Glee/ I'll make it all go away
Finn walks along the corridor. It has been quite a busy day, he would say hectic, if he knew what it means. There’s no one around the school at this time of the day, and somehow the place is creepier, but really he doesn’t mind, he is fed up with being surrounded by people talking, shouting, kissing. And he knows that he shouldn’t feel like this, ‘cause he is the football team’s quarterback, the popular guy, but really he doesn’t feel like it after all the mess with Quinn and the baby. He is getting over it but still it’s a bit hard sometimes. He passes a hand through his hair. He still doesn’t want to go back home yet, it’s not as if he really has something to do. Playing video games would be good but lately he is not even able to do that.
He starts walking towards the auditorium. Singing will do him good, pushing out every thought, that’s why he had started singing under the shower, that’s why he had joined the Glee club. ‘Cause it made him feel good. So he pushes the door of the auditorium open.
The air is filled with the smell of wood and of little, soft sounds. Finn stops and tries to force his ears. The little sounds are the same ones which when he was little his mother did at night when she thought he was already sleeping in his room. Finn may not be the smartest one in the bunch but he knows that there’s someone crying in the room. He swallows and in silence he stretches out. He feels his heartbeat speeding up as he spots the little figure sitting in front of the piano. He pushes his hands down in his pockets, biting at his lower lip. Kurt has not seen him yet, so he could actually just walk away without being noticed. But he really can’t do that, can’t he? When he was in the worst moment of all, when he had thought to be only surrounded by liars, Kurt was there. Finn takes a deep breath and goes down the stairs. Silently he walks up to the stage. Kurt’s small shoulders are shaking lightly following the rhythm of his sobs. Finn knows that it is stupid but Kurt’s sobs make him think of candies, so little and soft. They make something twirl inside of him. He climbs on the stage and clears his throat. Kurt almost jumps from the stool, eyes wide.
-Finn!
He can’t believe that of all the people the one to see him crying is Finn. If it’s Finn he can’t explain, he can’t let it all out. Kurt lowers his gaze again.
-Hey, Kurt…
God, he sounds so stupid, but he really doesn’t know what else to say. Kurt lifts his gaze and looks at Finn standing in front of him, he passes his cured hands on his wet cheeks trying to dry his tears away. Finn thinks that Kurt’s eyes when he cries are even icier, and deeper. He swallows and shifts his feet over the wooden floor. He remembers how Kurt did it, how Kurt was sitting by his side, patting his back gently. He remembers the sensation of Kurt’s little and light hand on his shoulders. So he walks closer and sits down on the stool by Kurt’s side. Kurt stiffens, his hands closed up in pale fists over his knees. Finn wishes so much that Kurt could say something, anything, but he remains silent looking at the floor in front of him.
Finn feels as if his hand is heavier than a rock but he really wants to try to do the right thing for Kurt, he can’t explain to himself why he wants it so badly, he doesn’t want to explain it to himself.
So he just reaches out and brushes as lightly as he can his fingers on Kurt’s back. He thinks that the smaller boy is quite thin. He can’t help the desire to lean more in the contact, so he presses the palm of his hand a little bit more against Kurt’s back.
Kurt’s breath plays hide and seek in his lungs as his brain registers that, yes, Finn is patting his back, that Finn is deliberately touching him, not just brushing against him by mistake or ‘cause they are trying some choreography. But even something good like this is painful now, Kurt closes his eyes and lets warm tears fall down and slide on his cheeks.
Oh crap, has he done something wrong? He remembers that it was comforting having Kurt by his side, a little weird alright, but comforting. Maybe he really is not good enough.
-Look, Kurt, uh sorry I didn’t mean to…
His words sound wrong to his ears as they rebounds slightly in the empty space of the auditorium.
Kurt shakes his head and his voice is low and sad when he speaks.
-No, Finn, really it’s not that…
He has to bite his lip to try to stop more tears.
Finn knows that probably he is going to do another stupid thing but he really can’t stand anymore the sight of Kurt crying. So he slides an arm around Kurt’s shoulders and pushes him closer. Kurt takes in breath as he feels Finn’s body against his own. Finn’s voice is deep and serious as he speaks.
-Really you can talk to me, Kurt.
Kurt grips the front of Finn’s jumper.
-I…I don’t think I can Finn.
Finn doesn’t know how to explain the little pang of pain inside of him as he hears those words, he squeezes a little bit more Kurt’s shoulder.
-You can. Trust me.
Kurt focuses his attention on the stripes of Finn’s jumper and swallows.
-I…it’s because…
Finn looks down at him and Kurt lifts his face, they are so close, and really things can’t get any worse, can’t they? Finn is getting over all the mess with Quinn and it’s just a matter of time before he falls within Rachel’s waiting arms. So Kurt just does what his mind has been screaming from the beginning, he tilts his head to the side and gently presses his lips to Finn’s. He feels Finn’s nails digging deeper in his shoulder, it’s painful to imagine the shock on Finn’s face, so he backs away and opens his eyes.
Finn is staring at Kurt, he knows that probably his mouth is open but he doesn’t have the energy to close it, as he doesn’t have the energy to pull his arm away from Kurt’s shoulders.
-See Finn…I said I couldn’t talk with you about my problem ‘cause my problem is you…
Finn shakes his head, trying to clear his ideas in the process.
-B..but…
Kurt stands up, his arms behind his back, his heart beating like crazy.
-I was crying because I know that I’m never going to have the chance to love you as I want, not even now that you’re over Quinn.
He can feel new tears threatening to fall, so he turns.
-Well I think I’d better go now.
And really Finn doesn’t know why but he grabs Kurt’s hand and pushes him against his chest again.
Kurt tries to push away but Finn just doesn’t seem able to let go.
-I…I am sorry Kurt, I am sorry.
And Kurt stops trying to push away and just hides his face against Finn’s broad chest, new tears falling down. Finn’s body warmth is more comforting than his words.
Finn keeps his gaze straight in front of him, it’s painful to feel Kurt’s sobs reverberating through his body. He has never felt such a strong desire to make someone feel better, not even with Quinn when he thought the baby was his.
And his hands almost move on their own accord as they cup Kurt’s face, lifting it up. Kurt blinks, trying to clear his vision.
-Finn?
Finn gently leans in and kisses Kurt, moving slowly his lips, licking gently at Kurt’s lips. He has never put such gentleness in any kiss he has given before, previous kisses were different, they came out of arousal, while this…this came out from something else, even though Finn can’t say exactly from what.
When Finn breaks the kiss, he passes his thumbs over Kurt’s wet cheeks.
-I’ll make it all go away, Kurt. I’ll make all of your tears go away.