Not At All, Chapter 3
Chapter 3:
“Knock, knock,” Xander announces, trying to force his voice to sound casual as he leans his head into Dawn’s former room. “Cordy?”
Cordelia sticks her head out of the bathroom, hair wet from the shower. “One sec, Xand.”
“Oh, right… Of course,” Xander says, awkwardly, wiping his hands on his thighs as he takes a seat on the double bed in the middle of the room.
Her hair is long again, like he remembers from high school, and she looks only slightly older than she did then, too, whereas he is thirty-something and pudgy.
“Sorry,” she apologizes warmly, emerging with a fluffy towel wrapped around her body. “My clothes are a little un-wearable,” she shrugs.
“I think I have the cure for that,” Xander smiles offering her a pile of clothes. “They’re Angel’s.” She falters at that. “Buffy sent them. You’re a bit taller and curvier than she is.”
“Are you calling me fat?” she teases. Seeing Xander fumble, she decides to cut him some slack. “Just kidding, Xander. How’d you know I was here?”
“I bumped into Buffy and Henry on the way to her room.”
“He’s awake?” she asks, using her second towel to dry her hair.
“Yeah, and stinky, apparently. He asked for a shower.”
Cordy smiles. “Sounds like him.” She gestures to the bathroom. “I’m gonna change. Don’t go anywhere.”
Xander nods. As she slips back into the bathroom, Xander stands, noting the crumpled papers on the dresser. He knows it’s prying, but he has so many questions. He picks up the first paper from amongst abused bills in several currencies, noticing it’s actually a photo, worn and tattered. Turning it over, he reveals a very old snapshot of Angel and Cordelia, gazing down at the bundle of blankets and blue eyes Cordelia cradles in her arms. Xander has heard about the baby, Connor, but has never seen a picture, nor learned how close to being a family Angel and Cordy had come. Gently, Xander turns it back over, reaching for the second one. This one is even grimier and more wrinkled. He flips it over to find a pretty, blonde girl-next-door looking back at him, grinning over her shoulder at the photographer. He doesn’t recognize her, nor can he place her from any of the scant stories of L.A. he’s heard.
“Whatcha lookin’ at, Harris?”
He should feel guilty for getting caught snooping, but instead he turns the picture to Cordelia.
“Who’s this?”
He knows from the look on her face that she’s clamming up. She plasters on her best fake smile and takes the photo from his hands, placing it back on the dresser with a reverent stroke.
“Julia.”
Xander gives the ‘I need more info’ face.
“Julia McAlister. The twins’ mom.”
“Well, where is she…” Her eyes say everything. “Oh. O-oh….”
“I really don’t wanna talk about it, Xander,” she pleads, taking a seat.
“Subject dropped,” Xander says, overly enthusiastic. “So… nice weather, huh?”
Cordy rolls her eyes. “You made better small talk in closets. “
Xander smiles nostalgically. “Only because I was trying to get into your pants.”
“Mmmh. Not my pants you’re in anymore.”
Xander’s pretty sure he blushes at that. “Cor… it’s…”
“Relax, I understand. Pretty girl, not the baby she once was. You’ve always been close. Higher Being. I know these things.”
Xander laughs.
“No, it’s good. It’s good that some of you could move on. You’ve all lost so many people. But now Willow has Kennedy. You have Dawn. Buffy and Angel have each other.”
She says the last part nonchalantly and it startles him. He’s not sure just what happened between the two, but from what he’s gathered over the years, Angel and Cordelia were, at one point, in love.
“That doesn’t bother you? Buffy and Angel hopping into bed together?”
“I hardly call ten years together just “hopping into bed”. And no, why would you think it would bother me?”
“Because I saw the picture, Cordy,” he says empathically.
She freezes, closing her eyes and drawing in a deep breath. She pulls her knees up and buries her face in them momentarily, still breathing deeply. She realizes too late that she’s wearing Angel’s clothes. That she’s breathing him in. She struggles against the tears, because she’s a Higher Being and stronger than this and goddammit she is not going to cry in front of Xander frickin’ Harris.
“You and Angel in that picture… That’s not something that just goes away because one of you is dead. Or in this case, both. You don’t think that if Anya waltzed back into my life, that it wouldn’t give me pause? Make things a little messy between Dawn and me? I mean, I asked that girl to marry me. I treated her like crap and wussed out, yes, because that’s my specialty, but I wanted to spend my life with her. That doesn’t change just because she’s dead. All of us are fully aware of what our relationships are. For probably the first time, we all have fairly healthy, open relationships. But you, and Spike, and Tara, and Anya, you’re all the elephants in the room, no matter what. Do you think a day goes by when one of us doesn’t wonder ‘what if?’ On both sides of the bed. Cordy… That picture… You and Angel and Connor…”
“Don’t talk about Connor,” she snaps, raising her head, eyes burning.
Xander wrinkles his brow, rant delayed. “Why can’t I talk about…”
She cuts him off with a glare. “Because I’d rather not have my greatest failure paraded around in front of my face.”
“Cordy, you didn’t fail… the name I’m not going to say because you now have super powers and could probably kill me with your pinky nail…” he rushes.
“No?” Cordy gets up, begins to compulsively straighten her meager belongings, shuffling and reshuffling the bills, handling the pictures with care. “I was off in Mexico com-shuking the Groosalugg when that sweet little baby was taken into a hell dimension to be raised by a crazy, vindictive vampire hunter, who taught him to hate his father and took every ounce of sweetness he ever had. And then I let myself get tricked into being demonized so that some crazy god could take over my body, deflower poor little Connor, and drive him absolutely friggin’ nuts! “
“Alright, I’m going to skip over the com-whatevering with the Groo-thing, ‘cause I’m not sure what that is, but it sounds dirty. And then, I’m gonna just forget I heard about the deflowering of Angel’s son, because that’s just disturbing mental imagery. I’m gonna skip right to the part where absolutely none of that is your fault. ‘Cause the shukking sounds like something we can blame on Mr. ‘Gesundheit’, and that latter part is totally the god’s fault. And believe me, I know what bitches gods can be…. So, back to you and Angel.”
“I’m dead, Xander. Gone from his world. And I can’t come back. Once Bella heals, I’m as good as dead again…”
“You and I both know it’s not that simple. He’s not going to just let you walk out that door and never see you again, not when he knows you’re in this dimension. He’s going to look for you until he either finds you, or is dust.”
“I’ve done a pretty great job hiding from the entire underworld for a decade. What’s one more vampire?”
“The whole underworld isn’t in love with you. I mean, not last time I checked…”
“Xander… Drop it.”
Xander sighs. “Dropped.” She is just going to have to deal with this herself.
“Thank you.”
“So, Giles actually sent me for you. Wanted you to know that we’ll be meeting in about an hour. I think he’s gonna make you explain yourself, young lady.”
“As best I can,” Cordy smiles sadly.
***
“Oh, cool. Do it again.”
Cordy hears Henry before she sees him, his voice drifting down the hallway from an open room. He must’ve dreamed this place, because he’s rarely so very comfortable. She peeks her head in the door, seeing him perched on Kennedy’s lap as they watch Willow levitate a few items about the room. Parlor tricks for the powerful Wicca, of course, but they hold Henry enraptured. Maybe it isn’t a dream vision that leaves him so comfortable, but those residual feelings from alternate realities.
He’s fresh from the shower, wet hair sticking up at all angles, pale skin flushed. He’s wearing an oversized Sunnydale High t-shirt that seems to be Buffy’s, and a pair of cotton pants cinched tight at the waist and rolled several times.
“Hi, Henry,” she calls to him, warmly. “Having fun?”
“Oh, hi, Cordy,” he greets her with a little wave, barely breaking his attention away from Willow.
“You okay here while I go check on your sister?”
“Sure,” he says absently, “Angel’s with her. She’s still sleeping.”
“Okay. Bye, Henry.”
“’Bye. Hey, Willow, could you lift me?”
“Sure,” Willow smiles, obviously enjoying the attention. She gives a soft smile to Cordelia before levitating the ten-year-old into the air.
“Oh, so cool. Cordy can do this to herself, but not anyone else.”
Freed briefly from the weight in her lap, Kennedy lifts herself off the ground and comes over to Cordelia.
“I can watch him while you meet with the others,” she offers, trying to seem nonchalant. “I mean, if you’re okay with that.”
“That’s fine with me. What safer place than with a Slayer? Are you sure?”
“Yeah, sure,” she says, then continues louder for Henry’s benefit. “Hank and I’ll find something fun to do. Some rabble to rouse.”
Her answer is a giggle from Henry as Willow spins him about the room.
“Well, if you’re okay with him, I’m going to go check on Bella.”
Kennedy nods, retreating back into the room and plucking Henry out of the air, throwing him onto the bed. His laughter only increases. With Kennedy now occupying Henry, Willow slips out of the room after Cordelia.
“Hey,” she says, gently. “Want some company on the walk?”
“I’ve had more company in the last eight hours than I’ve had in the past decade, but yeah, sure.”
“How’s Bella doing?” Willow asks.
“Physically healed. Psychically a little iffy,” Cordy tries to smile. “Becky says she’ll be okay if, when, she wakes up. Angel’s with her.”
“Henry told me. He kept going on about how vampires are actually cold, throwing in a lot of ‘duh’. Can’t imagine where he got that from.”
Cordy smiles sheepishly. “Yeah, funny thing about kids. They soak up everything you say. I’m just surprised their every third word isn’t a curse.”
Willow grins as they push their way into the infirmary. Cordy sees Angel hunched over Bella’s bedside and is lost in memories of the other Bella perched grinning on the other Angel’s back. She shakes them off, approaching Angel from behind and laying a hand on his shoulder. The contact, even through his shirt, sends a shock through both of them.
“Any change?” Cordy asks, quickly removing her hand.
“I sent Henry…”
“Yeah, I know,” she interrupts warmly. “I ran into him on my way here. Kennedy’s keeping an eye on him.”
“Good. Good.” After that, Angel seems to have little left to say, lost in Cordy’s eyes.
“Um, guys?” Willow interrupts, hesitantly but warmly. “I think you have company.”
Cordy breaks the contact, turning to Willow with an apology when the soft moan from beside her whips her attention back around.
“Cor?” Bella groans weakly, eyes squinting in objection to the light.
“Hey, there, Bella-bear,” Cordy says gently, trying to keep the tears of relief from her eyes. She takes the girl’s small hand as she turns down the light and sits in the chair Angel vacates. “How are you feeling?”
“Not so good,” Bella moans, shifting uncomfortably. “But better, I think. Where are we?”
“Scotland. With friends of mine.” Her eyes drift to Angel as she says this before focusing on Bella again. “With the other Slayers. The older ones.”
Bella’s brow furrows, looking around the room. “Henry?”
“Safe,” Cordy assures her, running her fingers through Bella’s blond hair. “Playing with the Slayers.”
Bella nods knowingly and then looks past her Cordy. “Who are they?”
“Old friends.”
The girl’s blue gaze levels on Angel. “He’s a vampire.”
“He is,” Cordelia confirms, squeezing Bella’s hand. “But he’s good. I promise.”
“I’m Angel,” the vampire offers, waving awkwardly at the girl.
“He’s kinda dorky for being a master,” Bella notes, earning soft laughs from Cordelia and Willow, and a surprisingly warm grin from Angel.
“I’ve been told as much. How did you know I was a master?”
Bella shrugs.
“It’s a Slayer-thing,” Willow adds. “I’m Willow, by the way. I’ve known your - Cordy, since pre-school.”
“Nice to meet you,” Bella nods.
A knock at the door alerts them of Dawn’s arrival. “Giles wants you guys now.”
“You’re leaving?” Bella questions, voice growing tight, eyes wide.
“Shh,” Cordy soothes, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Just for a few minutes, Bel’. I’ll send Henry and his new friend Kennedy in to keep you company, okay?”
“Promise?” Bella asks.
“Of course. When have I ever let you down?”
Bella only nods in response, squeezing Cordy’s hand before she lets go.
***
“The question remains, Cordelia,” Giles clears his throat after the teenage queen bee- turned-higher power’s story. “Why you? Why not send the children to where they could be raised and protected by fellow Slayers?”
Her previous explanation excluded alternate realities and the like, instead focusing on the facts in this world. To that end, she just passes a quick glance at Angel and answers: “Too obvious. Looking for a Slayer in halves? Look no further than Slayer Central. The twins need to be on the move until they are old enough to fight back effectively.”
“I take it you’re not staying, then,” Xander adds.
“Once Bella can travel safely again, we’re gone,” Cordy reiterates.
“You’ll never be able to travel safely, any of you. You said yourself that they’re catching up,” Angel says harshly, pushing himself off the wall he was leaning against.
“We keep running,” Cordy holds her ground, locked in a staring contest with Angel. Her voice gets a little softer as she continues, “It’s all we know how to do.”
Angel makes a face. “I hate this. There has to be a way I, we can help.”
Cordelia says seriously, “Forget we were ever here.”
Angel’s eyes, rimmed in yellow, narrow at her. “Cordelia, that is not an option.”
“No, it’s the only option.”
Angel growls and vamps out, surprising the rest of the inner circle but earning only a bored look from Cordelia.
“Angel….” Buffy says hesitantly, laying a hand on his arm. Angel’s fangs recede as Cordy turns her attention to Giles.
“All I ask is sanctuary until Bella can move again. A day, at the most. Then we’ll be gone.”
“Granted,” Giles says kindly, eyes softening as he sees the resolve in Cordelia’s stance. “But I refuse to give up without researching any way we may aide you. Andrew and I will get started researching this Slayer-in-halves prophecy. Willow, would you and your witches please look into any spells that may mask Cordelia and the twins from detection?”
Meeting Angel’s eyes, Cordelia says, “No tattoos, please.”
Angel grimaces; no one else gets it.
“I’ll get started, Giles,” Willow says, quickly.
Cordelia smiles kindly at her. Everyone else clears out, leaving Cordy and Angel alone.
“I should get back to Bella,” Cordy says softly, tearing her eyes away from Angel’s.
“I want to go with you,” Angel says resolutely.
Cordy puts on her best smile and purposely misunderstands him.
“I’m sure she’d love the company.”
“Cordelia,” Angel growls, taking her arm forcefully but not roughly, pulling her around to face him. “You know what I meant. I want to go with you, when you leave.”
“Angel…”
“Cordy, please let me come,” he nearly-whispers, all soulful brown eyes.
“Angel…” her voice breaks. “Please don’t ask again. I won’t be able to say no.”
Angel takes a deep, unnecessary breath and brushes his fingers tentatively across her cheek, eyes closing at the sensation. “Cordelia, please. Let me c - “
She presses her lips to his, not letting him finish the question that will ruin her.
“That wasn’t a yes,” she says, breathless, as they finally part.
Resting his forehead on hers, he allows himself the faintest hint of a smile. “It wasn’t a no.”
“They’ll be hungry,” Cordy whispers, pulling away. “The twins… They’re always hungry.”
Angel smiles stupidly. “We’ll get them some food.”
TBC