bbc merlin| The veins of you, the veins of me (like great forest trees)
Merlin’s skin stretches in front of him, like a pale, perfect universe. Arthur can feel his heartbeat stuttering softly against his palm as he presses his open hand right over Merlin’s heart.
The warmth of his skin, the rhythm of the life pulsing underneath it, everything feel so new and yet so familiar.
“Merlin…”
He wonders if Merlin can feel it, all that he is putting into that single word- I’ve finally found you again; you are my best friend; you are the only thing that will always make sense.
Now he remembers all those times when before a battle he had wished nothing more than to be able to hold Merlin close, to make him promise that he would be careful. He all those times when, adrenaline still pumping in his blood and arms aching after having held his sword too long, he had wanted nothing more than kissing Merlin right there on the field, to feel his warmth, the life of him underneath his palms and against his lips. All those times when instead he remained silence, allowing himself only a small smile, pale ghost of what he truly felt.
Merlin smiles at him, slow and breathtaking, exactly as he used to do. Arthur leans down, his forehead pressed against Merlin’s breastbone, his nose pressed against warm skin.
This is the centre of the world, always been the centre of his life and his very bones seem to shake with the strength of this simple truth. Arthur knows he has to say it, to set free everything that he has always kept locked up, preventing Merlin and him to be together when they first got the chance.
But Merlin shifts underneath him, their bodies pressing closer and Arthur’s brain temporary loses his functions. Because this is what he has been craving for centuries- the proximity, the warmth, the completeness without any sense of guilt, without the bitter knowledge that it didn’t matter how deep they could crawl under each other skin the following day there needed to be distance once again.
He lets himself go adrift in it, his fingers tracing lines and dimples and planes learnt by memory so long ago. Merlin trembles underneath his touches, his labored breaths warming the space between their brushing lips.
The world is made only of the perfect heat of Merlin’s body around his careful fingers, of the sharpness of Merlin’s nails scratching at his shoulders.
“God, I have missed you, Arthur.”
And there are tears in Merlin’s eyes, making them look bluer and bigger, like skies ready to swallow him whole. Arthur kisses him, long and deep, as he slides inside of him, inch by inch, heart thrumming and aching inside of his ribcage.
When he finally is all the way in, when there is no space left between them, the door he has keep closed since the day he realized what he felt for his manservant was love, the kind that consumes you and ignites your bones, bursts open.
“Do…Do you remember that night when I told you in another life I would have never let you go?”
Merlin nods, his lips red because of the kissing, his cheeks flushed- he looks like a god.
“I meant it, Merlin. I am not letting you go this time.”
Merlin surges forward, crashing their lips together and pulling Arthur even deeper inside of him. Their moans mix in a familiar harmony over their dancing tongues.
*
They lay on Arthur’s tangled sheets, their noses brushing, their chests rising and falling as they catch their breath. Arthur trails his fingers down Merlin’s spine and there’s only peace inside of him, big and vast like an ocean.
“I love you.”
He never said those words, always lurking under the surface, always pressing against his sealed lips. They are the absolute truth, like the fact that the moon and the sun look down on Earth from up there; they have always been.
Arthur watches as Merlin blinks, his eyes bright. He shivers when Merlin presses his hand right over his heart, right where it belongs.
“I love you too. I always have and I always will.”
Arthur has to close his eyes against the happiness that rises like a tide inside of him, because finally there is nothing to fear, no need to deny, no need to suffer.
There’s only the two of them and a future that is finally only theirs.
THE END
The warmth of his skin, the rhythm of the life pulsing underneath it, everything feel so new and yet so familiar.
“Merlin…”
He wonders if Merlin can feel it, all that he is putting into that single word- I’ve finally found you again; you are my best friend; you are the only thing that will always make sense.
Now he remembers all those times when before a battle he had wished nothing more than to be able to hold Merlin close, to make him promise that he would be careful. He all those times when, adrenaline still pumping in his blood and arms aching after having held his sword too long, he had wanted nothing more than kissing Merlin right there on the field, to feel his warmth, the life of him underneath his palms and against his lips. All those times when instead he remained silence, allowing himself only a small smile, pale ghost of what he truly felt.
Merlin smiles at him, slow and breathtaking, exactly as he used to do. Arthur leans down, his forehead pressed against Merlin’s breastbone, his nose pressed against warm skin.
This is the centre of the world, always been the centre of his life and his very bones seem to shake with the strength of this simple truth. Arthur knows he has to say it, to set free everything that he has always kept locked up, preventing Merlin and him to be together when they first got the chance.
But Merlin shifts underneath him, their bodies pressing closer and Arthur’s brain temporary loses his functions. Because this is what he has been craving for centuries- the proximity, the warmth, the completeness without any sense of guilt, without the bitter knowledge that it didn’t matter how deep they could crawl under each other skin the following day there needed to be distance once again.
He lets himself go adrift in it, his fingers tracing lines and dimples and planes learnt by memory so long ago. Merlin trembles underneath his touches, his labored breaths warming the space between their brushing lips.
The world is made only of the perfect heat of Merlin’s body around his careful fingers, of the sharpness of Merlin’s nails scratching at his shoulders.
“God, I have missed you, Arthur.”
And there are tears in Merlin’s eyes, making them look bluer and bigger, like skies ready to swallow him whole. Arthur kisses him, long and deep, as he slides inside of him, inch by inch, heart thrumming and aching inside of his ribcage.
When he finally is all the way in, when there is no space left between them, the door he has keep closed since the day he realized what he felt for his manservant was love, the kind that consumes you and ignites your bones, bursts open.
“Do…Do you remember that night when I told you in another life I would have never let you go?”
Merlin nods, his lips red because of the kissing, his cheeks flushed- he looks like a god.
“I meant it, Merlin. I am not letting you go this time.”
Merlin surges forward, crashing their lips together and pulling Arthur even deeper inside of him. Their moans mix in a familiar harmony over their dancing tongues.
*
They lay on Arthur’s tangled sheets, their noses brushing, their chests rising and falling as they catch their breath. Arthur trails his fingers down Merlin’s spine and there’s only peace inside of him, big and vast like an ocean.
“I love you.”
He never said those words, always lurking under the surface, always pressing against his sealed lips. They are the absolute truth, like the fact that the moon and the sun look down on Earth from up there; they have always been.
Arthur watches as Merlin blinks, his eyes bright. He shivers when Merlin presses his hand right over his heart, right where it belongs.
“I love you too. I always have and I always will.”
Arthur has to close his eyes against the happiness that rises like a tide inside of him, because finally there is nothing to fear, no need to deny, no need to suffer.
There’s only the two of them and a future that is finally only theirs.
THE END