starbucks dreams and reality checks
So, usually i dont spend very much money on things i know wil do me no good in the long run, but every rule at some time screams loudly for me to break it. The other day i got a strawberry cream frappucino (sp?)from starbucks. So far i think that is the closest thing i have been to that would remind me of heaven had i ever been there.It was delicious.And only five dollars. I wish that heaven was only five dollars. Maybe next year when i am at IUPUC i will be able to randomly go over to starbucks and get them. Then again i will probably be spending all my money on college and the retarded crap that they charge us for. Speaking of money i need a real job. One that doesnt invlove me cleaning some old peoples houses.
I miss the summer and the warm weather.
I miss people who shouldnt hold a place in my heart but do and will because some people just do that to us ya know?
I miss my mom. I miss her desperatly to the point of wanting to job off a bridge into shallow water in hopes she will want to stop me and catch me and come back to me despite the fact the she is tinier that i.
Don't mistake this for drama. it is not, just a lonley heart and it hurts because i feel abandoned. It hurts because i feel alone and i know people who no nothing will draw their own conclusions. assumption makes us look like asses.
im worried about you mom.
You dont know it but i am.
And i am worried she will never talk to me.
i have no respect for people who tell you they are in love with you after two weeks. someone please take the liberty of explaining to me what love is....
and that if someday someone loves me enough to marry me that we will get married and she wont be there because she was afraid to be alone and he controls her and wont let her come.
That my eighteen years of her being there and being my best friend has diminished for some five months of what she considers happiness.
I mean not to drive those away but for god sakes it must takes some people everything to wake up and see whats going on.
she said she would always love me no matter what happens.
How can you love your child yet forget their existence.
I have tried to call, she told me not to.
CALL ME MOM!!! PLEASE just call me....
*sigh*
My meaningless rambling is serving only the purpose of my venting.
regardless of that part of my conscience everything is going good. i want to hang out with people and do stuff. im bored and my homework is finally caught up.i have a new phone number...
352-1693.
love,
christina
I miss the summer and the warm weather.
I miss people who shouldnt hold a place in my heart but do and will because some people just do that to us ya know?
I miss my mom. I miss her desperatly to the point of wanting to job off a bridge into shallow water in hopes she will want to stop me and catch me and come back to me despite the fact the she is tinier that i.
Don't mistake this for drama. it is not, just a lonley heart and it hurts because i feel abandoned. It hurts because i feel alone and i know people who no nothing will draw their own conclusions. assumption makes us look like asses.
im worried about you mom.
You dont know it but i am.
And i am worried she will never talk to me.
i have no respect for people who tell you they are in love with you after two weeks. someone please take the liberty of explaining to me what love is....
and that if someday someone loves me enough to marry me that we will get married and she wont be there because she was afraid to be alone and he controls her and wont let her come.
That my eighteen years of her being there and being my best friend has diminished for some five months of what she considers happiness.
I mean not to drive those away but for god sakes it must takes some people everything to wake up and see whats going on.
she said she would always love me no matter what happens.
How can you love your child yet forget their existence.
I have tried to call, she told me not to.
CALL ME MOM!!! PLEASE just call me....
*sigh*
My meaningless rambling is serving only the purpose of my venting.
regardless of that part of my conscience everything is going good. i want to hang out with people and do stuff. im bored and my homework is finally caught up.i have a new phone number...
352-1693.
love,
christina