o come all ye faithful
talked to my parents this afternoon to wish them a merry christmas. the ensuing conversation was much heavier than i'd expected.
my mom plays "chestnuts roasting on an open fire" on the piano for me, which immediately brings tears to my eyes. i feel so proud and appreciative of her then, and grateful for being her daughter and knowing her.
she also tells me that my uncle and aunt whose house they have been living in for the past decade have decided to move back home next year, so they now need to move out. and my cousin and her boyfriend are moving back too and intending to live in my grandma's house, so my parents are basically out on the street at this point.
can't say i didn't see this one coming.
so now my mom and dad are planning on putting our house in kaneohe up for sale. the first and only house they ever owned. the place they held onto for 20 years because they hoped that someday i'd move back to hawai'i and live there.
i don't know what to say to any of this. a part of me absolutely knew this would happen, but i just didn't want to believe it. i didn't want something so...fucking terrible to come true. my parents are well into their sixties. they don't need this: to be kicked out of their home and forced to uproot their lives because my uncle thinks he's been doing us all a favor by allowing us to keep his seat warm.
this is enough to make the entire phone call overwhelming. but then i get passed to my dad.
we chit-chat about the seahawks and what my parents are having for dinner. then he asks about how the job hunt is going. he's my dad. and this is what he cares about. i explain that i've been applying to some things, that i have an interview with a recruiter on friday. he doesn't seem satisfied by any of this, even though there couldn't possibly be a worse time of year to be unemployed since nobody is sitting at a desk today.
him: "well, i may have a lead or two on some jobs if you're interested. marketing jobs. send me your resume, but it should be more sales and marketing focused."
me: "okay. i'm open to whatever, assuming i'm even qualified."
him: "yeah. just send me your resume and i'll forward it along. the jobs are in honolulu though."
me: "oh, so there's that."
i don't think he was purposefully trying to force feed me suggestions about moving home, but i don't think he was avoiding it either.
five years ago, i would've conveniently forgotten to ever send my resume on because the thought of moving back to hawai'i was a version of my own personal hell. now, in light of my current work and [non]relationship situations, things are different.
just stay with me here.
i could get a job in hawai'i; i think quite easily. my dad knows people who know people. and while i'd like to get hired on my own merit, i'm not above using my family name. that's how it works there.
i could pay my parents rent and live in that house - the house they always wanted me to have. designed by my architect father and built by our family friends. the only house we've ever lived in that i really considered a home. ellie could have a yard to play in. of course, she could be in quarantine for six months, but eventually, she could have a yard to play in. i could even get another dog.
i could be closer to my aging parents and my questionably healthy dad. i could see them more than once a year. be there in person to see my mom play christmas carols on the piano. have thanksgiving dinner with them for the first time in ten years.
i could settle down. i know, this sounds ridiculous coming from someone who never ever wanted to settle. but i'm 28. and i could finally be the kind of late twenty-year-old my parents - and let's be totally honest, even myself to an extent - really want. a steady job, a house, a dog and maybe even a boyfriend. because a part of me is fairly certain that it's easier to meet someone in hawai'i. granted, i'm not necessarily sure this is true, but a lot of the time, it sure seems like it. being a small fish in a small pond or something.
have i lost you yet?
sigh.
i don't know. granted, there are a hell of a lot of cons. no pro sports teams at all - none. at all. NONE. exponentially fewer shows. leaving the very, very tight-knit family i've made in seattle. being at least five hours and $300 away from any vacation spot in the contiguous united states. expensive groceries.
i mean, maybe this is the whiskey and eggnog talking, but...
that could be a good life, couldn't it?
my mom plays "chestnuts roasting on an open fire" on the piano for me, which immediately brings tears to my eyes. i feel so proud and appreciative of her then, and grateful for being her daughter and knowing her.
she also tells me that my uncle and aunt whose house they have been living in for the past decade have decided to move back home next year, so they now need to move out. and my cousin and her boyfriend are moving back too and intending to live in my grandma's house, so my parents are basically out on the street at this point.
can't say i didn't see this one coming.
so now my mom and dad are planning on putting our house in kaneohe up for sale. the first and only house they ever owned. the place they held onto for 20 years because they hoped that someday i'd move back to hawai'i and live there.
i don't know what to say to any of this. a part of me absolutely knew this would happen, but i just didn't want to believe it. i didn't want something so...fucking terrible to come true. my parents are well into their sixties. they don't need this: to be kicked out of their home and forced to uproot their lives because my uncle thinks he's been doing us all a favor by allowing us to keep his seat warm.
this is enough to make the entire phone call overwhelming. but then i get passed to my dad.
we chit-chat about the seahawks and what my parents are having for dinner. then he asks about how the job hunt is going. he's my dad. and this is what he cares about. i explain that i've been applying to some things, that i have an interview with a recruiter on friday. he doesn't seem satisfied by any of this, even though there couldn't possibly be a worse time of year to be unemployed since nobody is sitting at a desk today.
him: "well, i may have a lead or two on some jobs if you're interested. marketing jobs. send me your resume, but it should be more sales and marketing focused."
me: "okay. i'm open to whatever, assuming i'm even qualified."
him: "yeah. just send me your resume and i'll forward it along. the jobs are in honolulu though."
me: "oh, so there's that."
i don't think he was purposefully trying to force feed me suggestions about moving home, but i don't think he was avoiding it either.
five years ago, i would've conveniently forgotten to ever send my resume on because the thought of moving back to hawai'i was a version of my own personal hell. now, in light of my current work and [non]relationship situations, things are different.
just stay with me here.
i could get a job in hawai'i; i think quite easily. my dad knows people who know people. and while i'd like to get hired on my own merit, i'm not above using my family name. that's how it works there.
i could pay my parents rent and live in that house - the house they always wanted me to have. designed by my architect father and built by our family friends. the only house we've ever lived in that i really considered a home. ellie could have a yard to play in. of course, she could be in quarantine for six months, but eventually, she could have a yard to play in. i could even get another dog.
i could be closer to my aging parents and my questionably healthy dad. i could see them more than once a year. be there in person to see my mom play christmas carols on the piano. have thanksgiving dinner with them for the first time in ten years.
i could settle down. i know, this sounds ridiculous coming from someone who never ever wanted to settle. but i'm 28. and i could finally be the kind of late twenty-year-old my parents - and let's be totally honest, even myself to an extent - really want. a steady job, a house, a dog and maybe even a boyfriend. because a part of me is fairly certain that it's easier to meet someone in hawai'i. granted, i'm not necessarily sure this is true, but a lot of the time, it sure seems like it. being a small fish in a small pond or something.
have i lost you yet?
sigh.
i don't know. granted, there are a hell of a lot of cons. no pro sports teams at all - none. at all. NONE. exponentially fewer shows. leaving the very, very tight-knit family i've made in seattle. being at least five hours and $300 away from any vacation spot in the contiguous united states. expensive groceries.
i mean, maybe this is the whiskey and eggnog talking, but...
that could be a good life, couldn't it?