death note/ Following
Title: Following
Author:
ca_te
Characters: Near-centric, mentions of Mello (NearxMello one sided)
Rating: G
Notes: A drabble I feel to dedicate to my dearicequeenrex
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or its characters
It's not like he has ever said it explicitly. Explicit things somehow are scary and it doesn't take a genius to understand that human beings are made in such a way they tend to avoid what scares them.
He has never said it out loud. Something like “I will follow you” doesn't make sense in this world. But Near knew it was all a matter of following. First it was L, leading them all, yes, it may be cynical to say, but he was like the candy hanging in front of them, the promise of a sense they could give to their, let's face the reality, unwanted lives.
Then L was not there any more, and really, they were geniuses, they knew that after a life there's always a death but yet...yet it couldn't make sense, for none of them.
At that time Near had thought he could stop following, following like a lost stupid little bird. But then...then Mello left too.
Near had expected it, he had expected to see Matt's eyes red for the tears he anyway tried to hide, he had expected Roger to tell him to go too. Near hadn't liked at all the idea of being in the world, to collaborate with agents with the IQ of a seven years old child.
But then again following was what he had always done. Before there were baggy jeans and bony hands, now golden hair and a rosary.
Of course he couldn't say “I'm following you, Mello”, nor he can now.
But there are times, when the only lights on at the SPK's quarters are the ones of the computers, when the sound of the dices and the plastic robots echoes as if he were in the belly of the word, when he feels like taking his phone and calling. He knows the voice that would answer would be annoyed and would have that slightly high pitched tone. He knows Matt would mumble at Mello's side. And the sounds of being together are sounds that the little albino, even though used to loneliness, doesn't want to hear. So he just sits there, among plastic toys. There are nights Gevanni remains with him, but Near knows that what he continues to seek in those warm, big hands touching him, are Mello's long and elegant fingers.
And Near wishes he could stop to follow but the Mello he has in his memories, the angry Mello, the beautiful Mello, remains there, and he can't help but wanting to reach him.
xposted atdeathnote_fics
Author:
ca_te
Characters: Near-centric, mentions of Mello (NearxMello one sided)
Rating: G
Notes: A drabble I feel to dedicate to my dearicequeenrex
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or its characters
It's not like he has ever said it explicitly. Explicit things somehow are scary and it doesn't take a genius to understand that human beings are made in such a way they tend to avoid what scares them.
He has never said it out loud. Something like “I will follow you” doesn't make sense in this world. But Near knew it was all a matter of following. First it was L, leading them all, yes, it may be cynical to say, but he was like the candy hanging in front of them, the promise of a sense they could give to their, let's face the reality, unwanted lives.
Then L was not there any more, and really, they were geniuses, they knew that after a life there's always a death but yet...yet it couldn't make sense, for none of them.
At that time Near had thought he could stop following, following like a lost stupid little bird. But then...then Mello left too.
Near had expected it, he had expected to see Matt's eyes red for the tears he anyway tried to hide, he had expected Roger to tell him to go too. Near hadn't liked at all the idea of being in the world, to collaborate with agents with the IQ of a seven years old child.
But then again following was what he had always done. Before there were baggy jeans and bony hands, now golden hair and a rosary.
Of course he couldn't say “I'm following you, Mello”, nor he can now.
But there are times, when the only lights on at the SPK's quarters are the ones of the computers, when the sound of the dices and the plastic robots echoes as if he were in the belly of the word, when he feels like taking his phone and calling. He knows the voice that would answer would be annoyed and would have that slightly high pitched tone. He knows Matt would mumble at Mello's side. And the sounds of being together are sounds that the little albino, even though used to loneliness, doesn't want to hear. So he just sits there, among plastic toys. There are nights Gevanni remains with him, but Near knows that what he continues to seek in those warm, big hands touching him, are Mello's long and elegant fingers.
And Near wishes he could stop to follow but the Mello he has in his memories, the angry Mello, the beautiful Mello, remains there, and he can't help but wanting to reach him.
xposted atdeathnote_fics