They Might Be K-ON! Chapter 3
They Might Be K-ON!
Track Three
Return To The Planet Of The Apes
The month went by quickly. Between the preparation, sleepless night worrying about the safety of Brooklyn, and of course explaining the situation to their families and the mayor of New York City, They Might Be Giants knew that another tour would probably be the death of them.
To top the whole thing off in a bow made of brightly coloured misery and gift wrap made of papers which gave you the news in black-and-blues, none of them had managed to think of a possible opening band.
One week before they were scheduled to start the tour, John knocked on the door to John's apartment. After about thirty seconds, John opened the door looking flustered. His normally messy hair was even messier than usual.
"Oh, hi John. Come on in."
John stepped through the door to see that John's apartment was in even worse condition than his. It was obvious that John was very stressed.
"Sorry about the mess." said John.
"Don't worry, I've seen... No, actually I haven't."
John laughed and put on some coffee. He motioned for John to sit down and left the room for a moment. He returned with a laptop.
"John, I've been doing some research. As it turns out, there are thousands of Japanese bands we could choose from. There's one problem, though."
"And that would be?" asked John.
"Most of these bands are huge, incredibly mainstream and would never open for a band like us."
"Crap."
"We could ask any one of them of course, and if their managers thought it would be good for business, then we'd have a band for the whole tour." John said. He didn't look very enthusiastic.
"That wouldn't be much fun." said John.
"I know. That's why we need to go to Japan and talk to the prime minister."
John's eyes widened and his glasses nearly fell from his face. "What?! Why not check wikipedia?"
John put a hand on his old friend's shoulder.
"Do you care about the future of Brooklyn and They Might Be Giants?"
John sputtered, "Of course I-!"
"Then we need to go to Japan," said John. "We need to go to Japan, and Talk to the prime minister. We can ask him if he knows any smaller groups that would be willing to open for us."
"John, this is crazy!"
"I know it's crazy!" John exclaimed. "But it's our only chance!"
~~~
John and John boarded the plane that would take them to Japan. One of the stewardess' seemed to recognise them, but didn't make a show about it. She did, however, keep looking back at them in between excited words with another stewardess. After the plane was in the air, John tried to get some sleep, while John read a book off his iPad. Eventually, John stopped reading, and shuffled through his iPod, occasionally coming across old demos which he had forgotten about.
When they finally landed in Japan, the two of them were wide awake and anxious for their meeting with the prime minister. John had made an appointment with him, which, as it turned out, was easier than he would have guessed. His secretary, a very bored sounding woman, had set up a time for them to meet. There would be security present to make sure the leader of their country was safe.
Upon reaching the front desk, John and John flashed their most charming smiles and hoped for the best.
"And you two would be?" asked a woman sitting behind the desk. She was quit small and probably in her mid to late forties. She my have looked cute if she didn't seem so bored with everything.
"Hi," said John. "We're from the mega-band They Might Be Giants. We made an appointment with the Prime Minister."
"Ah, yes," said the woman. "He's been expecting you. Go on in."
Knowing better than to keep the leader of the great island nation of Japan waiting, John and John entered a medium sized cozy room, complete with a fireplace, comfy couches and a Prime Minister. He was ten feet tall - unusual for a Japanese man - and wore a black suit and tie, his face shrouded in shadows and mystery. John gulped and began to speak.
"Mr. Prime Minis-"
"Why have you returned to Japan?" The intimidating man inquired.
John thought about what he should say before deciding to gave the Prime Minister the whole story. The Prime Minister looked at John as he told him how The Deranged Millionaire had challenged them to save Brooklyn. He scratched his chin as John told him how close they had been to failing the first time. He sighed as he told him of their advancing age and shed a tear when he said they would have to be on the road in a week.
"I would love to help you," said the impressively tall and mysterious man. "But since your last show here, some laws have been passed."
"What kind of laws?" John asked nervously.
"Laws that restrict what you can and can't do here."
"Like what?!" John demanded.
"Well," said the Prime Minister. "After last time, it was decided that you can't have an opening band that's over eighteen."
"What?" said John. "How does that make any sense?"
"It's a population thing," said the Prime Minister. "Anyone who tours with you may run a high risk of being killed or sterilised before they can pass on their genes. We can't let something like that happen."
"With all due respect, Mr. Prime Minister, no one has ever died because they toured with us."
"True, but last time you were here, Vocaloid opened for you and we nearly lost Ren to the Cybermen."
"Now, surely that's an exaggeration!"
"He nearly became the Cyberleader!"
The severe and refined gentleman had a point.
"But what about bands who have members who are under eighteen?" John said.
The Prime Minister scratched his chin and thought for a while. Finally, he turned to John and John.
"Do you know of a woman named Yamanaka Sawako?"
John and John gaped. They had met a young woman named Sawako Yamanaka during a tour in Japan. The last they remembered, she had been in a heavy metal band called Death Devil. John and John weren't into the metal scene but struck up a friendship with the musically gifted woman. She had kept in touch and often came to their shows when they were in Japan.
"Tall, long brown hair and glasses?" asked John.
"Yes. That's her." said the Prime Minister.
"But she's-"
"She's not the musician you're looking for, but she has a band. They don't have much experience outside of small local shows, but I guarantee that they're your best hope!"
"Do we just - I don't know - shoot her an email?" asked John.
"That's how most people contact each other nowadays," said The Prime Minister. "Go back to America and contact her there. I will make arrangements on my end, you make arrangements on yours."
"Thank you, sir." said John.
In an attempt to be polite, John and John bowed. The Prime Minister then took both their hands and shook them heartily. A day later, a woman named Sawako Yamanaka received an email from an old friend, John Flansburgh.
~~~
Author's note: Thanks go to Vethica for the nice reviews! I'll try to keep producing quality work for you and anyone else who is enjoying this fic.