Selfishness and Romance
I have asserted for a long time that while "love" is about the other,
"in love" is fundamentally self-centered; it is about how one feels.
Love is about how one acts;
'In Love" is about one's feelings.
On a related note...
The following is from a 1988 article Tracy Alexander wrote
for the newsletter "Inside I&O."
In summary, keep these guidelines in mind when dealing with intimate relationships:
A) Put yourself first.
B) What is best for you is also best for all concerned.
C) We harm those we love the most when we give into their irrationalities.
D) We also contribute to their irrational behavior when we let them get away with it.
E) Those who refuse to grow up have to be put into the position of facing the consequences of their actions.
F) Only when a person accepts responsibility for his actions will he mature and enhance the possibilities for building an increasingly rewarding future with his romantic love partner.
[Clearly, she was following the grammar of the time; "he" can be a man or a woman.]
Comments?