hrmm..
Well.. I find myself bored right now, trying to find a friend (literally, not myspacically) and i wound up here, with nothing more than my thoughts. Funny how that works. I guess i do bring this upon myself some times. I'm very self destructive by just not being busy enough. You'd think I could wait a day, for this job to start and for life to become a little more busy and a little less ansy, but i can't help it. It's in my nature. Atleast though, i've only texted her once today, trying to hold back, trying not to be toooooooooooo intense so that she can hang out with her friends and enjoy a night that she deserves to have, because if you crush a butterfly by holding on to it too tightly, it'll never fly so beautifully again. Maybe I'll try to remember this place the next time i find myself needing someone to talk to. I need a place like this. It's nice.
PS. I still think about you all the time. I can't help it. I loved you for too long, and you know what, I guess I still do.. I'll be honest, it hurts when you look at me and I know there's more behind that annoying, make fun of pat attitude, and maybe one day it will come out... but don't come out. Because honestly, I kind of don't want to see it. I don't want to have to deal with it. I don't want to risk falling back in love with you. bleh, I'm done here, my heart and soul are on the page now.. Time to write a fucking song or something...
PS. I still think about you all the time. I can't help it. I loved you for too long, and you know what, I guess I still do.. I'll be honest, it hurts when you look at me and I know there's more behind that annoying, make fun of pat attitude, and maybe one day it will come out... but don't come out. Because honestly, I kind of don't want to see it. I don't want to have to deal with it. I don't want to risk falling back in love with you. bleh, I'm done here, my heart and soul are on the page now.. Time to write a fucking song or something...