Glee rpf| Like primal music (2/9)
New York takes his breath away, like literally. It is so big and alive that Chris feels like drowning most of the time.
On his first day of class he arrives two hours late because he gets lost. He has to ask for direction five times before he manages to get back to the dorms in the evening. As soon as the door is closed behind him he slumps against it and closes his eyes, feeling as though the weight of his bones has duplicated.
“You look horrible!”
Chris almost jumps at the sound of Darren’s voice. For an instant he thinks it sounds smooth, like silk; he quickly shakes his head, blaming his thoughts on the tiredness.
“What a great way of greeting your roommate, Darren!” Chris mutters.
When he opens his eyes he finds Darren grinning, a pencil dangling at the corner of his mouth.
“Sometimes I wonder if I got a five year-old as a roommate, and you’re even supposed to be two years older than me.”
Darren shrugs, letting the pencil fall back on his desk.
“So…Mister Wittiness, how come you look like shit on your first day?”
“Promise that you’re not going to laugh at me!”
Darren presses his right hand over his heart and looks straight at him, a serious expression on his face.
“I promise.”
Chris shakes his head disbelievingly; how is it even possible that someone like Darren exists?
“Fine, let’s just say I got lost, repeatedly while going to class and while coming back here.”
Darren covers his mouth but his eyes crinkle at the corners. When his cheeks start to redden with the effort of keeping his laughter in check, Chris takes pity upon him.
“Okay, laugh away or I’m afraid you’re going to suffocate.”
Darren’s laugh fills the room; it’s rich and bright and Chris isn’t surprised when instead of feeling embarrassed he simply feels at ease.
“Oh, man! Sorry, I know I promised but…”
Chris plops on his desk chair and smiles.
“Don’t worry, I guess it was inevitable.”
He can’t help but wonder what Darren is up to when he rolls his chair closer and picks Chris’ bag from the floor before plopping it in his lap.
“What are you…”
“I’m passing you your bag so that you can fish out your phone and give it to me.”
“Okay…”
Chris hands him the phone and watches in silence as Darren types something before shoving it back in his hands, a proud smile on his face.
“Here you go! Now you’ve got my phone number, so you can call me if you need directions or anything, really.”
Chris lowers his gaze to the screen.
Dare :)
A smile stretches his lips.
“Thanks. You don’t have to babysit me, though.”
Darren pushes playfully at his knee with his socked foot.
“Of course I’m not your babysitter, Colfer! I’m your awesome roommate and friend.”
Friend.
Chris knows that it might sound lame, and it probably is, but he has never had a real friend before. Back in high school people were too busy mocking him and he was too busy weaving stories in his own head and hoping to get out of there someday. Indeed, even when he found out that they had accepted him at NYU, he couldn’t truly believe that he would be able to make friends there.
But here he is, sitting in his chair, looking Darren’s back as he writes, curly head bobbing along whichever melody he has stuck in his head.
He can’t help thinking that he truly has an awesome roommate, indeed.
*
To Chris:
Made it to class in one piece?
To Dare :):
I’ll have you know that my sense of orientation is getting better. Only half an hour late today.
To Chris:
Do you think you can find the cafeteria?
To Dare :):
Guess so, why?
To Chris:
So you can go and do what people do in a cafeteria, have lunch! :P
To Dare :):
I think I’ll manage, smartass.
To Chris:
Perfect! Meet you there at 1.
*
Hanging with Darren is like nothing Chris has ever experienced before. Soon enough they discover that they share a fair number of unhealthy obsession, from Harry Potter to Super Mario Brothers.
*
When the question whether he has a girlfriend back at home or not comes up, while they’re sprawled on Darren’s bed listening to random music and sipping Diet Coke, Chris says without hesitation that he is not into girls. He is proud of who he is; he hasn’t fought all through high school to be himself for nothing.
Darren smiles and nods.
“Well, any boyfriend at home, then?”
Chris blinks.
“What? You thought I would run out of the door as soon as you told me?”
“I…”
Darren chuckles.
“Look, Chris, I’m perfectly fine with who you are. I like you, I’m glad you let me be your friend and I really don’t like labels. Whether you're gay, straight, purple, orange, dinosaur; I don't care.”
Chris is positively sure he has never felt more accepted in his whole life.
“Thanks, Dare. I am going to use that phrase in one of my short stories.”
Darren grins before taking a mouthful of popcorns.
“I’ve been told I’m quite the sage, indeed.”
Chris laughs at the indignant whelp that escapes Darren as the pillow he throws at him hits him square in the face.
*
One night at the end of October, Chris opens the door to their room to find Darren sitting cross-legged on his bed, strumming his guitar and singing softly.
Even though he knows that Darren studies musical theatre, he has never managed to hear him sing properly, aside from chunks of words mumbled under his breath as he moves around the room getting ready to go out or as he tries to tidy up the mess that is his half of the room.
Darren’s singing voice is smooth and warm and Chris can feel his whole body relax as he listens to it.
But that just makes me a dumb human
That just makes me
That makes a human like you
When Darren stops playing and lifts his eyes from the chords their gazes meet. Chris briefly wonders if he should apologize for intruding, but in the months he has known Darren he has discovered that he probably is the most easygoing person he has ever met in his whole life, so apologizing definitely isn’t needed. He settles for a smile.
“That was really nice, Dare.”
He wonders if Darren is blushing for real or if he is imagining it.
“Oh, thanks, but it was nothing, really.”
“C’mon, stop being so self-deprecating all the time.”
Darren grins at him.
“You always manage to make me feel good about myself somehow, you know?”
Chris feels warm all over at the thought that he knows Darren enough to know what to say to make him smile and make him understand that he should be proud of himself.
“I just realized it’s the first time that I heard you sing, actually!”
“Well, I usually rehearse when you’re not around so that I won’t end up annoying you to death.”
Chris pads over and playfully cuffs him on the arm.
“I’ve already told you that you never annoy me when you play, you idiot.”
“Yes you did, sir!”
“Jeez, you’re such a dork sometimes!”
Darren makes a show of looking down at the Star Trek t-shirt that he is currently wearing.
“What makes you say so?”
“Oh, I don’t know, if not that shirt, for sure the small Hedwig-shaped plush that you keep on your bed?”
“I’ll have you know she is a great companion.”
Chris laughs. He always seems to laugh a lot when he is around Darren. His friend simply smiles up at him, a content expression on his face.
“Oh, I forgot! I was warming up a bit because I’m going to play with Joey tonight at Jaime’s house party. Wanna come?”
Chris shifts his weight from left to right. He wishes he could say yes, because it’s nice to have Darren around, but he doesn’t feel comfortable around too many people. It’s not that he doesn’t like Darren’s friends; he has had lunch with them quite a few times and they are all really nice, but he can’t help feeling a bit out of his element. Everyone seems to be so carefree and cool and he just…he is simply different, quieter and calmer, so different from Darren who’s constantly telling jokes and talking and smiling, as though some sort of endless energy keeps bubbling inside of him all the time.
“I…um…I guess I’m a bit too tired for that.”
Darren quirks an eyebrow.
“You know that someday I’ll manage to drag your ass to some party, don’t you?”
“Maybe someday.”
Chris hopes it sounded like a joke even though it was actually a shaky hope.
*
That night as he imagines Darren playing at the party, curls wild and huge grin, Chris wishes he could learn how to be a bit more carefree. He has always been proud of who he was, he has never wanted to change, the fact that he would do that for Darren takes him by surprise.
It’s like a low flame sliding along his bones, the realization that he really likes Darren.
He takes a deep breath trying to calm the beating of his heart. He lulls himself to sleep repeating over and over that he isn’t falling for his best friend.
Part 3
On his first day of class he arrives two hours late because he gets lost. He has to ask for direction five times before he manages to get back to the dorms in the evening. As soon as the door is closed behind him he slumps against it and closes his eyes, feeling as though the weight of his bones has duplicated.
“You look horrible!”
Chris almost jumps at the sound of Darren’s voice. For an instant he thinks it sounds smooth, like silk; he quickly shakes his head, blaming his thoughts on the tiredness.
“What a great way of greeting your roommate, Darren!” Chris mutters.
When he opens his eyes he finds Darren grinning, a pencil dangling at the corner of his mouth.
“Sometimes I wonder if I got a five year-old as a roommate, and you’re even supposed to be two years older than me.”
Darren shrugs, letting the pencil fall back on his desk.
“So…Mister Wittiness, how come you look like shit on your first day?”
“Promise that you’re not going to laugh at me!”
Darren presses his right hand over his heart and looks straight at him, a serious expression on his face.
“I promise.”
Chris shakes his head disbelievingly; how is it even possible that someone like Darren exists?
“Fine, let’s just say I got lost, repeatedly while going to class and while coming back here.”
Darren covers his mouth but his eyes crinkle at the corners. When his cheeks start to redden with the effort of keeping his laughter in check, Chris takes pity upon him.
“Okay, laugh away or I’m afraid you’re going to suffocate.”
Darren’s laugh fills the room; it’s rich and bright and Chris isn’t surprised when instead of feeling embarrassed he simply feels at ease.
“Oh, man! Sorry, I know I promised but…”
Chris plops on his desk chair and smiles.
“Don’t worry, I guess it was inevitable.”
He can’t help but wonder what Darren is up to when he rolls his chair closer and picks Chris’ bag from the floor before plopping it in his lap.
“What are you…”
“I’m passing you your bag so that you can fish out your phone and give it to me.”
“Okay…”
Chris hands him the phone and watches in silence as Darren types something before shoving it back in his hands, a proud smile on his face.
“Here you go! Now you’ve got my phone number, so you can call me if you need directions or anything, really.”
Chris lowers his gaze to the screen.
Dare :)
A smile stretches his lips.
“Thanks. You don’t have to babysit me, though.”
Darren pushes playfully at his knee with his socked foot.
“Of course I’m not your babysitter, Colfer! I’m your awesome roommate and friend.”
Friend.
Chris knows that it might sound lame, and it probably is, but he has never had a real friend before. Back in high school people were too busy mocking him and he was too busy weaving stories in his own head and hoping to get out of there someday. Indeed, even when he found out that they had accepted him at NYU, he couldn’t truly believe that he would be able to make friends there.
But here he is, sitting in his chair, looking Darren’s back as he writes, curly head bobbing along whichever melody he has stuck in his head.
He can’t help thinking that he truly has an awesome roommate, indeed.
*
To Chris:
Made it to class in one piece?
To Dare :):
I’ll have you know that my sense of orientation is getting better. Only half an hour late today.
To Chris:
Do you think you can find the cafeteria?
To Dare :):
Guess so, why?
To Chris:
So you can go and do what people do in a cafeteria, have lunch! :P
To Dare :):
I think I’ll manage, smartass.
To Chris:
Perfect! Meet you there at 1.
*
Hanging with Darren is like nothing Chris has ever experienced before. Soon enough they discover that they share a fair number of unhealthy obsession, from Harry Potter to Super Mario Brothers.
*
When the question whether he has a girlfriend back at home or not comes up, while they’re sprawled on Darren’s bed listening to random music and sipping Diet Coke, Chris says without hesitation that he is not into girls. He is proud of who he is; he hasn’t fought all through high school to be himself for nothing.
Darren smiles and nods.
“Well, any boyfriend at home, then?”
Chris blinks.
“What? You thought I would run out of the door as soon as you told me?”
“I…”
Darren chuckles.
“Look, Chris, I’m perfectly fine with who you are. I like you, I’m glad you let me be your friend and I really don’t like labels. Whether you're gay, straight, purple, orange, dinosaur; I don't care.”
Chris is positively sure he has never felt more accepted in his whole life.
“Thanks, Dare. I am going to use that phrase in one of my short stories.”
Darren grins before taking a mouthful of popcorns.
“I’ve been told I’m quite the sage, indeed.”
Chris laughs at the indignant whelp that escapes Darren as the pillow he throws at him hits him square in the face.
*
One night at the end of October, Chris opens the door to their room to find Darren sitting cross-legged on his bed, strumming his guitar and singing softly.
Even though he knows that Darren studies musical theatre, he has never managed to hear him sing properly, aside from chunks of words mumbled under his breath as he moves around the room getting ready to go out or as he tries to tidy up the mess that is his half of the room.
Darren’s singing voice is smooth and warm and Chris can feel his whole body relax as he listens to it.
But that just makes me a dumb human
That just makes me
That makes a human like you
When Darren stops playing and lifts his eyes from the chords their gazes meet. Chris briefly wonders if he should apologize for intruding, but in the months he has known Darren he has discovered that he probably is the most easygoing person he has ever met in his whole life, so apologizing definitely isn’t needed. He settles for a smile.
“That was really nice, Dare.”
He wonders if Darren is blushing for real or if he is imagining it.
“Oh, thanks, but it was nothing, really.”
“C’mon, stop being so self-deprecating all the time.”
Darren grins at him.
“You always manage to make me feel good about myself somehow, you know?”
Chris feels warm all over at the thought that he knows Darren enough to know what to say to make him smile and make him understand that he should be proud of himself.
“I just realized it’s the first time that I heard you sing, actually!”
“Well, I usually rehearse when you’re not around so that I won’t end up annoying you to death.”
Chris pads over and playfully cuffs him on the arm.
“I’ve already told you that you never annoy me when you play, you idiot.”
“Yes you did, sir!”
“Jeez, you’re such a dork sometimes!”
Darren makes a show of looking down at the Star Trek t-shirt that he is currently wearing.
“What makes you say so?”
“Oh, I don’t know, if not that shirt, for sure the small Hedwig-shaped plush that you keep on your bed?”
“I’ll have you know she is a great companion.”
Chris laughs. He always seems to laugh a lot when he is around Darren. His friend simply smiles up at him, a content expression on his face.
“Oh, I forgot! I was warming up a bit because I’m going to play with Joey tonight at Jaime’s house party. Wanna come?”
Chris shifts his weight from left to right. He wishes he could say yes, because it’s nice to have Darren around, but he doesn’t feel comfortable around too many people. It’s not that he doesn’t like Darren’s friends; he has had lunch with them quite a few times and they are all really nice, but he can’t help feeling a bit out of his element. Everyone seems to be so carefree and cool and he just…he is simply different, quieter and calmer, so different from Darren who’s constantly telling jokes and talking and smiling, as though some sort of endless energy keeps bubbling inside of him all the time.
“I…um…I guess I’m a bit too tired for that.”
Darren quirks an eyebrow.
“You know that someday I’ll manage to drag your ass to some party, don’t you?”
“Maybe someday.”
Chris hopes it sounded like a joke even though it was actually a shaky hope.
*
That night as he imagines Darren playing at the party, curls wild and huge grin, Chris wishes he could learn how to be a bit more carefree. He has always been proud of who he was, he has never wanted to change, the fact that he would do that for Darren takes him by surprise.
It’s like a low flame sliding along his bones, the realization that he really likes Darren.
He takes a deep breath trying to calm the beating of his heart. He lulls himself to sleep repeating over and over that he isn’t falling for his best friend.
Part 3