No Polka Tonight, 1/1, PG-13
Title: No Polka Tonight
Author: boy_named_susie
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama, Humor
Prompts Used: Pretend Marriage, Confused, Dennis
Summary: Did Cordy just say "married?" Cordy and Angel do some undercover work.
Word Count: 2,444
Notes: Set early season two Ats. My first longer Cordy/Angel fic (so far I've only done C/A drabbles).
The couple looked weary as they entered the front door of the Hyperion. They obviously hadn’t slept in days, and the woman looked like she’d been crying. Cordelia knew something was wrong the moment she looked at them.
“We’re looking for Angel Investigations. Is this the place?” the man asked.
“Angel Investigations, that’s us. Please, sit down.” She ushered them into Angel’s office and called to Wesley to join them. Angel was upstairs sleeping, and she figured it would be best not to bother him until she knew what was going on.
“Wesley Wyndam-Price. This is my associate Cordelia Chase. Angel isn’t here at the moment, Mr…?”
“Lionel Caine, and this is my wife Stacey.”
“Glad to meet you, Mr. Caine. As I was saying, our employer is out right now, but how can we help you?”
“Our newborn baby was kidnapped three days ago. No one’s been able to help us find her. And the police have been very skeptical since the moment we called them.”
“That’s terrible,” Cordy replied, “But why are you having problems with the police? Surely this is the kind of thing they handle all the time.”
Stacey spoke for the first time, choking back a sob. “Because they don’t believe us. They don’t believe what we told them about what took Kaylee. Finally, this morning, a detective gave us your card and suggested that we contact you, that you specialized in things like this.”
Wesley and Cordy shared a look. They had both figured out by now that whatever had taken the Caine child clearly wasn’t human, but they patiently waited for the couple to continue.
“We were at home, and Stacey had just put Kaylee to bed, when she suddenly began crying. Stacey got up and walked into Kaylee’s room and began screaming. I ran into the room and found two creatures. One had shoved my wife to the floor and the other had picked up Kaylee and was in the process of climbing through the window with her. I tried to stop them, but the first *thing* hit me, and when I woke up, my wife was sobbing and Kaylee and the creatures were gone.” Lionel struggled to explain what had occurred. “When the police came, they didn’t believe us and insinuated that we were both on drugs. We don’t know what to do, but we need you to help us get Kaylee back from those things.”
“Of course.” Wesley pulled out a notebook. “Can you tell me what they looked like?”
*****
Angel strolled down the stairs of the hotel a few hours after the Caines had left. He was smiling and almost felt like whistling. He’d just woken up from a dream featuring Cordelia, and although he told himself he shouldn’t be having such thoughts about Cordy, he couldn’t help but remember how nice her warm skin had felt against his cool body before his alarm had interrupted his dream.
“And the sleeping beauty awakes,” Cordy swiveled around in her chair to stare at Angel. “And about time too. We have work to do.”
“What’s going on?” Angel asked as he tried not to stare at Cordy’s mouth. Why hadn’t he noticed how nice her mouth was before? And her hair. It always smelled like strawberries. In fact, he could smell it right now. Mmm.
“… so Wesley and I were thinking… Are you even listening to me?” Cordy demanded suddenly.
“Of course,” Damn it Angel, get yourself together and listen to what Cordy is saying. “You and Wesley were thinking.”
“We were thinking it would be best if you and I were married. I mean, no offense to Wesley, but no one’s going to believe that a hottie like me would marry a dork like him. And for practical matters, it just makes much more sense for you and me to do it.”
“What?!” Angel was certain he’d misheard Cordy. Sure he’d just been dreaming about her, which was a little out of the ordinary, but there certainly hadn’t been any wedding bells in sight even in his dream.
“See! I *knew* you weren’t listening,” Cordy proclaimed triumphantly. “Now I don’t know if I want *you* for my husband either. No one wants a man who doesn’t listen,” she continued as she stared pointedly at Angel, her hands on her hips.
Seeing the confused look on Angel’s face, Cordy decided she’d have a little bit more fun with him before bringing him up to speed. “I was thinking of an October wedding. Fall is such a nice season, and summer weddings are *so* overdone. Wesley already said he’d be your best man, which, duh, you don’t have any other friends, so that was a given. And you should see the dress I’ve picked out. The neckline is to die for. I’ve started making calls to reserve a hall for the banquet but…”
“Wesley, help me,” Angel practically gasped as the former watcher entered the room.
“Ah, Angel, I trust Cordy’s filled you in. I’ve taken the liberty of procuring rings for the happy couple.” Wesley held up a tiny, black felt box.
“Ooh, jewelry,” Cordy squealed. “Gimme mine!”
“Have you both gone insane?!” Angel practically roared. “What is going on here?”
“Geez, is that any way to speak to your future wife?” Cordy demanded.
“Didn’t Cordelia tell you about the Caines?” Wesley asked Angel.
“Cordelia didn’t tell me anything except that she’s planning to drag me down the aisle.”
“I did so,” Cordy stated indignantly. “*You* just weren’t listening.”
“Well I’m listening now,” Angel shot back.
Wesley quickly explained what the Caines had told them during their visit and detailed what he and Cordelia had uncovered while Angel had been sleeping. “Apparently, a man named Darryl Stover is running a black market baby ring here in L.A. He’s hired a couple of Mutu demons to kidnap newborn human babies. Then he sells them, no questions asked, for any purpose. He’s become the go-to guy in the area for everyone from baby-eating demons to couples with lots of cash that don’t want to go through the lengthy adoption process.”
“So,” Cordy continued, “That’s where Wesley and I decided that you and I would come in. Stover doesn’t just meet with anyone, but Wesley has managed to get us an appointment with him, and you and I will pose as a married couple who want a baby.”
“Why the charade?” Angel asked. “Why don’t we just storm in there and take care of this Stover guy?”
“Because, according to my sources, Stover doesn’t keep the babies at his business office. If we show up with guns blazing, we might not find out where he keeps the children.” Wesley explained. “Here, put on your ring,” he said as he gave Angel the black box. “Cordelia has already planned your cover story, and she’ll explain it to you in the car on the way to Stover’s office.”
*****
“I still don’t like this.” Angel grumbled as he and Cordelia got out of his car and walked towards the entrance to Stover’s office.
“Well maybe if you didn’t sleep all day you could have had some input in all this.” Cordy retorted.
“You know, I am the boss…” Angel started.
“Pfft, like that means anything.” Cordelia interrupted. “You’re also forgetting that I am an actress, so I have way more experience than you in deciding how to play a scene.”
“Fine, Cordelia, we’ll do it your way.”
“Was there ever any doubt that we wouldn’t?” Cordy smiled.
*****
“Mr. and Mrs. Phillips, how lovely to meet you.” Stover shook Angel’s hand and offered them a seat in his spacious office. The lush surroundings made it very clear that the man was doing very well in his chosen line of work.
“And it’s wonderful to meet you, Mr. Stover,” Cordelia replied. “I’m so glad you could see us on such short notice. Dylan and I have been trying for so long to have a baby, and we had just about given up hope when we heard about your services. Naturally, after all our disappointing experiences with fertility treatments and the lengthy and intrusive adoption process, we were in quite a rush to come meet with you.”
“Absolutely.” Angel agreed.
“Although all of this has been really hard for me, I think it’s been much harder for Dylan.” Cordy rubbed Angel’s leg in a sympathetic gesture and then took his hand in hers. “It’s been really tough for you, hasn’t it sweetie?” She looked sadly at Angel, and then turned to Stover in a confidential manner and lowered her voice, “He comes from a really big family. All his siblings have several children, so he’s gotten a lot of ribbing about not being a real man because of his *problem* down there.”
“Oww,” Cordy squealed as Angel squeezed her hand a bit too hard.
“Do you think we could maybe get on with this?” Angel asked through gritted teeth.
“See, he’s very sensitive about it,” Cordy whispered loudly to Stover.
“Of course, it’s a very delicate matter, very upsetting,” Stover interjected, trying to placate Angel. “I can see that you two would be lovely parents, so let’s get down to business. If you can pay, we can send you home with the baby of your choice today.”
“We get to pick a baby?” Angel inquired.
“Yes, we keep an inventory on hand just for that purpose. And if you don’t see anything you like, just tell me what you want, and I’ll find it for you.” Stover said. “If you’ll just follow me this way, I’ll show you what we have in stock.” Stover exited his office and began walking down the hall, indicating for them to follow.
“I thought he didn’t keep the babies here,” Angel hissed under his breath. “I didn’t bring any weapons with me.”
“Well I guess you’ll improvise,” Cordy whispered back.
Stover had stopped in front of a large steel door that seemed very out of place in the luxurious office. The door did not have a handle, but Stover opened it nonetheless after repeating an incantation. “After you.”
Angel entered the room first and was amazed to find roughly a dozen cribs, each containing a baby.
“As you can see, we have a wide variety of available children,” Stover began as he entered the room after Cordelia.
“I see that. And I assume there’s a wide variety of upset parents that would love to have their children back.” Angel angrily shoved Stover against the wall. “How long did you really think you were going to be able to get away with this?”
“Uh, Angel, I think he’s the least of our worries right now,” Cordy exclaimed as two Mutu demons entered from a second door to the room.
“I’ll deal with you in a minute,” Angel told Stover as he quickly turned to face the advancing Mutus, both of which were armed with battle axes.
Stover, free of Angel’s grasp, tried to run for the door they had entered but was met by Cordy. “Think you’re going somewhere, buddy?” She asked as she punched him in the face.
A few minutes later, Angel had slain both the Mutus, though he had sustained a chest wound in the process. The room was in a state of uproar, scared babies screaming and crying in response to the fight that had just occurred. Angel was at a loss as to what to do, while Cordy hurriedly flitted around the room, picking up babies, rocking them in her arms, and comforting them until they were calm.
“A little help would be nice,” she called over to Angel.
“I don’t know how to deal with babies.”
“It’s not rocket science. Just pick one up.”
Angel picked up the crying child closest to him, who immediately started sobbing even louder. “What did I do?”
“Nevermind,” Cordy said as she came and took the baby from Angel. “Just go call Wesley and get him over here right away. We need to figure out who all these children belong to and get them home ASAP.”
*****
“Thanks, Dennis,” Cordy called out when the lights flipped on as she and Angel entered her apartment, which, as it was closer to Stover’s office than the Hyperion, she had insisted on stopping there to patch Angel up. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. Bathroom, Angel, I can’t have you bleeding all over my carpet.”
Angel obediently followed Cordy to the bathroom where she began pulling out gauze, band aids, and other first aid items from her medicine cabinet. Angel watched in silence as Cordy bustled around the room and then removed his shirt when Cordelia ordered him to take it off. Her warm fingers felt nice against his chest, and the moment she touched him, all thoughts of the pain from his wound vanished. Cordelia really was an amazing woman, he thought to himself.
“Cordy, I…” Angel didn’t quite know what to say, but he wanted to say something. “Thanks for always taking such good care of me,” he finished lamely.
“Well if I didn’t, who would silly?” Cordy’s smile was wide and Angel wondered why he’d never realized how beautiful it was, how beautiful *she* was. In fact, he wondered why he’d never noticed a lot of things about Cordelia. She taped the last bandage, patted it, and said, “That ought to hold. You’re all done.”
Before she could move away, Angel covered her small hand with his and held it against his chest. He could hear her heartbeat quicken as he held her hand over the location where his own heart had long ago ceased to beat. “Cordy, I…” Again, he was at a loss for words, though he felt like he had a million things he wanted to tell her. “I…”
As Cordelia and Angel stood there, close together, all of the lights in the apartment suddenly dimmed, and two candles began magically burning on a table in the living room. Cordelia laughed, “Wow, Dennis must really like you. His normal response to men in my apartment is changing the radio to the polka station and turning all the lights *on.*”
“Dennis is a good judge of character. You should listen to him more often.”
“You think so?” Cordy’s eyes twinkled mischievously as she leaned forward and kissed Angel gently. “If you’re giving me bad advice, Dennis, I’m going to kill you,” she called out to the ghost before Angel pulled her back towards him and covered her mouth with his. She kissed him back, and Angel thought that these kisses were much nicer than the ones in his dream.