Home Is Where The Heart Is Part 9.
Title: Home Is Where The Heart Is Part 9
Author: rupie88
Words: 2160
Rating: PG
Warning: none
Summary: Jensen has always been sick kid and Jared is always ending up in hospital for being too adventurous for his own good
Disclaimer: Never happened, not meant to offend anybody. In no way in relation to persons mentioned throughout this story.
Beta: the_muso , What a bloody
A/N: I've nearly finished part 10 then i just have to send it off to my beta and then she's all yours guys.
When Jensen woke a little before noon the first thing he noticed was that he was in his motel room. Which was funny because the last thing he clearly remembered was eating chocolate cake. With that thought his stomach churned. For someone who didn’t drink that much last night he sure felt hung-over. His head ached, his eyes burned and he felt like he was on fire. This cant be good, it didn’t help that his stomach was cramping. He felt sick and then he was up and running into the motel bathroom to empty the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl. Last nights dinner, drinks and desert all rolled out of his mouth, it took a few minutes for his stomach to settle somewhat but he really didn’t fell like moving just yet. He felt dizzy but it didn’t help that the room was spinning or that he felt like his body had reached supernova. All he wanted was sleep, the coolness of the tiles against his back made him pass out that much quicker.
As the fog cleared he noticed someone shaking him and calling out.
”Sir”
”Sir, wake up”
”Sir!” they yelled, slapping his face.
”Wha…. What happened? Who are you?” Jensen mumbled.
”I’m the cleaner, I came to do your weekly sheet change and I found you lying passed out in here on the floor. Just hang on and I’ll call 911” The maid said reaching into her bag for her cell.
”No it’s ok. It’s just a stomach bug; I got some friends that’ll keep and eye on me, its ok.”
”Are you sure sir?”
”Yeah and stop calling me sir, the names’ Jensen. Just pass me my cell off the bed side table and I’ll give him a call now”
”Yeah ok Jensen” The cleaner said walking back towards Jensen’s bedside table.
The maid passed Jensen his phone and he pressed a few buttons before placing it to his ear.
”Hey, It’s Jensen”
”Are you busy man? I’m not doing too well, stomach bug or something, listen the cleaner wants me to go to the hospital so will you come over and hang out for a bit?
”Yes I want you to baby-sit me”
”Thanks man I owe ya one. See ya soon”
Jensen hung up the phone and used the toilet as leverage to help him up. The cleaner helped him get into bed.
”Thank you...um...”
”Sandy” the cleaner said.
”Thanks Sandy”
”Are you sure you’ll be alright Jensen?’
”Yeah, thanks for your help” Jensen said his eyes blinking slower and slower.
”I hope you’re better soon” Sandy said as she closed the motel door.
His eyes felt heavy again. He didn’t even have time to contemplate why he was so unwell before sleep pulled him away.
***
He woke later when he felt something cool press against his forehead. Chris must be here Jensen thinks. Jensen minds starts to ramble as he rolls over, I must have a fever. My feet are hot. ‘I think I might go back to sleep’.
”Thanks Chris” Jensen mumbled.
”Its Jared”
”No your Chris” Jensen said opening his eyes, blinking against the invading light.
”You are Jared” Jensen said shocked.
”Well obviously your eyes aren’t painted on” Jared said smiling.
”I called Chris” Jensen said trying to wrap his head around the idea that he thought he called Chris but actually he called Jared.
”No Jen you called me. You must have pressed the wrong buttons or were hallucinating now just close your eyes and go back to sleep. I’ll still be here when you wake up” Jared said rubbing soothing circles on his arm.
”You don’t have to stay, just call Chris” Jensen said, turning over again so Jared can place another cool cloth on his neck.
”Sleep Jen” Jared said sternly.
Jensen didn't feel like fighting him ,sleep now, Jared could wait another few hours, when his head didn’t feel so foggy.
The next time Jensen woke up he felt much better. His head felt heavy but he could see fine and he didn’t feel hot anymore. It was dark except for the glow of the television. Jared was sitting next to him propped against the head rest, shoes off and eye half closed. He didn’t feel too dizzy so he tried to sit up next to Jared, his hands pushing him forward then up. He grabbed the water bottle from the bed side table and downing half of it, he may feel better but his mouth felt like something had crawled in there and died a few months ago.
”Feeling better Jen?”
”Yeah, kinda. What time is it?”
” A little after 6, you hungry? There is still some pizza in the fridge or some toast or something?”
Jensen shook his head, ”Nah, not hungry and don’t want to risk it anyway”
”Well its there if you want it”
“Thanks man”
”Oh and you had a visitor no long ago. Sandy, she just wanted to know if you were ok”
Jensen sat there obviously thinking. “I don’t remember”
”She told me she thought you’d say that” Jared said with a chuckle
“She’s the lovely lady that found you passed out on the bathroom floor. She said you probably wouldn’t remember much, you were pretty out of it and she said you probably passed out again before she even had the door closed”
”Oh… her” Jensen said still looking confused and a little worried.
Jared chuckled a little, ”You don’t remember her do you?’
”Um… not really” Jensen said smiling.
They both sat there in silence. Just staring at the television but not actually watching it. Jensen could feel the tension seeping through Jared’s skin. Jared was off and it was obvious with the hand twitching and the side glances Jensen was getting.
Jensen said sighing, getting out of bed. God he stunk, ”Well… um I’m going to go shower, make me feel better.”
”Yeah sure give me a yell if you need anything”
”Like to wash my back” Jensen said smirking
”If that’s what you want but I was thinking more along the lines of you falling in the shower since you’ve got a habit of passing out in there” Jared shot back.
”Good point”
”If I’m not out in a hour you better send out a search party” Jensen said picking his clothes up and heading towards the bathroom door.
”Smart ass. And Jen...” Jared said looking away
Jensen looked him dead in the eyes, noticing Jared’s sad face “Yeah?”
”When you get out there’s something I need to talk to you about”
”Ok, is everything alright?”
”We’ll talk when you get out the shower” Jared said quietly.
***
That answer didn’t help ease Jensen’s mind, he just nodded and closed the bathroom door behind him.
Jensen turned the water on letting the room fill with heat and steam. He got undressed and tried to work out what was wrong with Jared. He stepped into the shower; the heat of the water massaged his aching body. He had some idea of what Jared wanted to talk about. It was obvious Jared didn’t want to hang out with him. Their relationship or dating what ever you wanted to call it was going to end. It sucked but Jensen was a man who never let his hopes get too high. ‘Well, better get this over with, Jared’s probably going crazy out there’ Jensen thought.
He got out of the shower, his body pink and hot from the heat, but it was worth it. The headache was just a dull ache now and his muscles felt good as new. He put on the clothes he’d grabbed and brushed his teeth. He sighed, took a deep breath and pulled the door open.
***
Jared was still sitting in the same spot, just looking out the window at the passing cars.
Jared didn’t even look at him when he spoke. “When’s your last gig?”
“Um... tomorrow night at your bar”
Jared sighed.
”Jen listen I don’t know how to say this ok; I’m just going to come out with it.”
This is what Jensen feared he knew it would come sooner or later, it alawys does.
“Its ok Jared, I get it, I understand. I honestly didn’t think it would go very far anyway.”
Jared looked confused. What was he saying? It didn’t make sense.
“Jen when you called me told me you were sick, that you passed out and that Sandy chick wanted to call 911, I freaked out, I panicked.”
”It was understandable, I would have done the same thing if you called me” Jensen cut in when Jared took a breath of air.
But Jared just continued, ”Jen, the last time I had a panic attack I was 12 and I saw my puppy get run over. Nothing has ever triggered a panic attack ever, not even when I was 16 and my dad caught me kissing the boy next door.”
Jensen didn't know what to say, where was this leading to exactly, it didn’t sound like a break up. Jensen just sat there waiting for Jared to continue speaking.
“It scares me that you can make me do that and that must mean something. You mean something. I just don’t think I’m ready to give you up just yet. I’ve never felt like this with anyone before I just want to know I guess where we stand, like what is this to you? Is it just a fling you’ll go home and tell you mates about or something more?”
This definitely wasn’t going in the direction Jensen was thinking. Sure he thought about a future with Jared but he never really contemplated that Jared would think about it too.
”I’m not going to lie, I’ve thought about it, wondering what you wanted out of it. I honestly don’t know, it scares me. All I know is how to fuck and be fucked but with you I want to try so badly. I just don’t want to be… hurt. I’m pretty sure that I love you and I don’t think I could handle it if it broke.” Jensen said quietly.
”Jen, listen to me, I don’t know what’s happened to you in the past but I would never hurt you, I do love you, more than anyone I’ve ever loved and will ever love.” Jared said reaching up to pull Jensen onto the bed next to him.
They sat quietly, finger entwined for a few minutes.
”I’d try for you” Jensen whispered.
“I want you to” Jared said back.
“Do you think we can do long distance?” Jensen asked
”I really hope so, but you do know that I’d come home with you, you know, if there was nothing here, if I didn’t own the bar.”
“Really?” Jensen said disbelieving.
“Yeah but I can’t just sell the bar on a whim for what could turn out to be nothing”
“I would never ask you to sell the bar. Never. If anyone was to move it would be me. I have nothing keeping me back at home just a job I could as easily get here, I bet if I looked I’d have plenty of job offers.” .
Jared was about to say something but then Jensen has a bright idea and cutting him off mid sentence.
”That’s a pretty good idea actually” Jensen said nudging Jared with his elbows.
Jared just stared at him. It’s like the world has done a complete three- sixty on him. Jensen’s been burned from a previous relationship but now he wants to move in with him. That’s Jensen logic for you.
”Really?”
”Yeah” Jensen said sounding like a twelve year old on Christmas morning.
”Are you sure?”
”Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Jensen said smiling
“This is big”
“Yeah. Too big?” Jensen asked noticing Jared’s lack of enthusiasm.
”No its… it’s the right size big” Jared said squeezing Jensen’s hand. "And you can move in with me, I have plenty of room but that’s only if that’s what you want"
"Wouldn't want to live anywhere else" Jensen squeezing Jared's hand back
”But are you sure? Do you really want to pack up your life, just for... just for us?” Jared asked making sure again.
”Yes” Jensen said firmly.
”I just don’t want you to regret it in the end is all”
”When are you going to get it? I love you and that means a hell of a lot, I’ve never told anybody I loved them.”
”I love you too”
Jared sat there looking at their tangled hands.
”What are you going to tell Chris and Steve?”
”They already know about us and thank god this was our last stop on our road trip, don’t think they could handle me bailing half way through.”
“Are you sure you really want do this?” Jared asked sounding like a broken record.
”Do I look like I need convincing”
”When are you going tell the guys?”
”I was thinking after the gig tomorrow night. That way I can convince them into buying a few rounds”
”Yeah sounds good”
Jared smiled big, making his dimples deep in his cheeks.
”What?” Jensen asked
”I love you” Jared said with a shit eating grin.
“I love you too” Jensen said blushing
”I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of saying that”
”Trust me, I can think of better uses for that mouth of yours” Jensen said leaning into Jared to kiss him .
Chapter 10
Author: rupie88
Words: 2160
Rating: PG
Warning: none
Summary: Jensen has always been sick kid and Jared is always ending up in hospital for being too adventurous for his own good
Disclaimer: Never happened, not meant to offend anybody. In no way in relation to persons mentioned throughout this story.
Beta: the_muso , What a bloody
A/N: I've nearly finished part 10 then i just have to send it off to my beta and then she's all yours guys.
When Jensen woke a little before noon the first thing he noticed was that he was in his motel room. Which was funny because the last thing he clearly remembered was eating chocolate cake. With that thought his stomach churned. For someone who didn’t drink that much last night he sure felt hung-over. His head ached, his eyes burned and he felt like he was on fire. This cant be good, it didn’t help that his stomach was cramping. He felt sick and then he was up and running into the motel bathroom to empty the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl. Last nights dinner, drinks and desert all rolled out of his mouth, it took a few minutes for his stomach to settle somewhat but he really didn’t fell like moving just yet. He felt dizzy but it didn’t help that the room was spinning or that he felt like his body had reached supernova. All he wanted was sleep, the coolness of the tiles against his back made him pass out that much quicker.
As the fog cleared he noticed someone shaking him and calling out.
”Sir”
”Sir, wake up”
”Sir!” they yelled, slapping his face.
”Wha…. What happened? Who are you?” Jensen mumbled.
”I’m the cleaner, I came to do your weekly sheet change and I found you lying passed out in here on the floor. Just hang on and I’ll call 911” The maid said reaching into her bag for her cell.
”No it’s ok. It’s just a stomach bug; I got some friends that’ll keep and eye on me, its ok.”
”Are you sure sir?”
”Yeah and stop calling me sir, the names’ Jensen. Just pass me my cell off the bed side table and I’ll give him a call now”
”Yeah ok Jensen” The cleaner said walking back towards Jensen’s bedside table.
The maid passed Jensen his phone and he pressed a few buttons before placing it to his ear.
”Hey, It’s Jensen”
”Are you busy man? I’m not doing too well, stomach bug or something, listen the cleaner wants me to go to the hospital so will you come over and hang out for a bit?
”Yes I want you to baby-sit me”
”Thanks man I owe ya one. See ya soon”
Jensen hung up the phone and used the toilet as leverage to help him up. The cleaner helped him get into bed.
”Thank you...um...”
”Sandy” the cleaner said.
”Thanks Sandy”
”Are you sure you’ll be alright Jensen?’
”Yeah, thanks for your help” Jensen said his eyes blinking slower and slower.
”I hope you’re better soon” Sandy said as she closed the motel door.
His eyes felt heavy again. He didn’t even have time to contemplate why he was so unwell before sleep pulled him away.
***
He woke later when he felt something cool press against his forehead. Chris must be here Jensen thinks. Jensen minds starts to ramble as he rolls over, I must have a fever. My feet are hot. ‘I think I might go back to sleep’.
”Thanks Chris” Jensen mumbled.
”Its Jared”
”No your Chris” Jensen said opening his eyes, blinking against the invading light.
”You are Jared” Jensen said shocked.
”Well obviously your eyes aren’t painted on” Jared said smiling.
”I called Chris” Jensen said trying to wrap his head around the idea that he thought he called Chris but actually he called Jared.
”No Jen you called me. You must have pressed the wrong buttons or were hallucinating now just close your eyes and go back to sleep. I’ll still be here when you wake up” Jared said rubbing soothing circles on his arm.
”You don’t have to stay, just call Chris” Jensen said, turning over again so Jared can place another cool cloth on his neck.
”Sleep Jen” Jared said sternly.
Jensen didn't feel like fighting him ,sleep now, Jared could wait another few hours, when his head didn’t feel so foggy.
The next time Jensen woke up he felt much better. His head felt heavy but he could see fine and he didn’t feel hot anymore. It was dark except for the glow of the television. Jared was sitting next to him propped against the head rest, shoes off and eye half closed. He didn’t feel too dizzy so he tried to sit up next to Jared, his hands pushing him forward then up. He grabbed the water bottle from the bed side table and downing half of it, he may feel better but his mouth felt like something had crawled in there and died a few months ago.
”Feeling better Jen?”
”Yeah, kinda. What time is it?”
” A little after 6, you hungry? There is still some pizza in the fridge or some toast or something?”
Jensen shook his head, ”Nah, not hungry and don’t want to risk it anyway”
”Well its there if you want it”
“Thanks man”
”Oh and you had a visitor no long ago. Sandy, she just wanted to know if you were ok”
Jensen sat there obviously thinking. “I don’t remember”
”She told me she thought you’d say that” Jared said with a chuckle
“She’s the lovely lady that found you passed out on the bathroom floor. She said you probably wouldn’t remember much, you were pretty out of it and she said you probably passed out again before she even had the door closed”
”Oh… her” Jensen said still looking confused and a little worried.
Jared chuckled a little, ”You don’t remember her do you?’
”Um… not really” Jensen said smiling.
They both sat there in silence. Just staring at the television but not actually watching it. Jensen could feel the tension seeping through Jared’s skin. Jared was off and it was obvious with the hand twitching and the side glances Jensen was getting.
Jensen said sighing, getting out of bed. God he stunk, ”Well… um I’m going to go shower, make me feel better.”
”Yeah sure give me a yell if you need anything”
”Like to wash my back” Jensen said smirking
”If that’s what you want but I was thinking more along the lines of you falling in the shower since you’ve got a habit of passing out in there” Jared shot back.
”Good point”
”If I’m not out in a hour you better send out a search party” Jensen said picking his clothes up and heading towards the bathroom door.
”Smart ass. And Jen...” Jared said looking away
Jensen looked him dead in the eyes, noticing Jared’s sad face “Yeah?”
”When you get out there’s something I need to talk to you about”
”Ok, is everything alright?”
”We’ll talk when you get out the shower” Jared said quietly.
***
That answer didn’t help ease Jensen’s mind, he just nodded and closed the bathroom door behind him.
Jensen turned the water on letting the room fill with heat and steam. He got undressed and tried to work out what was wrong with Jared. He stepped into the shower; the heat of the water massaged his aching body. He had some idea of what Jared wanted to talk about. It was obvious Jared didn’t want to hang out with him. Their relationship or dating what ever you wanted to call it was going to end. It sucked but Jensen was a man who never let his hopes get too high. ‘Well, better get this over with, Jared’s probably going crazy out there’ Jensen thought.
He got out of the shower, his body pink and hot from the heat, but it was worth it. The headache was just a dull ache now and his muscles felt good as new. He put on the clothes he’d grabbed and brushed his teeth. He sighed, took a deep breath and pulled the door open.
***
Jared was still sitting in the same spot, just looking out the window at the passing cars.
Jared didn’t even look at him when he spoke. “When’s your last gig?”
“Um... tomorrow night at your bar”
Jared sighed.
”Jen listen I don’t know how to say this ok; I’m just going to come out with it.”
This is what Jensen feared he knew it would come sooner or later, it alawys does.
“Its ok Jared, I get it, I understand. I honestly didn’t think it would go very far anyway.”
Jared looked confused. What was he saying? It didn’t make sense.
“Jen when you called me told me you were sick, that you passed out and that Sandy chick wanted to call 911, I freaked out, I panicked.”
”It was understandable, I would have done the same thing if you called me” Jensen cut in when Jared took a breath of air.
But Jared just continued, ”Jen, the last time I had a panic attack I was 12 and I saw my puppy get run over. Nothing has ever triggered a panic attack ever, not even when I was 16 and my dad caught me kissing the boy next door.”
Jensen didn't know what to say, where was this leading to exactly, it didn’t sound like a break up. Jensen just sat there waiting for Jared to continue speaking.
“It scares me that you can make me do that and that must mean something. You mean something. I just don’t think I’m ready to give you up just yet. I’ve never felt like this with anyone before I just want to know I guess where we stand, like what is this to you? Is it just a fling you’ll go home and tell you mates about or something more?”
This definitely wasn’t going in the direction Jensen was thinking. Sure he thought about a future with Jared but he never really contemplated that Jared would think about it too.
”I’m not going to lie, I’ve thought about it, wondering what you wanted out of it. I honestly don’t know, it scares me. All I know is how to fuck and be fucked but with you I want to try so badly. I just don’t want to be… hurt. I’m pretty sure that I love you and I don’t think I could handle it if it broke.” Jensen said quietly.
”Jen, listen to me, I don’t know what’s happened to you in the past but I would never hurt you, I do love you, more than anyone I’ve ever loved and will ever love.” Jared said reaching up to pull Jensen onto the bed next to him.
They sat quietly, finger entwined for a few minutes.
”I’d try for you” Jensen whispered.
“I want you to” Jared said back.
“Do you think we can do long distance?” Jensen asked
”I really hope so, but you do know that I’d come home with you, you know, if there was nothing here, if I didn’t own the bar.”
“Really?” Jensen said disbelieving.
“Yeah but I can’t just sell the bar on a whim for what could turn out to be nothing”
“I would never ask you to sell the bar. Never. If anyone was to move it would be me. I have nothing keeping me back at home just a job I could as easily get here, I bet if I looked I’d have plenty of job offers.” .
Jared was about to say something but then Jensen has a bright idea and cutting him off mid sentence.
”That’s a pretty good idea actually” Jensen said nudging Jared with his elbows.
Jared just stared at him. It’s like the world has done a complete three- sixty on him. Jensen’s been burned from a previous relationship but now he wants to move in with him. That’s Jensen logic for you.
”Really?”
”Yeah” Jensen said sounding like a twelve year old on Christmas morning.
”Are you sure?”
”Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Jensen said smiling
“This is big”
“Yeah. Too big?” Jensen asked noticing Jared’s lack of enthusiasm.
”No its… it’s the right size big” Jared said squeezing Jensen’s hand. "And you can move in with me, I have plenty of room but that’s only if that’s what you want"
"Wouldn't want to live anywhere else" Jensen squeezing Jared's hand back
”But are you sure? Do you really want to pack up your life, just for... just for us?” Jared asked making sure again.
”Yes” Jensen said firmly.
”I just don’t want you to regret it in the end is all”
”When are you going to get it? I love you and that means a hell of a lot, I’ve never told anybody I loved them.”
”I love you too”
Jared sat there looking at their tangled hands.
”What are you going to tell Chris and Steve?”
”They already know about us and thank god this was our last stop on our road trip, don’t think they could handle me bailing half way through.”
“Are you sure you really want do this?” Jared asked sounding like a broken record.
”Do I look like I need convincing”
”When are you going tell the guys?”
”I was thinking after the gig tomorrow night. That way I can convince them into buying a few rounds”
”Yeah sounds good”
Jared smiled big, making his dimples deep in his cheeks.
”What?” Jensen asked
”I love you” Jared said with a shit eating grin.
“I love you too” Jensen said blushing
”I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of saying that”
”Trust me, I can think of better uses for that mouth of yours” Jensen said leaning into Jared to kiss him .
Chapter 10