Poems, Prayers and Promises (1/1)

May 26, 2007 16:01

I'll start off the drabble-a-thon with my take on the prompts Poems, Prayers and Promises. I hope you enjoy my rusty musings.

Poems )

poems prayers promises (1/1), drabble, g, damnskippytoo, s5

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Comments 9

samsom May 26 2007, 20:33:43 UTC
These are absolutely gorgeous and lyrical and omg, not rusty at all.

My favorites:

He would be the builder of her temple and her last priest.

Yes, when everyone else has gone on and the world's been saved a few dozen times, he'll be the keeper of her memory.

Kneeling on smooth knees, he brought her still hand to his lips and prayed. "Cordy, please save me."

The picture of him holding her limp fingers to his mouth is heartbreaking.

They had both made promises. He promised in his heart that he would always keep her safe, and she promised to never leave him.

Both promises were broken.

*sobs*

You need to drabble more, you really do. These were sublime. *sighs*

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damnskippytoo May 26 2007, 20:48:14 UTC
Thank you! I feel rusty (with swollen feet). :) But I'm glad they made sense. I always feel like when I try too hard to be "poetic" it sounds phoney (since that's not my usual style) and won't make sense so it's nice to hear you got it. :D *hugs*

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boy_named_susie May 26 2007, 22:31:05 UTC
All three of these are absolutely lovely, well-written and pack a punch. samson is right - these are very lyrical and poetic. I love all of these, but particularly the second one.

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damnskippytoo May 26 2007, 22:35:26 UTC
Thank you, my little buckeye girl. :) I hope to see something from you soon!

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boy_named_susie May 26 2007, 23:33:31 UTC
It's coming! I promise. I have to keep on your good side, after all, since unlike most of my flist, you could easily drive to my house and smack me upside the head, LOL.

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damnskippytoo May 27 2007, 05:53:55 UTC
...you could easily drive to my house and smack me upside the head

Don't tempt me. I've got a new car that's just itchin' for a road trip. ;)

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xlivvielockex May 27 2007, 21:24:46 UTC
Oooh, the ladies are right. These are just amazing. They have such a lyrical quality to them. And they are all so vivid, especially with the choice of metaphors you used for each one. They are all really powerful with the images they bring up in the mind's eye. Just stunning, really. Not rusty in the slightest.

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damnskippytoo May 27 2007, 23:56:12 UTC
Thank you! Metaphors are my downfall, so it's nice to hear they worked for you. *mwah*

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(The comment has been removed)

damnskippytoo November 14 2007, 16:55:11 UTC
Thank you for finding these old chestnuts and taking time to comment. I'm so happy to hear when something I tried hard to make evocative actually works. *hugs*

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