Todo list Friday 11th of Dec (bitter cynical todo list)
Almost wrote "Nov" above because I ripped off the image of Dec on my calendar and it now says "November" with the December grid. I was finding the image of Micky and Minnie exchanging Xmas presents in front of a tree to be triggering my memory that I will be spending Xmas alone and the person I want to spend it with will be spending the time in Calistoga getting mud baths and massages with someone else that isn't me. It is grief, not some cognitive distortion that I can analyze away. Being sick is making it hard to let it go and think of other things.
Yesterday I sent resumes to a dozen or so places, and with each hit of the sites and with each email I started to feel more and more useless and worthless and totally and utterly incompetent. I have three weeks to get a guaranteed job or else I am moving to TX. I have skills, I WANT to work, so why do I continue to see ads for jobs I've applied to but nobody is calling me back!!! (as I write this I got a call back from Happy Hound in Emeryville, interview on Monday!)
Todo list, which I think is going to be light since I am sick:
- make tea Make more tea, I got fresh ginger from the market, will make a home made brew of ginger and lemon zest
- vacuum
- sweep
- sort magic cards
- hang up clothes
- continue to look for jobs until I'm blue in the face
- sleep
- go to dan produce and get fresh fruit I also got some cock sauce for my ramen soup to help clear up sinuses and avocados for fatty acids and proteins to help in healing and rebuilding cells being destroyed right now by white cells. I love how our white cells are like little fighter pilots just blasting away the infected cells, like some internal space zombie movie. viruses look like some weird freaky space alien with their RNA heads and little spidery legs.
- sleep
- drink water
- sleep