(no subject)
When you're near me I have no fear
When I'm untrue you see right through me
You know me as deep as the sea goes
Calm my head whenever the storm blows
When the stars, and the moon
And the sky, fall through
I'd throw them all away when I'm hollow
Deep as the sea goes, all I know is
I would throw it all away...away
In my restless hour I'm holding
The words you say that lay my soul to sleep
I dream of buildings that burn
The sky turns black I toss and turn
When the stars, and the moon
And the sky, fall through
I'd throw them all away when I'm hollow
Deep as the sea goes, all I know is
I would throw it all away...away
This love branches out like an oak tree
Reach for the sky and roots to the sea
So when you're shaken down and broken
Find some peace of mind in knowing
I'd throw them all away when I'm hollow
Deep as the sea goes, all I know is
I would throw it all away...away
good news: i think my relationship with my dad is getting a lot better. i don't know why but as far bck as i can remember, i can't really recall any super monumental moments in my life that had soully to do with him. and this makes me feel horrible. we actually talked about it a little while ago how he hates how the whole time my sister and i were growing up, he had a 9-7 job, and couldn't spend as much time with us as he had hoped.
bad news: the exact opposite is happening with my mother. maryn and i talked about this walking to her house from dinner last night. apparently my mom has super high expectations of me, unreasonable sometimes, and she is so micromanaging of my life and in a way doesn't trust me to be successfully independent. it makes me feel kinda helpless. i guess... i mean. i don;t know.
i guess there's a lot going on right now.
the things i thought i could trust in, are kinda falling apart in a sense.
i'm having doubts, not in the cliche sense of it being "oh i don't have feelings for him anymore" with eddy.
almost like, i don't know if i can always trust him.
and my mom and i talked about it last night.
and she said to me "there's going to be a time when you need to make a decision whether or not this relationship, and friendship, are worth it to you. if you're getting enough out of it as you're putting in."
and the thing is, i do feel like i am right now. but i'm beginning to feel unsure if i still will if he keeps doing some of the things he supossedly is doing.
i mean... argh. i still love him. i still call him for hours on end, but it adds up to something that may or may not be worth it.
but theres still this feelling of safety and happiness and just... i don't know.
i so much more me when with him.
i really don't know.
When I'm untrue you see right through me
You know me as deep as the sea goes
Calm my head whenever the storm blows
When the stars, and the moon
And the sky, fall through
I'd throw them all away when I'm hollow
Deep as the sea goes, all I know is
I would throw it all away...away
In my restless hour I'm holding
The words you say that lay my soul to sleep
I dream of buildings that burn
The sky turns black I toss and turn
When the stars, and the moon
And the sky, fall through
I'd throw them all away when I'm hollow
Deep as the sea goes, all I know is
I would throw it all away...away
This love branches out like an oak tree
Reach for the sky and roots to the sea
So when you're shaken down and broken
Find some peace of mind in knowing
I'd throw them all away when I'm hollow
Deep as the sea goes, all I know is
I would throw it all away...away
good news: i think my relationship with my dad is getting a lot better. i don't know why but as far bck as i can remember, i can't really recall any super monumental moments in my life that had soully to do with him. and this makes me feel horrible. we actually talked about it a little while ago how he hates how the whole time my sister and i were growing up, he had a 9-7 job, and couldn't spend as much time with us as he had hoped.
bad news: the exact opposite is happening with my mother. maryn and i talked about this walking to her house from dinner last night. apparently my mom has super high expectations of me, unreasonable sometimes, and she is so micromanaging of my life and in a way doesn't trust me to be successfully independent. it makes me feel kinda helpless. i guess... i mean. i don;t know.
i guess there's a lot going on right now.
the things i thought i could trust in, are kinda falling apart in a sense.
i'm having doubts, not in the cliche sense of it being "oh i don't have feelings for him anymore" with eddy.
almost like, i don't know if i can always trust him.
and my mom and i talked about it last night.
and she said to me "there's going to be a time when you need to make a decision whether or not this relationship, and friendship, are worth it to you. if you're getting enough out of it as you're putting in."
and the thing is, i do feel like i am right now. but i'm beginning to feel unsure if i still will if he keeps doing some of the things he supossedly is doing.
i mean... argh. i still love him. i still call him for hours on end, but it adds up to something that may or may not be worth it.
but theres still this feelling of safety and happiness and just... i don't know.
i so much more me when with him.
i really don't know.