(no subject)
It was really beautiful to see them together. I was nervous about having Kevin and John and Ryan and me all within homicide distance. I looked in the mirror for a long time before they arrived and thought about who I was, who I am and who I want to be. I don't want to be this bitter, angry ex-wife who somehow passes that on to her son. I don't want to deny him another loving adult to guide him. And I certainly don't want to live in the past. If I was ever going to face the future, this was it.
I swung Ryan into my arms, grabbed the diaper bag and out the door we went. I buckled him into the carseat at the back of Kevin's car and I noted how much of a bachelor's car it really was. There weren't cheerios smushed in the seat, or little plastic sticky things on the windows. There are no diapers scattered randomly or fingerprints on the leather or the windows. Ryan tried to change as much of that as he could.
The picnic went much better than I expected and Kevin and I even managed to laugh. Kevin set out a plate for him and I helped Ryan as he shoved fistfuls into his mouth. It's so beautiful to see John interacting with his son. They are so alike and the older Ryan gets, the more personality he displays the more of John I see reflected.
It was a wonderful mother's day.
I swung Ryan into my arms, grabbed the diaper bag and out the door we went. I buckled him into the carseat at the back of Kevin's car and I noted how much of a bachelor's car it really was. There weren't cheerios smushed in the seat, or little plastic sticky things on the windows. There are no diapers scattered randomly or fingerprints on the leather or the windows. Ryan tried to change as much of that as he could.
The picnic went much better than I expected and Kevin and I even managed to laugh. Kevin set out a plate for him and I helped Ryan as he shoved fistfuls into his mouth. It's so beautiful to see John interacting with his son. They are so alike and the older Ryan gets, the more personality he displays the more of John I see reflected.
It was a wonderful mother's day.