.
“What do you want, Dare? I’d do anything for you.”
“I want you.”
And nothing has ever been more true.
“You have always had me, Dare. You always will.”
The first time they tried doing this, Darren isn’t ashamed to admit that he cried. Because he had never experienced anything like that before, the feeling of someone he loved all around him, inside of him. Chris was gentle and whispered soft words in the shell of his ear, while Darren adjusted to him and later when Darren clung to him, unable to think anything except of IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.
Even though quite some time has passed since that first time, the feeling of Chris entering him still makes something explode inside of Darren, the fine dust of his love settling everywhere, thrumming and shining and calling for Chris.
When Chris is all the way in, hipbones pressed against the back of Darren’s thighs, he stops and leans down to kiss the corner of his mouth. Darren knows he will never cease to be grateful for Chris’ love, for his tenderness, for his strength. Slowly, Chris begins to move and Darren loops his arms around his neck.
“I…ah…I’m sure nothing will ever feel as good as this.”
Chris beams, puffing out air on his next thrust. He moves smoothly and precisely, sending jolts of pleasure up Darren’s spine, at the same time grounding him to the mattress and making him feel lighter than an air balloon.
It comes so easy, like breathing, to let Chris pull him apart and put him back together, to move with Chris without effort, chasing pleasure and finding so much love in the process that breathing becomes a challenge because of the sheer vastness of it. Like an ocean hidden in the nonexistent space between them.
They stumble over the edge together, hands squeezing and teeth biting and Darren closes his eyes and nothing else exists except Chris shaking, buried deep inside of him, burning right at the center of his heart like no one else ever will.
*
“Thank you.”
Darren blinks his eyes open and looks at Chris; he seems to glow in the soft light of the night-lamp.
“For what, babe?”
Chris reaches out and brushes a couple of curls away from his forehead.
“For having chosen me even though it could mean a lot of troubles for your career.”
A shadow crosses Chris’ features and something inside of Darren constricts because he hates it when something manages to tame the light that Chris carries inside of him, the one that simmers quietly under his skin and made Darren fall in love with him almost at first sight.
“Babe…please, you don’t have to thank me. I want to be with you, like really with you. Holding hands, telling proudly that you’re my boyfriend. That’s why I did it. And I’m sorry I didn’t do it before. I should have…”
Chris’ index finger presses gently against his lips.
“It’s okay, Dare. What matters to me is that you’re with me.”
Darren kisses Chris’ fingertip.
“And I promise you I’m here to stay. There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”
*
He falls asleep lulled by the soft rhythm of Chris’ regular breath. He doesn’t know what to expect from tomorrow, what he knows is that he is ready to face it.
A smile tugs at his lips as the flame Chris has ignited inside of him keeps burning, bright and strong, glowing right where Darren has stacked all his biggest dreams, the one that are precious, the ones that makes his life worth living.
Disclaimer: Nothing of this has happened in reality! It’s all fictional!