These Are the Times...

[c_rza]

What a great weekend. I have to hand it to Adam again for showing it to me. It started off on a Friday with us going to Speakeasy. Famed bar located in wonderful Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Not for nothing, every time I walk in Bay Ridge, I want to stop in and piss on that bitch's face. Anyway...faithful Arthur Zaslavskiy got me in again. It was nice. I drank, made even more friends, walked around like I knew everyone...well only after a couple of drinks that is. But it was great. I met Tink finally...OMG SHE'S SO TINY!!!!! It's cute how teeeny and tiny she is. Anyway...It was just a great night, I met so many people. Paulie was a cool guy, John...well there were a lotta Johns-fuck it, everyone was mad cool. I tried to buy a lotta people a shot. It's nice I can do things like that every once and a while. But then...well, a nice brand of vodka came...HA...Stoliiiiii, I want Stoliiiii...I don't want no other...HA...I'm stupid...it's an inside joke, don't worry if you don't know. But anyway, it was a great night. Until Julio started going off on D, and she made him get out and made it last call. Todo bien, todo bien. Then all day Saturday I worked. I worked with Cliff and then I went to work with my adoptive father, Al. I had to help him change a pipe that snapped in half. On top of that I have to fix the sewage pump for the building...I'll get to it this week. It's a pain in the ass to change it all. O well. So then Saturday night approached and Adam took me to his brother Anthony's, a.k.a. "Gloop's", crib. Angelo, John and Pykie were also there. The second we walked in, it was like "DRINK!" Then they made me have a boiler maker to start things off, and well it was just a hella interesting night. Charlwie made another appearance or two...or 3, or 8 times. From making deliveries to buying pianos, he did it all. It was fucCing hilarious. That reminds me...Dana has to talk to Charlwie about his small penis and her big tetas. Angelo and John passed out and Adam, Ant, Pykie and I decided it was time to eat again. So we ended up at a diner for some food. There was this awesome asian guy with a blue tuxedo shirt. But the highlight of it was when Pykie decided to bet me 25 beans for me to drink a whole-I'd figure a whole 24 oz bottle of homemade honey mustard dijon sauce. Let me put it this way...Now I know how slutty girls feel. But I guess it was for laughter. Gloop said it was funny how I had a lil on the side of my mouth and I made it disappear really homo-ish. HA! We headed back and basically everyone passed out. I kept waking up cuz of those damn pigeons outside Gloop's window. I'm going back there with a pellet gun. But yo, everyone was just passing gas the whole night. Every fucking person was just letting them rip. And the culprit...DOMINO'S. Yes, folks, cheeseburger pizza is a no-no. Everyone was just farting away. The worst was Adam cuz he was just letting these silent ones go, and I was sleeping behind him. It was funny cuz at one point he farted on Angelo and Angelo made sure to see it was reciprocated. I'm just surprised Angelo didn't accidentally shart on Adam's head. After, we all got motivated...after some Ace Ventura, and we had brunch at Earl's. There are so many pretty girls working there it seems. After we headed back and Adam and I had to leave. Adam went to Medieval Times with his family and then to PA, while I came home to a mother who can never shut up while she's ahead. I don't do shit to her. I do more than I should or could. She's such an ungrateful bitch. Anyway...all in all I had a great weekened. It helped me get a lot of shit that has been bugging me. I even read in a horoscope that it'd occur to me that I'd meet problems head on this week. I guess I did that more or less. Not in the way I would have preferred it to, but I at least got it off my chest. It's been bugging me, and it's been harboring inside. I had to let it out. I mean you kinda already knew what it was. But it's better that I said it and it made me feel like I alleviated some pressure. I just hope it had some meaning behind it. If it didn't...well...That sucks...That just...yeah...balls...in the face. Anyway...Great mother fucCing weekend yo. It's hotness...I hate that I'm gonna miss the summer. I really hate it. But you gotta do what you gotta do. Speaking of which, I also gotta do Philadelphia. I gotta leave like in May...Early May so I can spend more time out there with some friends of mine. There's gonna be some juicy shit coming this week. Especially with all the mixers approaching. Lata folks.

Now for your joke:

There's a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and the facility, when the student sees a patient masturbating right there in the hallway. "What condition does he have?" the student asks. "He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder," the doctor replies. "If he doesn't obtain sexual release forty to fifty times a day, he'll pass into a coma." The student takes some notes on that, and they continue down the hall. As they turn the corner, he sees another patient with his pants around his ankles, receiving oral sex from a beautiful nurse. "What about him?" the student asks. "What's his story?" "Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replies. "He just has a better health plan."

C-Rza