Happy Thanksgiving to my husband
The 16th/17th of this month was my 15 anniversary of our first 'date'. Dec 23rd will be our 14 year wedding anniversary. I would like everyone to know that I still love him.
In our early 20s we were scared about life, partied too much and did things that hurt each other while we partied too much. Although we accepted those actions, we never really forgot them or really forgave them. Either too stubborn or too scared to let a third party help us, we let them fester. We entered our 30s and we both changed quite a bit but we both held onto those action done by each other even though they have long been done and not seen again. But we couldn't communicate. 3+ years ago I started to individuate, got a sense of what I wanted to be, which caused tension, lots of tension. Again, because of us being too scared or too stubborn to let a third party intervene we let it fester and we got bitter. It got bad, very bad, and I left.
First three months I was too angry to apologize or accept apology, and I stayed away. Next 4 months I can back, not as husband and wife, but as roommates. But even as roommates I did not have room to grow. After the house foreclosed and we moved to separate apartments did I really have time to grow. Over the next 4 to 5 months we were getting closer and closer. I was spending more time with him, spending more time at his house then mine. I was feeling again but lying to myself otherwise. It was good, very good. I was happy, and despite not having me there with him 24/7 he was happy too. But he wanted more and I was not ready yet. I lied to myself and to him that I would never be ready. Not on purpose, I just didn't know.
An old girlfriend contacted him on Facebook and what was just a coffee meet up quickly became more. Before I could realize my true feelings and do anything about it, it blossomed into something big very fast. That was my kick in the ass. My kick in the ass could have been when we finailly sat down to go over the divorce paperwork, but this, this happened first. It was my wake up call.
I decided that instead of just giving lip service to letting a third party help us heal, I actually followed through. I will be having my third session on Tuesday, and will continue to go as long as I am here, and were ever I go to continue to heal.
I love my husband and I want him back. He completes me, he is my counter balance and I his. He is my best friend in the whole world and I am lost without him. I shout out to everyone, I love Frank Xavier Ledo.
In our early 20s we were scared about life, partied too much and did things that hurt each other while we partied too much. Although we accepted those actions, we never really forgot them or really forgave them. Either too stubborn or too scared to let a third party help us, we let them fester. We entered our 30s and we both changed quite a bit but we both held onto those action done by each other even though they have long been done and not seen again. But we couldn't communicate. 3+ years ago I started to individuate, got a sense of what I wanted to be, which caused tension, lots of tension. Again, because of us being too scared or too stubborn to let a third party intervene we let it fester and we got bitter. It got bad, very bad, and I left.
First three months I was too angry to apologize or accept apology, and I stayed away. Next 4 months I can back, not as husband and wife, but as roommates. But even as roommates I did not have room to grow. After the house foreclosed and we moved to separate apartments did I really have time to grow. Over the next 4 to 5 months we were getting closer and closer. I was spending more time with him, spending more time at his house then mine. I was feeling again but lying to myself otherwise. It was good, very good. I was happy, and despite not having me there with him 24/7 he was happy too. But he wanted more and I was not ready yet. I lied to myself and to him that I would never be ready. Not on purpose, I just didn't know.
An old girlfriend contacted him on Facebook and what was just a coffee meet up quickly became more. Before I could realize my true feelings and do anything about it, it blossomed into something big very fast. That was my kick in the ass. My kick in the ass could have been when we finailly sat down to go over the divorce paperwork, but this, this happened first. It was my wake up call.
I decided that instead of just giving lip service to letting a third party help us heal, I actually followed through. I will be having my third session on Tuesday, and will continue to go as long as I am here, and were ever I go to continue to heal.
I love my husband and I want him back. He completes me, he is my counter balance and I his. He is my best friend in the whole world and I am lost without him. I shout out to everyone, I love Frank Xavier Ledo.