Nabari no Ou/ There was warmth
Miharu lie in his bed. Outside the morning begins to move around, like a lazy animal. Miharu lets his gaze rest on the whiteness of the ceiling. He tries to put together the pieces of the dream he just had. He still feels to much warmth. Under the plant of his feet, around his ears, curling among the few black, soft hair between his slender legs.
There were shy hands on his chest, among his legs.
Miharu closes his eyes. Then opens them again. The room is still there, the sleepy morning light is still there. He turns and pushes his legs over the edge of the bed. He trembles a bit as his feet meet the cold floor. Morning seems colder than usual today. He brings his legs under the sheets again. He presses his face against the pillow. The sound of the door bell, of the plates and of the chatting in the restaurant below is like a low tune. Slowly he falls in the open mouth of sleep again.
When he opens his eyes the sunlight is stamping the branches of the tree outside on the curtains. Miharu shifts.
- You should get up
Miharu doesn’t need to turn to understand. He looks at the wall. Yoite’s voice seems so tired. He chews his lower lip.
- I know you are awake.
Yoite’s voice is deep. This is something Miharu likes. He wonders how Yoite can have such a deep voice, being so young. It makes Miharu think of woods. Of the solitude of trees in a wood. Maybe Yoite is not as strong as trees.
Miharu swallows as he feels the mattress sinking a bit. Yoite’s scent is a sad scent. Miharu thinks of tears, of tears he wants to dry away.
- Don’t you want to see me?
Miharu feels the rumble of the blood in his ears. He turns.
Yoite looks at him. He tries to memorize the lines of Miharu’s green iris. Miharu’s hair are like a black pool of ink over the pillow.
Miharu listens to Yoite laboured breath, he doesn’t want to imagine what’s going on in the tender depths of his body.
- No. I wanted to see you.
Yoite slowly reaches for Miharu’s cheek. His gloved fingers are cold on Miharu’s skin. But what Miharu feels is the warmth spreading.
There were dry lips, blue eyes and bruised hands.
Somehow his heart manages to beat even faster. He feels it hitting his ribcage like rain drops hit windows on rainy days.
Yoite merely brushes his fingertips over Miharu’s skin. Yoite has always been afraid to break things. No one taught him how to touch delicate things.
Miharu looks at Yoite. Yoite lowers his gaze. It rests on the sheets now. Miharu presses his hand over Yoite’s.
Yoite tries to understand this soft kind of pain that it’s travelling along his vessels. Yoite hasn’t learnt what desire is.
Miharu looks at Yoite’s reddening face, at his eyes flattering closed for a second.
There were soft puffs of breath on his neck. There were salty tears of joy.
- Yoite?
Miharu’s voice is cracking at the edges.
Yoite lifts his gaze. He starts to feel his knees and arms liquefying as he sees Miharu’s slightly parted lips. They are pink, and full. Like a little flower.
Yoite is confused. Yoite doesn’t know what this sense of vertigo is. He wonders why he can’t make his body to move. He is scared, like the lost child he was at the beginning. But then, then Miharu’s voice comes again. Like a rope through the bars of the dark basement which still surrounds him.
- Yoite, come here.
- M.Miharu…
Miharu lifts himself up a bit. He moves a lock of black hair away from Yoite’s eyes. He smiles, softly, as you smile at children, as you smile at wild animals.
- Don’t be afraid of me.
There were long, pale legs. There were shy little sounds.
And Yoite is just a little wild animal. He follows the gentleness in Miharu’s voice.
Slowly Miharu reaches for Yoite’s hat. Yoite looks right in Miharu’s eyes as he removes the hat and puts it aside. Yoite follows the movements of Miharu’s fingers as he unbuttons his coat. Yoite feels something inside him rising and sinking. He tries to take deeper breaths. As Miharu removes the heavy coat his hand brushes slightly on Yoite’s belly. Yoite feels everything inside of him conk out. Like a broken clock. He feels wet between his legs. He looks at Miharu, his eyes wide. Miharu smiles softly and slowly moves closer to Yoite.
- Can…can I hug you?
Yoite feels his nerves tingle. He nods.
Miharu’s hair are soft under his chin, his head is a warm weight on his chest. Yoite has never hugged anyone before. But he has seen people doing it. He tries to remember how it was. Slowly he brings his arms up and closes them in a circle around Miharu’s thin body. Miharu feels something stirring and tugging inside him. The warmth he felt in the morning is now everywhere.
- Yoite?
- Yes?
- Can I kiss you?
Miharu keeps his gaze on the fabric of Yoite’s pullover. Yoite looks at the white wall in front of him. He feels more wet. He feels more lost. He hears the bruises, the strange place between his legs scream.
- Promise…
Miharu lifts his gaze till it meets Yoite’s.
- Uh?
- Promise you won’t ask for anything else.
There was pale, tender skin. There were long fingers in his dump hair.
Miharu swallows.
The warmth grasps at his interiors. There’s something heavy in his lower belly. But he looks at Yoite’s eyes. They are the ones of a bird who fights against a strong wind.
- I promise.
Slowly Miharu guides Yoite down, till he has his back on the mattress. Yoite looks at him, his hands grabbing Miharu’s pyjamas.
- Trust me, Yoite.
And Yoite feels his fingers liquefy.
As he feels the softness of Miharu’s lips, the warmth of his body over his own, everything else becomes white noise.
Miharu looks at Yoite’s chest rising and falling. Outside the noon sun twirls in the air. The room is filled with the light sound of Yoite’s breaths. The warmth is still there, as Miharu realizes what he dreamt. As he realize that he is the one who is lost.
There’s only one thought flying around in his mind as a bird in a cage: If only I could make you mine.
xposted atnabari_no_ou, yoite_miharu, 30_kisses