~Memories of my mom~
So, my mom passed away several weeks ago and I am not really sure how to deal with it to this day. So far I have kept up contact with my friends and family and I have visited with a grief counselor on campus. So I'm not completely without the support to deal with it but I do still feel lost.
Along with the loss of my mom, I have started changing drastically in little ways. I used to never care about keeping photographs of friends and family around the apartment but now I have a strong desire to do so. Mom and I used to fight and bicker all the time but now I have an intense desire to defend her image and show her all the respect in the world. I have questioned a lot the purpose of my existence over and over but now it seems I have had it all along: to carry on all the things my mom taught me. She was very proud and strong and was involved with so many aspects of society. It sounds so cliche but I want to carry on her legacy in a sense, even as introverted as I am. Or at the very least find a future partner that would be as strong and have those kinds of ideals for advancing women.
Another thing I started doing was writing a list of all the fond memories of my mom. A lot of them are pretty focused on me, like all the things she did for me, but still they show how much love she had to give whether to me or anyone else. I want to become a more open person now and not so focused on myself and my "woes". It won't happen over night but I hope I can make more time to think about my mom and become this strange "new" person I'm trying to form myself to be.
-Jas 詹斯
Along with the loss of my mom, I have started changing drastically in little ways. I used to never care about keeping photographs of friends and family around the apartment but now I have a strong desire to do so. Mom and I used to fight and bicker all the time but now I have an intense desire to defend her image and show her all the respect in the world. I have questioned a lot the purpose of my existence over and over but now it seems I have had it all along: to carry on all the things my mom taught me. She was very proud and strong and was involved with so many aspects of society. It sounds so cliche but I want to carry on her legacy in a sense, even as introverted as I am. Or at the very least find a future partner that would be as strong and have those kinds of ideals for advancing women.
Another thing I started doing was writing a list of all the fond memories of my mom. A lot of them are pretty focused on me, like all the things she did for me, but still they show how much love she had to give whether to me or anyone else. I want to become a more open person now and not so focused on myself and my "woes". It won't happen over night but I hope I can make more time to think about my mom and become this strange "new" person I'm trying to form myself to be.
-Jas 詹斯